Will You Go Out With My Big, Green AlterEgo?
by dhauren
Summary: Stark flipped his face plate up and studied the scene. "I think she just gave Hulk his first sexual experience." Thor comes to rescue Jane and Darcy with the Avengers in tow. Hulk makes an appearance, and is impressed by a taser-happy intern.
1. Chapter 1

Yeah, so, I got totally sucked in by all the Darcy/Bruce Darcy/Hulk fics on AO3, and had to try my hand. Please review, love it or hate it.

* * *

Jane was nearly out of her mind, Darcy decided. She'd gotten a phone call minutes ago that had turned her into a raving lunatic. She was rushing around tidying up the lab, and muttering to herself under her breath. Darcy knew it was better to stay out of the way when that happened, but after five frenetic minutes, she had to ask.

"Jane, what's going on?"

The astrophysicist froze, and then blinked. "Thor. It's Thor! He's back, somehow. And he's coming to visit!"

If Darcy found a mirror and tried to make herself a little more presentable, she figured no one would really blame her.

Jane evidently wasn't expecting Thor to arrive with friends. Quite a few friends. They kind of burst into the lab, bringing a little chaos with them. And holy shit! That was Tony Freaking Stark! How did Thor know Tony Stark?

Jane frowned at the explanation Thor offered for why he was back. Some kind of confused rambling about his brother and dark matter. She'd probably question him later. Darcy didn't even care. She was too busy oogling the eye candy Thor had brought with him.

Tony Stark was handsome, but way too impressed with himself. There was another cut blond guy who looked a little too apple pie to fit in, but he was certainly drool worthy. The lips! The eyelashes! The backside! The woman, a redhead, was lethal and beautiful. The man she stood with had amazing arms, and a compact, stocky build.

The last man seemed completely out of place. His hair was a disheveled mess, and his clothes were rumpled and poorly fitted. He wore eyeglasses, but still blinked at everything as if it were blurry. But he seemed at home in the lab, wandering around inspecting equipment. Stark, surprisingly enough, walked with him, and offered commentary. Darcy didn't get it. Stark seemed to be the type who would belittle someone like the mop-headed man.

Thor didn't really explain who the visitors were to him. Just that they were his 'friends'.

It seemed as if Darcy and Jane had missed a very important piece of world news in their relocation to their new remote job. Because when Thor mentioned the battle in New York, both women blinked at him.

"What battle?" Darcy asked.

She flinched when all eyes turned to look at her. "What? We just relocated to the middle of nowhere! I don't get internet service out here, so we have no idea what's going on!"

Tony Stark snorted and waved a dismissive hand. "Oh you know. Alien invasion end of the world type thing. S'okay. We handled it."

Darcy squealed. "We? Like Iron Man and Thor?"

"Nah…all of us," Stark corrected, waving a hand out to all the visitors.

Darcy didn't know anything about the rest of them. "Um...okay. Are you all superheroes too?"

The redheaded woman sighed in exasperation. "Please ignore anything Mr. Stark says. He has this unfortunate problem of not being able to keep his mouth closed when he should."

Stark waved dismissively again. "I told you what I thought of all this secretive bullshit. We wouldn't be here if these two didn't have clearance. I mean, that was just because of Thor, but still..." He looked around. "I don't know what you thought you heard, Legolas, but it seems like all is well here."

The guy with the arms (Darcy already was thinking of him as Arms) frowned at Stark. "I know what I heard. Selvig got a text from Foster, telling him where she was relocated. Loki was all over that. He wanted to 'collect' her. He sent a squad of five mercenaries after her."

Jane finally pulled her face away from where it had been glued to Thor's. "What?"

Stark shook his head. "How do you survive? The whole alien invasion thing? It was spearheaded by Thor's brother. He mind control zapped your pal Selvig into building the portal necessary to bring the aliens through to Earth. And you texted your new location to him? Geez."

Darcy's eyes widened. "So that was the reason for the sudden relocation? S.H.I.E.L.D didn't say, just that they strongly recommended we go."

"And no one has been here?" the redhead queried.

Darcy shook her head. "No. Just us…and us. And all this empty space."

Arms shook his head. "Would the control have faded when Loki was shut down?" he asked.

Thor shrugged. "I am not certain. I am not a sorcerer and I do not claim to understand all that my brother can do."

Arms didn't like that answer. "I don't like it. C'mon Tasha. Let's make sure the perimeter is secured."

Arms and the redhead left. Jane and Thor went back to canoodling, which was slightly sickening.

Darcy was making a beeline for Apple Pie, because she totally wanted to pinch his cheeks. And not the ones he smiled with. She'd gotten a good glimpse of the perfect peach halves that rested at the base of his back, and she couldn't resist.

Before she made it three steps, Arms and the redhead tumbled back through the outside door, shouting about suiting up. What the hell?

But Apple Pie was pulling a shield (seriously, what the hell?) out of the duffel bag he'd been carrying. Arms went one better and pulled out a bow and quiver of arrows from his bag. Who used a bow in this day and age? Redhead was packing, because she suddenly had guns in her hands.

Stark won the prize though, because he tossed the weird metal briefcase he'd been carrying on the floor, stepped on it, and the damn thing was suddenly expanding to cover him in an Iron Man suit. Yeah, wow. Darcy didn't even look twice when Thor pulled his hammer out of a bag, and got armored up. She'd seen his party trick before.

That left Moppy. Darcy stared hard at him, just waiting. He noticed her looking and shrugged.

"Yeah, I think I'll sit this one out. There's a lot of breakable things around here. Equipment, people..."

That made Darcy very curious as to what his trick was.

Thor, after a quick conversation with Arms and Red, herded Jane and Darcy into the middle of the room, inside a protective circle. Jane was scared, and held tight to Darcy's arm. Darcy, after having survived the giant robot attack in New Mexico, felt like she had a handle on things. But she had grabbed her bag and had her taser ready, just in case. She offered a grin as Moppy joined them, looking worried.

It happened quickly. One moment they were all standing there, waiting. The next moment, men were coming through the door and window. They had guns. There were a lot of them.

"You said five!" Stark protested in his tinny, Iron Man voice.

Arms shrugged, releasing an arrow. "There were five sent. It looks like they found friends."

Which was such a complete understatement at the sheer amount of men pouring into the observatory lab that Darcy wanted to punch Arms.

The enclosed space was hampering Thor and his friends quite a bit. Thor and Iron Man weren't really designed for close quarters combat, but Apple Pie, Red, and Arms seemed to be doing just fine. Thor was trying, with short, vicious swings of Mjolnir. Stark was really hampered, and was using blasts from his hands and occasional multi shots from his shoulders.

It was going well. Attackers were piling up on the floor, and Thor and his friends were relaxing a little when it happened. One attacker evaded an arrow and dove through the protective ring, rolling to his feet with a gun pointed right at Darcy. She froze, because yeah, the barrel of that gun looked cannon sized when it was pointed at her face.

That was when Moppy stepped in between her and the gun. Was he nuts? He just put himself in front of a gun. And…what the hell? He was taking his glasses off and pocketing them. She fully expected him to raise his fists and taunt the attacker.

"Put the gun down," Moppy said in a reasonable voice. He seemed so very calm, and Darcy didn't know how he wasn't completely freaking out with a gun pointed at him.

The attacker snarled something in a language that Darcy didn't understand, and waved the gun threateningly. Moppy didn't even flinch.

"You really don't want to do this. Trust me. Just leave and take your friends with you."

He _was_ nuts! And about to get shot. Apple Pie was yelling something about someone taking out the attacker guy, and when Arms swiveled, arrow now pointed at the guy inside the ring, the attacker acted in desperation. He pulled the trigger.

Darcy screamed, expecting Moppy's blood to spray all over her. Instead, Moppy roared and swelled and turned green. The bullet plinked to the floor harmlessly, and the guy with the gun went sailing through the closest wall. Big Green roared again, and surged forward toward the attackers, completely bowling over Thor and Apple Pie in the process.

So that's what Moppy did.

It went a little crazy from there. Big Green wasn't happy about being shot, and all the attackers had focused on him as soon as he came boiling out from between the others. Attackers were flying left and right. Darcy figured that later, she'd probably freak out about it, but right now, she was just enjoying the sheer carnage that Big Green was doling out. He seemed to always have two men in hand, using them to bash the other ones, or throw them at others. There wasn't a whole lot of finesse in what he did, but it was effective.

Arms shrugged, and put his bow down. He leaned his hip up against the nearest desk and watched with bored disinterest as Big Green mopped up the attackers. Red fired a few more shots and then joined him.

It was funny watching Iron Man standing there with nothing to do. Stark seemed a little grumpy about it, based on his mutterings inside the suit. Thor and Apple Pie picked themselves up off the floor and watched. They both seemed a little tense still. Darcy couldn't figure that one out until Big Green finished with the attackers and whirled around to focus on his friends. He still wasn't in a very good mood.

Thor held up a placating hand. "It is over, Banner."

Apparently Big Green didn't think so. He roared and swatted Thor to one side. Apple Pie was similarly treated. When Iron Man blasted him, Big Green only blinked, and threw a desk at Stark.

Arms and Red backed off slowly, hoping to draw Big Green's attention, but instead, it fell on Jane and Darcy.

"Oh shit," Darcy muttered. There was almost nothing left of Moppy in Big Green. Well, the hair was similar, and she thought she could still see Moppy's eyes. But right now, Big Green looked a little crazy, like he still wanted to bash.

She took a cautious step back, pushing Jane behind her. Big Green didn't like that, and took a gorilla hop forward, slamming his fists into the floor and roaring.

"Bruce! You don't want to do this!" Red called.

Big Green didn't even look at her. He hopped another step closer, and snarled, spittle flying from his lips.

Darcy whipped her taser out. "I tased Thor, so don't think I won't hesitate to lay your big green ass out on the floor!"

"Uh…probably not the best idea," Arms called.

Yeah, she saw that. Big Green looked like a rabid dog as he snarled again. Darcy could see Thor climbing to his feet, shaking his head, and didn't think he was close enough to help.

"Oh we're going to die," Jane hissed in her ear.

Big Green seemed to agree. He surged forward, and Darcy pulled the trigger on her taser. It brought the big guy to a halt. He stood there, shaking his head, and made a mewling noise that was quite unlike anything previously.

Darcy shook a finger at him. "I warned you," she said, proud that her voice trembled only a little.

"What the hell am I seeing?" Arms asked.

Darcy wasn't sure either. Big Green had cocked his head to one side, and made that strange mewling noise again. The taser was still hitting him, but it would lose its charge soon. She didn't know what was going to happen when it did, but right now, it seemed to be confusing the beast.

When he reached out toward her, Darcy was very proud that she didn't flinch. The taser dropped from her fingers, spent. It didn't change the way Big Green was looking at her. He touched her hair gently, with one finger, and made that mewling noise again.

"What is this?" Thor asked softly.

Stark flipped the face plate up and studied the scene. "I think she just gave Hulk his first sexual experience."

Oh yuck? Seriously? But then again, with the way Big Green was looking at her, maybe Stark was right.

"He might think you're his mother," Jane whispered from behind her.

Darcy stayed completely still as the big green finger stroked her hair, and then her face. No, Big Green wasn't looking at her like she was his mother. He was giving her a quizzical look that she thought would be more at home on Moppy's face.

When Apple Pie moved toward them, Big Green growled warningly. He didn't want to share with anyone else. Darcy wondered if they would all just stand there staring at each other, but then Big Green stepped forward and scooped her up in one very big green arm. She managed not to shriek, and tried to still her heart.

"Darcy?" Thor asked. His brow was creased in concern, but as soon as he shifted forward, Big Green growled again.

"I'm okay," she called, not really sure if she was. If Moppy was in there, somewhere, he had seemed fairly harmless, but she wasn't sure if he had any control. She was not hurt – tucked in against the big guy's chest, with his arm gently cradling her. He was warm, like a furnace, and the gentle wash of air every time he snorted wasn't unpleasant.

Stark was loving it, holding up a phone to record the whole scene. "I can't wait to show this to Banner! Hulk in looooovvvee," he sang in a very annoying singsong.

"Would you please shut up?" Darcy asked. She didn't really want to think about it. It was like a twisted version of King Kong or something. "What do we do now?"

"We need to get him to calm down," Thor said.

Stark snorted. "Yeah, you'd think. Hulk just had his first moment, so he should be about ready to crash and sleep."

"Please shut up," Darcy begged. Her mind did not want to go there.

Apparently Big Green didn't want to hear it either. He growled at Stark, looked around at the others, and tightened his arm possessively around Darcy. With another growl, he launched himself at the ceiling. Darcy did shriek then, but he hunched over her as they crashed through the roof and into the air.

* * *

Waking up on top of a naked Moppy was not how Darcy wanted to start her day.

Light behind her closed eyelids roused her. She pried her eyes open and blinked against the rising sun. Ugh. What had she been drinking? She'd had the strangest dreams of Thor and a big green beast that carried her away.

When she tried to sit up, her elbow dug into something soft that groaned. Darcy froze, blinked, and then really looked around. She was inside a barn, laying in a soft pile of hay. Laying on something that was alive.

When she finally had the nerve to look down, she had to admit to a little relief when she saw Moppy, and not the big green guy. Relief turned to more than a little freak out when she realized that Moppy was naked. There were a few shreds of clothing clinging to his waist and legs, but not enough to keep a blush from her cheeks. Hmm…Moppy had his own big proportions.

Thank god she was still fully clothed.

He groaned again, and opened his eyes, staring up at her in confusion. "Did he hurt you?"

Sweet. "Nope," Darcy answered. "I think we had a first date."

He squeezed his eyes closed. "He carried you off?"

"Yep. I think it was because you secretly liked me at first sight, but were too shy to say anything. So when you went all alpha male, it seemed only natural to grab me and make a getaway."

Moppy pressed a hand to his forehead. "Why are you sitting on me?"

This was too good to pass up. "I think we fell asleep together."

His eyes flew open and looked completely horror struck. "What? I…what did he do? I mean…what happened?"

"Relax. We had a moment. I think I gave him something else to think about other than smashing and roaring."

Moppy's groan wasn't reassuring. Darcy didn't want to freak him out any more, so she delicately moved some hay to cover up his…cough cough…big parts. Then she scooted off to one side.

"I'm Darcy," she introduced herself. "Thor never really got around to introducing any of us before the shit hit the fan."

"Bruce," Moppy grunted.

"Does it hurt? When you go big and green?"

"He doesn't feel anything, but I do, when I wake up. It's pain in every nerve." He squeezed his eyes shut again.

"I'm sorry. It's really impressive though."

He snorted. "Am I naked?"

Darcy winced. "Mostly. Sorry, I uh, couldn't help but notice that."

"Yeah, that usually happens. They're trying to find something that will survive the transition, but it hasn't happened yet. Thank you, for the hay."

It was so uncomfortably awkward that Darcy was relieved when thunder and lightning sprung up out of nowhere. Thor dropped through the hole in the barn roof moments later, followed by Iron Man.

"Darcy, are you hurt?"

"Nah." She waved reassuringly at Thor. "I'm good. Do you have any clothes? Bruce seems to have bulged right out of his."

Stark was carrying clothes. The look on his face, when his faceplate popped up, promised lots of harassment for Bruce. "Oh Banner," he chided, shaking his head. "Your alter ego had a great time last night. And look, he even went home with a girl!"

"Shut up, Tony."

Stark laughed obnoxiously, and tossed the clothes down into the hay. "A hay barn? Really? Isn't that a little old fashioned, making out in the hay barn."

"Really Tony, just shut up." Bruce sat up, pulling the clothes to him.

"I can't wait to tell Mom. This most recent development will be fascinating."

Darcy's eyebrows went up. "Mom? Who's Mom?"

"His name is Nick Fury. He brought us together." Stark grinned. "He'll love this."

Bruce groaned, and then waved at them dismissively. "Do you mind? I'd like some privacy."

Darcy accepted Thor's hand up, and moved away as soon as she was on her feet. Thor helpfully stood with his back to Moppy, blocking Darcy's view. Not that she hadn't seen enough already. Bruce looked pretty nice without clothes.

Stark clanked over to her. "So…did he rock your world?"

Darcy sighed. "Stop. Just stop, okay?" He really was an obnoxious jerk.

He shook his head. "You'll have to come with us for a debriefing."

She snorted. "As if that was ever in question. Jane isn't going to let Thor out of her sight, now that he's back."

Bruce stood up a little shakily, buttoning his shirt. He avoided looking at Darcy, which she thought was adorably cute. So, apparently, did Stark.

"Oh look! He's like a deflowered virgin. C'mon Banner, it's no big deal. Just because Hulk got off on a taser hit…"

That brought Bruce's eyes, widened comically, to Darcy's face. She bit her lip, and waved her fingertips at him. He looked back at Stark, then at Thor, who abruptly took an interest in the sky. "I don't want to know any more," he decided.

Stark opened his mouth, but shut it when Darcy slapped the back of his head. His big, shit-eating grin was bad enough.

Thor tilted his head to the side. "Ah. The others have finally caught up. Let us go."

Darcy followed him, aware of the little sidelong looks Bruce was throwing at her. He seemed fascinated, but was it more with her, or his alter ego's interest in her? Hmm…this could be something to explore. And since she went where Jane went right now, it seemed like she would have the opportunity.


	2. Chapter 2

Wow. I have never had such an overwhelming response to a story one-shot or beginning before. Um…thank you all! The reviews, the private messages, and the story alerts in hopes that I continue were just overwhelming. I was blown away. So…for all of you…the story continues! I hope you enjoy.

Please review! It helps me update faster.

* * *

Ugh. Darcy was never moving again. Ever. Considering she'd moved twice in the past week, and both times the moves were inter-continental, it was a little (lot) much.

On the bright side, this time, she and Jane had super powered help, so it was a lot easier. Thor, Apple Pie (whose name was Steve, she'd learned), and Iron Man did all the heavy lifting. Arms and Red (Clint and Natasha) supervised, which seemed to make the other three a little grumpy. Stark did not stop grumbling the whole time equipment was being loaded into the strange jet thing that the non-flying members had arrived in.

It was actually kind of funny that most of what needed relocated was equipment. Darcy didn't have a lot of variety in clothing (hello, the whole starving college intern thing, even though she had graduated), and Jane would wear the same thing every day if not reminded to shower and change clothes. Between the two of them, they had four boxes of personal belongings. That was a little pathetic.

Tony Stark thought the same thing, apparently. "You are going shopping when we hit New York," he told them. "This is sad."

Moppy (Bruce, she kept telling herself, or Dr. Banner as Apple Pie kept calling him), kept to himself during the entire packing/loading period. He was troubled by what had happened, but also intrigued? Darcy wasn't quite sure, but she did know when a guy was checking her out, and Moppy kept doing that. Quick glances and then he hastily looked away, but it wasn't long before his eyes wandered back to her. Okay, so maybe she'd changed into a really tight shirt with a Vneck that displayed the girls to their best advantage, but hey! A girl's gotta flaunt what she has in the face of overwhelming eye candy. And while the memory of a naked Bruce was still very vivid in her brain.

Being oogled by Stark and Arms was a bonus. Apple Pie took one look, flushed slightly, and resolutely did not look lower than her face. What a gentleman!

Still, even though Darcy wanted to give everyone equal opportunity to appreciate her assets, she could admit to herself that Bruce had suddenly become her focus. Who would have guessed that Moppy looked so nice under his clothes? She'd seen ropy thigh muscles and ridged abdominals. And other things. Whew! It was getting way too hot watching the super heroes work. Darcy fanned herself. If that pressed the girls together and made them stand up just a little bit more as Bruce walked by, well…hell yeah!

The fact that he noticed the girls as he walked by was a score for Darcy. She could tell by the widening eyes, and the almost-too-quick-to-be-seen 'I might want' expression. Then he frowned and looked away. Hmm…Moppy had issues, apparently. Well, anyone who turned into a giant green beast when threatened had issues, really.

When the packing and loading was finally completed, everyone stuffed themselves into the jet thingie. Darcy had been surprised how quickly it happened, but no sooner had they returned from tracking down her whereabouts in the morning than the guys had started loading equipment. It was common sense, she guessed. Jane wasn't about to let Thor out of her sight now that he'd returned, and Thor certainly wasn't going to let Jane stay out in the middle of nowhere where she would be vulnerable.

The jet ride was…unsettling. While Jane and Thor were glued to each other, everyone else took turns staring at Darcy. Except for Arms and Red, since they were flying the jet thingie. Stark was the worst. He didn't say a word, but he stared with a knowing smirk that was going to push her over the edge. Occasionally, he would break off staring at her to look at Bruce. Then he would turn back to her with an even bigger shit-eating smirk.

Bruce was not unaware of Stark's preoccupation, Darcy noticed out of the corner of her eyes. He ignored Tony's stares until the shit-eating smirk threatened to break out and bitch-slap everyone on board. Then he turned to Tony with an exasperated expression.

"Stop it Tony. Just leave it alone."

Stark had the worst 'who me?' face ever. He looked around trying to get sympathy from anyone else on board, and sighed when it was clear he wouldn't. "We had so much more fun during the alien invasion."

"What is wrong with you?" Apple Pie demanded.

"Me? Oh, I may have had a few 5-hour energy shots before we started loading the jet," Stark replied in a jittery voice. "That or maybe I watched Hulk _fall in love_ with a taser-wielding teenager."

Darcy thought Bruce was going to swallow his tongue and start foaming at the mouth.

Ignoring his strangled noises and impossibly wide eyes, she glared daggers at Stark. "I'm a college graduate, not a teenager, dickwad." She gestured to Bruce. "Is it your life's goal to antagonize him until he goes green, or what?"

Stark grinned. "Nah. He's a friend. If you can't jibe at your friends, who can you jibe at?"

"Why is he friends with you?" Darcy turned to Bruce. "Bruce – why are you friends with Tony Stark? He might just be the most obnoxious person on the planet."

Moppy took a moment, eyes closed, breathing deeply. Then he opened his eyes to meet Darcy's question head on. "It does seem unlikely, doesn't it? But honestly? He helps keep the Other Guy from accidentally breaking out too often."

Darcy shook her hands in a negating wave. "Wait wait wait. I know I didn't hear that right. Tony Stark helps keep Big Green from breaking out? How is that possible?"

"Built up tolerance," Stark replied smugly. "I've increased Banner's tolerance level for irritation and anger."

Oh. That totally made sense in a twisted sort of way.

Moppy wasn't done though. He ran a hand through his hair, making it even more unkept, and cast a tentative look at the billionaire. "He's also been the biggest push for me to accept myself…all of myself…and do more with what I have. Control it, instead of letting it control me."

Everyone not flying the jet thingie looked to Tony Stark for his reaction. Darcy had to bite back a smile. Stark looked vastly uncomfortable being praised, running a hand through his short hair.

"Hey – we were facing an alien invasion!" he protested. "We needed everyone. We didn't have time for Bruce to feel sorry for himself!"

Bruce's wry smile told Darcy that may have been partially true, but not the main reason that Stark had stepped in. He ducked his head a little, trying to hide that smile so that Tony wouldn't see. That was completely adorable.

Apple Pie's sigh was huge. He seemed to the tentative leader of their little group and Darcy didn't envy him at all. Just trying to keep Stark under control….add in Moppy with his particular gift, Thor – used to being a prince, and the other two, who seemed rather dangerous…she felt a little bad for him.

He caught her looking, and offered a small smile. "You've done very well under some strange circumstances."

Darcy shrugged. "Meh…after you've tased the God of Thunder, being kidnapped by a lovestruck big green guy is just par for the course, you know?"

Stark perked up. "You tased Thor?" He looked like an eager puppy, all wide eyed exuberance.

"Knocked him right on his ass," Darcy said proudly. She lifted a smirk to the sky.

Thor briefly pulled his mouth away from Jane's. He looked vaguely offended. "I was mortal at the time, Darcy, so it was hardly a feat worth boasting about."

Darcy patted her bag, with the trusty taser tucked inside. "Care to try your luck again, Thor?"

The God of Thunder seemed to be considering it very carefully. His mouth opened, and Darcy just knew he was going to accept the challenge. But then his eyes strayed to Bruce thoughtfully, no doubt picturing the moment when Hulk was tamed. He tapped Mjolnir's handle reassuringly a few times, and then looked down at Jane. Finally, he glanced back up at Darcy.

"I need not test my strength against your portable lightning device," he said loftily.

Darcy snorted. "Oh Thor…you are such a McNugget."

Tony Stark giggled as he got her meaning. Giggled. He was one of the smartest and richest people on the planet, and he was giggling like a girl. Shit…she made Tony Stark giggle like a girl!

Apple Pie didn't get it, and neither did Bruce. Thor only knew that he'd been insulted, and he waved a dismissive hand in Darcy's direction. Stark apparently couldn't stand that no one else got it, and he leaned over to whisper to Bruce, and then Steve. They both chuckled, and Darcy preened a little, puffing the girls out. Yeah, she had the metaphorical balls to call Thor a chicken.

Apple Pie's smile became a little more genuine as he looked from Darcy to Thor, who had gone back to sucking face with Jane, and then back to Darcy. Even Bruce seemed to be fighting a smile at the thought of her tasing Thor. But his eyes seemed to be measuring Thor against her size.

"You always tase guys that much bigger than you?" he asked, reaching up to adjust his glasses.

Darcy shrugged. "I keep running into guys that much bigger than me, so they make themselves easy targets." She bit her lip in contemplation. "So, Bruce…if I tased you as Bruce, would you go Big Green on us?"

His eyebrows shot up. "Probably. It's not an experiment that I'm willing to perform."

Darcy propped her chin in her hand, staring him down. He really was adorable. The moppy hair, the dark stubble, the cute little twist to his lower lip, and even the silver dusting in his hair. Then her sex-starved brain went where it shouldn't have gone. Thigh muscles. Chest hair! Abs. Other appendages. (What? Being involved with a secret government agency, even peripherally, had put a serious damper on her love life.)

Darcy could feel the blush down to the backs of her knees. Moppy, watching her turn scarlet as she stared at him with her lip tucked between her teeth, seemed to figure out what she was thinking, and he started turning red too, but couldn't look away.

"Debrief," he finally muttered, still staring. "S.H.I.E.L.D will want to debrief you."

Darcy couldn't help it, grin stretching across her red face. "Are you offering to help with that, Dr. Banner? You seem to have a quite a bit of experience in debriefing."

Stark just howled at that, while Bruce went beet red. "Uh…I'm just a scientist," he stammered. "I don't do the debriefings…er…um…I just do the science stuff," he finished lamely.

Darcy, blush finally receding, smiled widely. "Oh, there could be lots of science stuff involved. Experiments and all. Do you like to experiment, Bruce?"

His awkward chuckle and the way he worried at the inside of his lip with his teeth were enough to make Darcy's day. He didn't make eye contact often, she noticed. His eyes usually focused off to the side and down. Too much potential to unleash the green guy if he met other people head on? Except Tony. Bruce had no trouble looking Tony in the eye. It was very strange, watching their interactions. Despite his incessant yammering and jibing, Tony had a deep level of respect for Bruce. Likewise, Bruce respected Tony despite all of his shortcomings.

Darcy was fascinated. She sat back in the uncomfortable bench seat and stared, twirling a lock of hair absently. Yeah…Moppy had the potential to be a complete distraction for her.

* * *

He was waiting for them when they landed. Darcy followed Apple Pie docilely as they exited the jet thingie. Bruce was hiding, keeping every body that he could between himself and her, and Darcy didn't realize that someone was waiting for them until she almost walked into him. Okay, so she'd totally been rubbernecking, trying to find Bruce. But he was hiding well, and Darcy had just sighed in frustration and that's when the leather coat appeared in front of her.

He was tall, she discovered when she looked up. And a little intimidating. But he wore the leather trench coat well, and everyone seemed to defer to him. This must be Mom.

"Stark! Banner! You're with me for the debriefing." His tone softened considerably as he looked down at Darcy. "Miss Lewis – you as well."

Nick Fury was a little scary. The whole eye patch thing. Darcy kept expecting him to growl "Argh" and reveal his peg leg. She was sure he had one. She couldn't figure out which leg it was though. They both looked similar in size, and he seemed to be able to move equally well off of either one. So she found herself staring at his legs as he walked in front of her.

Of course, Nick Fury being a spy and all, knew when someone was staring at him. "Is there a problem, Miss Lewis?" he finally asked, turning his head.

Darcy's eyes snapped up to meet his in total mortification. She was dimly aware of Stark's snicker to her left but she was transfixed by the one eye. "Which one is your peg leg?" she asked. "Right or left?"

The choked noise from Banner's throat made Fury's mouth twitch up, like he wanted to grin, but he didn't. He just stared down at Darcy. "They both are," he finally answered. "And I've stuck them through lesser people. Stop staring now?"

"Okay." Darcy bobbed her head, feeling really lucky she wasn't walking the proverbial plank.

Being debriefed by Nick Fury was not fun. Especially not when Tony Stark was on one side of her, telling an R(or maybe X)-rated version of what had happened, and Bruce was on the other side, head resting on his arms, probably wishing he had skipped this adventure.

"Tony…" Bruce's voice was muffled and weary, but he didn't look up. "The Other Guy did not have a boner."

Darcy clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles. Stark cast a quick at her, flashed her a rakish grin, and then looked back at Fury. "Hulk totally had a boner for her. He kept making little love noises at her. Then he grabbed her and took off. We found them in a hay barn the next morning." He dropped a wink at Darcy. "Banner was naked."

Fury wasn't about to be sucked in by Stark's colorful account. "He's always naked after he Hulks, Stark. That doesn't mean anything. Look at the girl. Dark hair, bluish/green eyes…she's similar enough to Betty Ross that Hulk saw it. That's why he took off with her."

Banner raised his head to stare at Fury while Darcy felt her stomach plummet. Betty Ross? Girlfriend? Wife? Of course. Figures.

"She might have a slight resemblance to Betty," Bruce said slowly to Fury. "But she's got a style all her own, and the Other Guy would never think she was Betty. Betty would never shoot the Other Guy with a taser." The corner of his mouth curled up into a smile. "Or call the God of Thunder a chicken. She's…spunky."

Fury's one eye widened and he turned to look at Darcy. She shrugged. "What? Thor's my buddy. If you can't jibe at your buddies…"

Stark snorted laughter so hard that Darcy hoped there were no boogers flying. He pushed his chair back and stood, clapping Bruce on the shoulder. "She's a keeper, Banner. You can't go wrong, cuz Hulk already adores her. Nick…I'm done taking my briefs off for the day. Although, if you leave the room, maybe Bruce can debrief Kick-Ass a little more. I think they'd both enjoy that."

Darcy threw her water bottle at him as Stark scooted out of the debriefing room. She was blushing again, and Nick Fury's speculative, raised eyebrow perusal wasn't helping.

"Don't even think about it, Dread Pirate Roberts," she warned, shaking a cautionary finger at him. "If Moppy here is gonna debrief me, it'll be because we both want him to." She was elated yet full of trepidation. The whole Betty thing had her upset, but Bruce's comments afterward…yeah. Was it completely sad that that was the nicest thing a guy had ever said to her? She turned her head to look at Bruce. "And I'm game, but no audience. 'Specially not the pervs around here."

"Moppy?" Bruce protested softly. He didn't even seem to have processed the rest of what she'd said.

Darcy grinned at him, reaching across the table to run a hand through his fluffy hair. "It's your hair," she admitted. "It gives you this rumpled, absent-minded scientist look. Totally adorable, by the way."

"Uh…" Stroke.

"And it stays the same when you go Big Green. You still have this adorably moppy head of hair."

"Um…" Fluff.

Once started, her fingers could not stop their dance through his hair. Darcy knew this was probably one of her poorest choices in crushing out, ever, but she couldn't help it. He was so off balance right now, mouth open slightly, eyes darting back and forth, but SCORE! He was leaning forward, into her hair fluffing.

The loud clearing of a throat had her pulling back suddenly. Darcy chanced a look at Fury, and he looked…resigned.

"We just saved the world from an alien invasion. I don't need this right now. Absolutely no funny business between the two of you, or the Hulk! Any questions?"

Darcy thought about it. "What do I do now?

"Stick around. Have Stark find you a place to live for awhile. I get the feeling that our chances of keeping the Hulk from breaking out and wandering off will be much greater if we keep you close." Fury rose to his feet, glaring down at them. "No funny business, right?"

Banner's head nodded slowly, so Darcy had little choice but to follow his lead. For now. She had the feeling that life was going to get very interesting.

* * *

So, I admit that I have a habit of being swayed by my reviewers. My Blame it on the Vodka story (Darcy/Loki) started out as a very short one-shot and is now at 30 Chapters and three related one-shots. So thanks to all of you for pushing me to continue something that I would have left alone. I really like the Darcy/Bruce/Hulk dynamic, and this story is just hilarious to write.


	3. Chapter 3

Finally! Sorry for the long wait between updates, but I had to move, and deal with a structural integrity problem in my back after moving, etc, etc. Thank you so much to everyone that has reviewed this story so far. I'm blown away by the love. I hope I can continue to live up to it! 80 reviews on only two chapters. Wow!

* * *

Bruce had accepted Tony's Stark's offer to move into Stark Tower. He'd be stupid if he didn't, because he had nowhere to go. And somehow, Stark had burrowed his way past all the shields that Bruce had erected to protect others from the Other Guy. Tony Stark was abrasive, reckless, and very trying, but he accepted every part of Bruce Banner and for the first time, Bruce thought he might be able to start accepting himself.

It helped that the Other Guy completely adored Tony, which was the strangest thing in the world to Bruce. Maybe it was because Tony wanted Bruce to let the Other Guy out, when needed. Maybe it was because the Other Guy could sense the potential for mayhem and destruction within Tony Stark. Whatever the reason, Stark had nothing to fear from the Other Guy. Still, inviting the barely contained monster into your living space took balls of steel. Or rather – balls of iron.

Pepper Potts, bless her generous soul, didn't even blink when Tony told her the Hulk was moving in. She had seen the footage of Iron Man falling from the sky, and Hulk grabbing him before he became scrap metal. "He saved your life, Tony," she said warmly. "He can wreck whatever he wants to." She had, without apparent reservation, then thrown her arms around Bruce and thanked him profusely.

Bruce loved her a little bit for that. Not everyone was so understanding and forgiving of the Other Guy. Most people flinched when they found out what he became. They certainly were not brave enough to hug him. That was probably why he felt such a strong kinship with his new teammates. They didn't flinch. They hugged, and slapped his shoulders in camaraderie. They appreciated what he could do. For the first time since the Other Guy happened, Bruce felt like he could belong somewhere.

His possessions, rescued from the S.H.I.E.L.D helicarrier, fit into two small travel bags. Why bother with owning things when you sometimes turned into a giant green monster that had a tendency to abandon your current residence? Once that happened, there was no point in going back.

Tony had rolled his eyes when he saw the bags. "Pepper will take you shopping later," he told Bruce.

"Um…I don't really need anything. I'm just really grateful for the place to live."

The look Stark turned on him had probably quelled greater men. "If your entire life fits into two bags, there's a problem with that. Pepper will get you set up with some sharp clothes. Make sure you splurge on stuff that is completely unnecessary." His mouth twitched up in a wry grin. "Go Pretty Woman on me, Bruce. I dare you."

It had startled him into a laugh that Bruce quickly brought under control. "Do you want me to buy sundresses and floppy hats?"

Tony had snorted laughter. "That's up to Pepper. Just don't wear your vinyl knee-high boots in the lab. It's a safety hazard."

How long had it been since he had been able to joke around with people like that? It helped fill an empty space within that Bruce assumed would always be empty.

Everyone had scattered when Thor took his crazy, subdued brother back to Asgard. Bruce went with Tony, Steve took off on his own, and Natasha had gone off with the archer, Barton. Bruce didn't have to be a genius to figure out that those two needed some serious alone time after Barton was pulled back from under Loki's influence. It might have depressed him, being the lone fifth wheel in a couple's environment, but Steve gave no indication of having anyone special either, so Bruce didn't feel quite as isolated.

No one expected Thor to return after only a couple of days. The team had reconvened at Stark Tower, mostly to get away from all the media that was hounding them. Even Barton and Natasha were being hounded by fans. The Avengers had become very popular, very fast, and had their own slightly scary fan base. Bruce knew that people could become crazy scary obsessed with something, but being a focus of that was unnerving.

When thunder and lightning broke out over the tower, there was instant worry that Loki had somehow escaped, but the blond god reassured them that was not the case, once he landed. He had returned so that he could see his love, astrophysicist Jane Foster. Agent Coulson, before his death, had indicated that Jane had been moved to a secure location to keep her safe, but Thor wanted to ensure that his fellow teammates were well before he went after Jane.

Barton came to life suddenly. "Tromso!" he barked. "Holy shit, Jane Foster is your girl?"

Thor beamed at him. "Yes. She is an amazing woman. Have you met her?"

Tony and Natasha both snickered, and then blinked in confusion at each other that they might actually have something in common. Barton looked like a stranded fish, eyes wide and mouth gaping for a moment.

"In what universe do I look like I'd be familiar with science types?" he asked. "Never mind! Your brother was sending five goons to 'collect' Jane Foster. He had a very unpleasant look on his face at the very thought of it."

Bruce was very glad that Thor did not have a Hulk within him. The thunder god's expression darkened, along with the sky, and for a second it looked like he was going to lose control, hand clenching his hammer very tightly. Bruce could still feel the ache in his jaw where that hammer had connected with the Other Guy's chin. The hammer was a force to be reckoned with. He felt a little sorry for the person or persons who had been sent after Jane Foster

There was a mad flurry of activity that resulted in the newly formed band of heroes bundling themselves into one of the S.H.I.E.L.D harrier jets. Bruce didn't really think it was a good idea for him to be involved in this, but Tony Stark hadn't given him the opportunity to refuse.

The tiny remote little observatory in Norway was peaceful when they landed. Thor was almost bursting out of his skin as he threw open the door, and peered about, trying to locate his love. It really wasn't very hard, since it was a small place. There were two women in the lab area. The astrophysicist was easy to identify, since she was clutching rolled up spreadsheets and beaming widely at Thor's arrival.

Bruce was really surprised that Thor had fallen for Jane Foster. The woman was all bony sharp angles, skin stretched too tight over her frame. One flick of a finger from the Other Guy would probably shatter the woman into a million brittle pieces. It seemed wrong for Thor's chosen woman to be that fragile.

The other woman, introduced only as 'Darcy', seemed more Thor's type – all foolhardy brashness and lush curves. She was a bit younger than Foster, and definitely did not seem to be a science type. Bruce wondered what she was doing there.

She was amusing when Stark, mouth running full tilt as always, mentioned the New York battle. Her pouty lips fell open in an O of surprise as she admitted that they knew nothing about it. It made sense that the women hadn't heard of the battle due to their relocation, but it was funny nonetheless. The Avengers were swiftly turning into media icons, and neither woman had any information about them.

Bruce poked around the makeshift lab that had been set up. Despite Dr. Foster's fragility, the woman appeared to have built most of her own equipment, from what he could tell. Tony joined him, and instantly began improving things in his head. Bruce just let him babble on – the specifics of engineering machines was a bit beyond him, especially the way Tony built things. The man's mind did not function at a normal level.

The quick tour around the lab served another purpose though, as Stark called an all clear, after casually insulting Barton. The archer frowned at him, and ducked outside with Romanoff to 'check the perimeter.' Bruce figured maybe they just wanted some alone time. The archer was brave. Bruce had seen what Romanoff could do to a man.

He wanted to chat with Dr. Foster, but her face was stuck on Thor's, which was a little sickening to watch. Bruce didn't care about PDAs, but this went a little beyond the normal. Sure, they had been separated for a year or so, but still…

"Revolting, isn't it?" Stark whispered in his ear.

Bruce nodded and turned his head to whisper back. "He's a god. He could have any woman he wanted and he chooses her? If she gets cranked any tighter her skin will split."

Tony Stark blinked at him, and then laughed. "Not what I meant, Banner, but I appreciate it anyhow. Who knew you were catty?"

Bruce raised an eyebrow, inviting him to explain, but the calm shattered as Barton and Romanoff burst back inside.

"Suit up!" Barton barked. "They're coming!"

Oh hell.

Bruce didn't move as everyone morphed into their heroic selves. There wasn't a lot of room in the lab area, and there were two women who could be seriously hurt if he let the Other Guy out to play. Loki might have gone down relatively easily, but Bruce didn't think Thor would fold that quickly if Jane Foster got hurt by the big green guy.

He felt eyes on him, and turned to see the younger woman, Darcy, staring hard at him. Expectantly. Oh. Bruce shrugged and shared his intentions to sit out this fight. The Other Guy in close quarters was a very bad idea.

His teammates herded the women into the center of a protective circle, and Bruce joined them, ignoring Stark's annoyed huff as he walked past Iron Man. Did Tony really want the Other Guy loose in such a tight area? Just because the big green guy favored Iron Man didn't mean that everyone else would be safe.

Barton had said a team of five had been dispatched. There were a lot more than five men spilling into the lab. Ah well, more for his teammates to take down then, even if Tony did sound a little put out about it.

Close quarter fighting wasn't really the best kind for Thor and Iron Man, Bruce noted clinically. Thor needed more space to unleash his hammer, and Iron Man had to be very careful of his weapons in such tight quarters. It was a new style of fighting for both men, Bruce figured, and neither one was very comfortable. He imagined that learning to fight within a team would continue to be a challenge for Tony Stark.

Things were looking good when an attacker somehow evaded one of Barton's arrows, which should have been impossible because the man was insanely good with his bow. Still, the bad guy ducked out of the way, and then rolled through the protective circle, coming to his feet way too close to the women for Bruce's peace of mind.

He had a gun, Bruce noted, as all of his nerve endings clanged with the need to unleash the Other Guy. The gun was pointed right at the face of the younger woman, she of the lush curves. She was frozen in place, staring with wide eyes right into the barrel of the gun.

Bruce wouldn't consider himself a chivalrous kind of guy, for obvious reasons, but there was no way he could let the poor girl continue to be threatened or possibly shot when he could prevent it. So he stepped in between the girl and the gun, and pocketed his glasses. He wasn't very intimidating as himself, he knew, but he still tried to dissuade the attacker.

That wasn't happening, and when Barton swiveled to aim for the man again, the guy panicked and pulled the trigger. Bruce's world went green.

It was always extremely disorientating to wake after the Other Guy was unleashed. Bruce never knew where he was, or what the Other Guy had done. Sometimes were worse than others, and this appeared to be one of those times. Even before his eyes opened, Bruce was lost. He could smell hay and feel sunshine on his face. There was something pinning him down.

An elbow pushed into his midsection, causing him to groan in protest, eyes finally prying themselves open. The girl from the lab, Darcy?, was sprawled on top of him, looking down with wide eyes. The memories of what had happened were fragmented and just beyond the reach of Bruce's mental fingers, but one thought rose above all others.

"Did he hurt you?"

Her expression changed, melting into something a little sweet, with a touch of sympathy. "Nope," she assured. "I think we had a first date."

"He carried you off?" Bruce asked in dismay. He barely listened as she replied in the affirmative and speculated as to why it had happened. Why were they in a pile of hay?

"Why are you sitting on me?" he asked when she stopped talking to breathe.

The girl winked. "I think we fell asleep together."

What? Bruce's eyes snapped open to look at her. Not possible. Hulk did not have...those…types of thoughts about others. He just didn't. So there was no way what he feared could have happened. Right?

Darcy hastened to assure him, and delicately covered up some of his more prominent features with hay. That put her right up there with Pepper Potts on Bruce's list of awesome women. Not even the awkward conversation that followed could bring her down.

When lightning and thunder darkened the sky, Bruce knew the shit had hit the fan. Thor was going to kill him for this, he was sure.

But the Norse god surprised him, checking with Darcy to be sure she was okay, and then watching with careful eyes. Yet another sign of acceptance that Bruce wouldn't have expected.

He did expect, and was treated to, Tony Stark's relentless teasing on the trip back. It did get a little old, but as he explained to Darcy on the trip back to the States, Tony had been something he had desperately needed. The friendship, the harassment, it all meant the world to him and it helped him feel more in control. After all, if he could put up with Tony Stark's constant aggravation…

Bruce had, in bits and pieces, gotten the story of what happened after the Other Guy appeared. He'd finished off the attackers and then tossed Thor and the captain around. Then he'd gone after the women, and Darcy had tased him. Apparently, being tased was a different experience for the Hulk. If Tony's somewhat slanted account was accurate, the Other Guy had been instantly infatuated with the girl after it happened. He'd grabbed her and carried her off.

Bruce couldn't fault the Other Guy's taste. Not at all. She was lovely. Those curves had a strange effect on his brain, shutting down some of his higher functions. And that generous bosom! You didn't see it much nowadays. It was more common to see Jane Foster's type. Skin stretched too tight over bones and not enough fat left over for boobs.

He had almost fallen on his face when she emerged from a quick shower wearing a tight Vneck that showcased her assets. Then he wanted to slap himself in the back of the head. What was he thinking? He was way too old to be looking at the girl like that. To even be thinking the things his salivating brain was allowing him to think.

But no matter how many times he looked away, his eyes wandered back.

Tony noticed. Of course Tony noticed. He was relentless like that and could never shut up. It was a little bit scary to hear Darcy having her own stream of conscious verbal vomiting that so closely matched Tony's. So they babbled at each other while Bruce tried to look elsewhere and think thoughts that didn't involve him being a lecherous old man.

The suggestions that the Other Guy had been turned on by being tased were a bit much, especially when aired in front of Fury during the mandatory debriefing. Bruce by now had a pounding headache, and was hiding his face from the light as Fury continued his interrogation.

Fury's suggestion that the Other Guy had snatched Darcy because of her resemblance to Betty Ross brought Bruce's head up from his arms. He had to defend Darcy. She was way too spunky to ever be mistaken for Betty Ross and he didn't want her thinking that she had been a pale substitution of someone else. He liked her because of who she was, not because of who she might vaguely resemble.

That thought gave him pause. He liked her. Not just the Other Guy. Bruce liked her for her spunk and her fire. And….he was being a lecherous old man again. It didn't help when Tony suggested debriefing between the two of them. The look Darcy turned on him was…not the way a young woman should look at an older man. Especially one who had breathtaking anger management issues.

Then she said something snarky to Fury that pulled his mouth into a reluctant grin, and had him frowning in the next second. She called him Moppy? Apparently she had a hair fetish, after explaining why he'd earned that particular nickname. Bruce wouldn't deny that he totally enjoyed her hands in his hair. He leaned into her petting, wondering if this was what the Other Guy had felt like when he'd been tased. At peace.

Of course, Nick Fury chose to remind them of his presence, and admonished them to keep funny business out of it. That was the wisest choice, of course, and Bruce nodded in compliance. His heart dropped a little when he saw Darcy's head follow his lead. Hope had briefly flared within him, but that was just a foolish dream. Beautiful young women were smart enough to go after someone their own age. Someone safer. Someone without all the issues.

As soon as the door shut behind Fury, Bruce had an unexpected lapful of Darcy. He was pretty sure his face looked like someone had clubbed him in the back of the head, and didn't know what to do with his arms, so he left them down by his sides. Safer that way.

The debriefing room door popped open again, and Fury stuck his head in. "What did I say? No funny business!"

Darcy's laugh was like the tinkling of wind chimes as she looped her arms around a stunned Bruce's neck. "No funny business going on here, Dread Pirate Roberts. Just getting to know Bruce a little bit better. After all, his big, green, alter-ego carried me off into the night, so it would be the smart thing to do to learn more about the man within the beast, right?"

Fury frowned at her. "I don't trust you, Miss Lewis. You're flighty, and based on what happened in New Mexico, you don't have the best sense of self preservation. You sitting in Dr. Banner's lap just reinforces that belief."

Bruce's brain wasn't really functioning, but he could still appreciate Darcy's response. "Are you kidding? The more Dr. Banner likes me, the better chance I have of Big Green looking out for my well being!"

Nick Fury's one eyebrow arched in question. "How exactly do you figure that?"

The girl on Bruce's lap snorted and tilted her head to one side, to rest on his shoulder. "Did you see what happened in the battle? Iron Man was falling from the sky. Big Green saved him. Why? Because Moppy here adores Tony Stark for some weird reason. Enough so that Big Green wasn't about to let him get pancaked."

"Moppy again?" Bruce asked faintly. He was afraid to move. Afraid that if he did, the girl would run away screaming, or…something else.

Nick Fury's lips twitched in something that might have become a smile on someone else. "Hmm…Dr. Banner – I trust you at least will keep your head about you." He didn't wait for a response, but drew his head back and allowed the door to close.

Darcy grinned up at him. "So, doc, tell the truth…are you always the responsible one? I'm sensing that vibe from you. A wet blanket thing."

She was so young. She really shouldn't be sitting on his lap. Bruce continued to feel like some type of lecherous Santa. He stared at the floor thoughtfully. It was safer than meeting her eyes. He didn't look people in the eye too often. Eyes were windows to the soul, and he didn't want people seeing into his. Seeing his internal damage...

Snapping fingers in his line of sight brought Bruce's gaze up to the laughing girl still sitting on his lap.

"You know Dr. Moppy, usually most male eyes around me are focused on my girls," she said. "I think you're the first to stare at the ground instead. It's okay if you want to look." She tapped him on the nose. "Cuz it's not like I didn't look when I woke up on top of you."

Bruce was proud that he didn't swallow his tongue, staring helplessly into Darcy's shining blue eyes. His brain couldn't even formulate a thought. She was rather shamelessly admitting that she had snuck a peek at his post-Other Guy nudity, while inviting him to look at her chest?

"You're very dangerous," he finally whispered, tearing his eyes away. "You can't possibly be good for my continued mental health and stability."

Darcy slid off his lap, with a fond ruffle to his hair. "You're friends with Tony Stark, Bruce. So don't look at me and think that _I_ am the one who threatens your mental health."

He watched her practically sashay out of the debriefing room, pausing at the threshold to throw a saucy look over her shoulder. "And that offer of it being okay to stare at my girls? That's always open, Dr. Banner."

He was still sitting in something close to shock in the debriefing room when Tony came to find him an hour later.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for the long wait between updates! I had emergency back surgery, and had to recover from that. I couldn't sit for long periods while the incision healed, and I can't type while lying on my side. On the bright side – the pain is almost gone and I can walk upright!

Wow…the reviews for this already! I'm feeling the love! I'll try to update more frequently.

Please let me know what you think!

* * *

Darcy sought out Jane after leaving poor Bruce reeling in the debriefing room. Her friend was in a hallway, pacing nervously. Apparently, Thor was also in a debriefing regarding what had happened with his insane little brother. At least their lips weren't glued together at the moment.

She plopped down in a chair near where Jane was wearing a track into the tiled floor. "Foster, stop pacing. Your blond hunk'o'god is back. What's the problem?"

Jane stopped pacing to look at her. "It was a little intimidating to watch the fight up close like that," she admitted.

Darcy blinked. "Uh, hello, Jane? Remember the big badass metal robot in New Mexico? You ran toward it, remember?"

Jane shook herself. "Well, yes, but this was different. This wasn't running into danger when the robot had turned around and walked away. You had a gun pointed at your face, Darcy! I don't know that I can handle that all the time."

Darcy sighed. "Jane…it was just bad mojo that had us in the middle of that. Normally, we'll be safe, and watching the action on the TV."

Jane harrumphed and resumed pacing. "You were kidnapped by a giant green monster, Darcy. Who was coming at us like he wanted to smash us before you tased him."

Darcy grinned. "Nah. He's a cream puff. No worries there. Besides, I got to see him naked when he powered down. Yummy. I wouldn't have expected that type of body from a scientist."

Jane stopped pacing again and stared at her with that look. That 'Darcy, you're insane and I don't know why I put up with you' look. She was flushing bright red. "Dr. Banner is a colleague in the scientific community, Darcy. Please don't say things like that about him."

Darcy stuck her tongue out. "Fine. Just chill, okay? We're fine, we're back in the US, and you've got hunk'o'loving back. What's really bugging you?"

"Thor asked me to live here, with him," her friend blurted out finally.

Hmmm…Darcy didn't here a problem there. "So why is that bugging you?" she asked curiously. "I mean, that's…wow!"

Jane did not look like it was wow to her. "I'll be around this craziness all the time then. I don't know if that's something I'm ready for."

"Are you out of your mind?" Darcy almost shouted. "Did you see these people? And their ridiculous bodies? Not to mention Tony Stark's money. Jane. C'mon! It's okay to live the high life. Really."

Jane's smile was a little shaky. "You don't think it would be compromising my scientific integrity?"

"Dr. Nice Body is here, isn't he? Do you think HE is compromising his scientific integrity?"

Jane's smile was now forced. "I think that he isn't really the example I want to look to."

Darcy drew back as if slapped. Bruce was the sweetest guy! How could Jane totally dis him like that? But all Jane could see right now was Big Green, and he had been a little bit scary, at first. "You'll grow to like him, Jane. He's an awesome guy."

Her friend didn't seem convinced and resumed pacing. Darcy just watched, and that's where Tony Stark found them. The millionaire swept into their space as if he had every right to do so.

"C'mon ladies. We're heading out for the Tower now. Thor is on his way, Dr. Foster. I took the liberty of having rooms prepared for both of you."

Darcy's head was spinning. "Huh?"

Stark shook his head. "Stop imagining Bruce naked, Lewis, and listen to what I am saying. We are going to the Tower. You and Foster have rooms there. I told Pepper to buy you both stuff, since you didn't seem to have much." He grinned rakishly. "It'll be fun, and even out the gender field a little."

While it had been fairly easy to picture Jane falling in with this lot of crazy, amazing people, Darcy had no illusions about her own life. If Jane's work was moving to New York, then Darcy was moving home, because there was no way she could afford to live in or near New York City. But Tony Stark was standing in front of her, grinning like a snarky asshole at her flummoxed expression, having just told her that she had a room in Stark Tower.

_The_ Stark Tower.

The large, phallic symbol of one of the most complex people on the planet.

_She_ had a room in Stark Tower.

_She_.

_Darcy Lewis._

Darcy Lewis had a room in Stark Tower.

What the hell?

It took a little while to sink in. Darcy blinked a few times, and finally looked up at Tony. "Um, thanks and all, but why do _I_have a room too?"

Stark snickered. "Are you kidding? You, with your naughty eyes and wicked curves, will be the greatest test to Banner's self control. I totally want to see his reaction when you chase after him." He leaned forward, eyes darting to either side like a conspirator. "Bruce is a martyr type, you know. No happiness for Dr. Banner because he turns into a wicked monster." He straightened. "You're just the person to bring him to his knees and back into the world."

Darcy's answering smile was slow and oh so evil. "I'll think we'll get along just fine, Mr. Stark."

"Call me Tony. You get ready to go, and I'll go see how many brain cells Bruce lost after your post-debriefing offer." He winked. "Is your offer open for anyone?"

He dodged out of reach of Darcy's swat and hurried down the hall toward the debriefing room.

* * *

Stark Tower was awesome.

Hearing about it, and seeing it on TV, the internet, etc, did not prepare one for the awesomeness that was Stark Tower. When Darcy first saw it in front of her, she knew her mouth dropped open because holy shit, that was an amazing looking building. Well, except for all the damage at the top. Then she frowned. It didn't say STARK at the top, like it was supposed to. The only thing left was an A. So it really couldn't be Stark tower anymore, could it?

Since the Avengers (that's what they called themselves, Stark had confessed) were moving into the building, and there was only a big A on the top of the building, it was now Avengers Tower. At least in Darcy's mind. She'd convert the others eventually.

She couldn't believe she was going to be living in Avengers Tower. With Tony Freaking Stark, aka Iron Man, and Steve Apple Pie Rogers who was also Captain Freaking America (apparently, S.H.I.E.L.D kept superheroes on ice now, to be thawed out as needed). Also living in the Tower? Thor, the Norse God of Thunder, who was really an alien prince from another realm (and who was also probably going to be taking care of Jane's undersexed issue in a big way), and the delicious and adorable Dr. Bruce Banner, who took anger issues to the extreme. Plus, a pair of secret government agency assassins who could probably kill with a glance. Arms and Red were a little scary.

Darcy still couldn't quite figure out why she was included in this madness, other than Tony Stark's very twisted sense of humor.

The expression on Bruce Banner's face, when she stepped out of the car behind the one he had ridden in, was absolutely priceless. His mouth dropped open, he blinked several times, and then turned to glare accusingly at Tony Stark. The billionaire was unrepentant as always, and swept over to take Darcy and Jane by the arm.

"Ladies, I can't tell you how nice it will be to have you here. Let me show you my humble abode."

As Darcy sauntered past the open mouthed Dr. Moppy, she winked at him. "Heya Bruce. Guess we'll be seeing more of each other now, huh?"

He was mumbling something incoherent that sounded like a threat to Tony Stark's well being. Tony just laughed and drew Darcy and Jane with him into the Tower.

The building was huge, and new, and amazing. Darcy was literally rubbernecking in complete wonder like a tourist. Tony was obviously proud of the building, and gave a grand tour.

Darcy was exhausted by the 15th floor. Jane was drooping as well, and the Avengers looked bored.

Tony seemed to realize that he'd lost his audience, and shook his head wryly. "Right. Jetting around the world tends to make people tired, right?"

Darcy's glare was baleful. "Not to mention being attacked and almost killed, and then carried away by a big hunk of green man."

Bruce tried to disappear into his hunched shoulders as every eye turned to look at him. He mumbled something that no one understood, and stared at a spot on the wall that wasn't close to anyone's face. Darcy felt bad for him, she really did, but at the same time, she wanted to rescue him from himself. And that was a warning sign. She had a problem with being attracted to the bad boys, and the emotionally wounded. It wasn't hard to figure out which category Bruce fell under.

Thor chose that moment to sweep Jane off her feet – literally. The astrophysicist let out an undignified squeak, and threw her arms around Big Blond's neck.

"I have been away from my Jane for quite some time, Man of Iron. Where are my quarters? Or hers? It matters not."

Darcy was thanking whatever gods that existed that she would not have to share a room with Jane. The potential for embarrassment…hearing things that she didn't want to hear while she was in the midst of a dry spell…ugh. No thank you.

"Please find them a room," she begged Tony Stark. "Quickly. Thor doesn't like to wait on things."

Stark looked mildly nauseated. "Uh, yeah. There are some things I can do without knowing, hearing, imagining…ever."

Everyone else kind of froze in embarrassment or mortification as Thor carried the madly giggling Jane away from them, following Tony Stark. Darcy suddenly found herself alone with the superheroes, without the buffer of Jane or Thor, and it was a little intimidating. Especially when they all turned to look at her.

She gulped. "Uh…why are you all staring at me like that?"

Red and Arms were practically dissecting her with their eyes. Red finally shrugged. "Just getting a good look at the girl who took down Thor and Hulk. Not what I expected. Deceptively helpless looking."

Arms raised an eyebrow. "She's kinda small, isn't she?"

Darcy took offense, but it was Bruce who said something. "Small can be mighty," he said softly, slight smile hovering on his lips. He didn't look up at Darcy, but kept his eyes glued to the floor.

She bobbed her head in agreement. "I totally David and Goliathed them. Well, Darcy and Goliathed them." She cast a look at Steve Rogers, sizing him up. "Yo, Apple Pie! You're big enough to be next on my list. Just saying."

Rogers' lips twisted in a smile. "Be my guest, Miss Lewis. If you can take me down with a taser, you deserve the right to boast about it." He didn't comment on his Darcy nickname though, only rolled his eyes.

Red's gaze was speculative, as she casually placed one hand on her hip. "If you value your health, you will try nothing of the sort with any S.H.I.E.L.D agent. Especially myself." The threat inherent in that statement pricked like an icy spider up Darcy's spine.

Red's expression, or lack of, was terrifying. Darcy nodded quickly. "I'll remember that," she said softly. "No tasing of S.H.I.E.L.D agents."

Stark looked a little traumatized when he returned several minutes later. "Yeah, it's a good thing the walls are soundproofed here. And probably a good idea that everyone's rooms are spread out. Thor is…enthusiastic." He looked around as if he wanted a safe place to puke.

Darcy winced, and for a moment totally hated Jane, who was probably being banged into next week, right now. That was totally unfair. And Darcy? Yeah, crushing out on the emotionally wounded scientist with a serious anger management problem who held himself aloof from others. Great opportunity there. But…watching Bruce staring at anything but a person, while safely on the other side of Steve Rogers, Darcy knew she wouldn't have it any other way. She was such a sucker for the wounded ones.

Red had lost her patience with the tour and being sociable, apparently. She folded her arms across her chest and stared at Tony Stark. He copied her gesture and stared back at her with a shit-eating grin. It was a little unfair, really. Stark knew he could get away with being an ass, even to one of the deadliest women on the planet, because killing him would be a bad move.

Arms seemed to be the more sensible one of the duo, and very quickly grew bored of the pissing match. "Mr. Stark…you were showing us our quarters, right?"

Stark's eyes didn't move from their fix on Red's face. "Oh, we'll get there eventually," he assured.

"Tony." Bruce's voice was tired, and soul weary, and Darcy saw that he was now leaning against the wall. "We just flew to Norway and back. We had a little fight only a couple of days after the armageddon battle here. We're all tired. Some of us don't run on crazy for days, like you do. I know where my rooms are, but everyone else wants to shower and go to sleep."

Amid snickers from the others, Tony Stark turned to face his scientific bro, and shook a finger at him. "Listen to you, getting all feisty now. Geez. You let a guy move into your home and suddenly he's walking all over you."

Darcy bit her lip as Bruce's eyes flashed a little green. "Not yet, but I can arrange it. You won't enjoy it." He straightened away from the wall, gaze boring into the billionaire's.

Instead of being hostile, or worried, Tony Stark threw his head back and laughed. "Okay, okay. You win, Hulk man. Let's go." He set off with a jaunty bounce to his step. Everyone but Banner followed. He gave a halfhearted wave when Darcy and Steve turned to look at him, and headed in a different direction.

"Don't worry, Kick-Ass," Tony reassured in a loud voice. "I'll show where his rooms are later."

Bruce's sigh was clearly audible.

Tony Stark had a very warped notion of what a room was. Darcy didn't have a room. She had a suite of rooms, with a bathroom, a bedroom, and a living area. Fully furnished. With a large flatscreen TV hung on the wall. There was a little kitchenette as well.

"There are full kitchens on each level," Tony explained to her. "This is more if you want a quick bite to eat and don't feel like putting on pants. Well, actually, don't let that stop you from wandering around the tower without pants. No one will mind."

He ducked away from Darcy's swat with a laugh, then sidled back closer to her. "I'll give you Bruce's location, so you can wander his way in just a shirt, or something."

Darcy rolled his eyes. "Tony," she chided. "That's up to Bruce to share where he is."

The billionaire raised an eyebrow. "You'll be waiting forever, Kick-Ass. Martyr complex, remember? No joy for Dr. Banner."

"He's had a lot of life changes recently," she countered. "Give him some time to feel settled."

Stark was opening his mouth, but an elbow in the ribs from Apple Pie stopped him. Arms and Red had been shown to their rooms first, but Apple Pie was still waiting. Patiently. However, it seemed his patience had run out.

"No plotting against fellow teammates," he warned Stark.

"C'mon Captain," the playboy protested. "Bruce needs to learn how to be a person again. Lewis here will help with that."

Captain America's blond head inclined to one side. "Throwing a woman at him isn't my idea of him learning to be a person again, Mr. Stark."

Stark snorted. "That's because you're as awkward as Bruce. Banner needs to let go of his iron control. He'll have more control if he lets go of a little." He smirked at Darcy. "And once he lets go, he'll be a wild man. Kick-Ass here will have her hands full."

Darcy's evil, evil mind showed her a flashback of what could be filling her hands, and she flushed, skin going hot and then cold. Steve Rogers noticed, and gaped at her for a moment, before he blushed.

Tony Stark threw his hands in the air. "Where's the enjoyment in corruption? C'mon Captain, let me show you to your rooms. Lewis – keep thinking whatever you were thinking. And then do it!"

He swept out, with a red faced Steve Rogers trailing behind him.

Darcy prowled around her suite once the door swung shut. She couldn't believe her luck in landing this sweet deal. A free living space at Stark Tower. With a group of hottie super heroes. And Tony Freaking Stark encouraging her to pursue one of those hottie super heroes.

Bruce himself was kind of a two-in-one deal. That prospect was kind of wildly exciting in a weird sort of way. Hulk was the bad boy, while Bruce was the emotionally wounded. Both prospects were exciting to her. Darcy had a problem when it came to dating, and it was because she was drawn to both of those types. It never ended well with that type of guy. The last emotionally wounded guy she had dated required a restraining order when he went all weird on her. Well, for that matter, so had the last bad boy she'd dated.

Her mother despaired of her ever finding a 'good' guy.

But as jet lag reared its ugly head in a big way, Darcy decided she didn't care. She tumbled into her bed, taking one delighted moment to think about the spring of the mattress and the softness of the sheets, and then she was out for the count. Seduction could wait for another day.

* * *

Darcy didn't know how long she'd slept, but a soft yet insistent voice with a soothing British accent, woke her.

"Ms. Lewis. Ms. Lewis. Ms. Foster has been knocking on your door for quite some time now."

Darcy only clutched her pillow tighter and mumbled something that even she didn't understand. She was tired. Sleep was good. Jane could wait. British butler-sounding dude could wait. Sleep was really awesome.

Wait. Why was there a British butler-sounding dude in her room?

Darcy pushed herself up to a seated position with her hands. Her whole body felt uncoordinated and detached, and it felt like her face was still attached to a pillow. She raised her hands to scrub at her face a few times, forgetting the hands were bracing her upright, and tumbled face first back into the pillow.

"Ungh." Spitting pillow out of her mouth, Darcy managed to sit up again. She took a quick look around, but could not see British Butler dude. Considering she was currently only wearing an oversized tee shirt and panties, she didn't really want British Butler dude in her bedroom.

"Dude, what the hell are you doing in my room?" She looked around, head wobbling on her neck, but couldn't see anyone.

"I am in every room of the tower, Ms. Lewis."

Darcy pulled the bedsheets up over herself. "That's really creepy, dude. Not to mention impossible. Unless you're one of those mutant types. But if you're a mutant who can make copies of himself, you should be working with one of the X groups, not slumming it as Tony Stark's butler."

"Ah, Mr. Stark neglected to inform your group of my presence. I am Jarvis, a fully interactive and autonomous artificial intelligence. Along with Ms. Potts, I help contain and focus Mr. Stark's rather unique energy."

"He created you?"

"He did, yes."

"Ohmigod. Tony Stark built his own nanny. That's awesome."

"I prefer to think of myself as a keeper, rather than a nanny," the disembodied voice informed her stiffly. It was amazing how much emotion the AI could convey.

That didn't mean Darcy was going to parade around in her panties. "Can you…'see'…me?"

"I have the ability to view your rooms, yes."

Knowing the perversion that was Tony Stark, she had to ask. "And record?"

"Yes."

Darcy gulped. "No looking, no recording. Got that, British Butler dude?"

"Understood , Ms. Lewis. Would you like me to let Ms. Foster in?"

Oops. Darcy had forgotten about Jane. "Oops. Yeah, right away, please."

She heard Jane before she saw her. "Darcy, it's about time! Good God girl, you have to learn how to sleep lighter."

Darcy snorted as she slid out of bed. She had a moment where she worried about the peeping Tom AI, but he said he wouldn't look or record. Then again, Tony Stark had created him, so she wondered if she could trust British Butler dude's word. That thought led to other more complex thoughts about her own sanity because of questioning the moral integrity of an artificial intelligence.

She quickly pulled on pants, and ducked into the bathroom to pull on a bra, then popped back out in time to see Jane sticking her head into the bedroom. Ugh. Jane looked completely and thoroughly well laid, right down to the disheveled hair and loopy grin.

Darcy held one hand up. "Not a word, Foster. Not before I've had coffee."

Jane was practically bouncing. "Hurry. And after you've had coffee, I'll show you to our new 'office'. "

Darcy grunted and set the coffee maker to brew. The new insanity of her life was about to start, and she wasn't even trying to face it without coffee. She had the feeling that she'd need all of her energy to deal with Tony Stark, and it would be helpful to be on top of her game for…whatever with Dr. Moppy.


	5. Chapter 5

Darcy's big, green admirer returns! I just adore this chapter. I hope you do too.

Reviews = faster updates. Please let me know what you think!

* * *

Bruce Banner was amazingly adept at avoiding her.

It wasn't really unexpected, but Darcy was slightly annoyed anyhow. Stark Tower was a big place, and even though she worked in the science division along with Bruce, the science division encompassed 12 floors, at least. So there was plenty of opportunity for the man to dodge her.

Still, they had rooms on the same floor of the Tower, so you'd think they'd bump into each other in the full size kitchen or communal entertainment areas, but in her first three weeks at the Tower, Darcy did not see the man other than the day she arrived.

She saw the others occasionally. Red and Arms seemed to be the type that were slow to trust, so they didn't do much more than nod acknowledgement of her presence when she saw either one of them. There was a lot of angst between the two of them, she could tell. Something really bad had happened to one or both of them around the time of the attack, and it had left deep wounds. Darcy didn't have any details, but then again, she hadn't asked. The issues were easily observed.

So she mostly steered clear of the two S.H.I.E.L.D agents.

Apple Pie was unfailingly polite to everyone, including her, but his exposure to modern society had been limited, so Darcy got the feeling that he considered both her and Jane to be a little slutty. He was quick to blush at remarks that were only slightly suggestive, and any reference to Jane and Thor's 'relationship' usually caused him to leave the room. Darcy felt a little sorry for him. Plus, he was a constant target for Tony Stark's sniping.

Then again, everyone was a constant target for Tony Stark's sniping. The man lived for making people uncomfortable. She saw him more frequently than any of the others, and every time she saw him, he asked if she tracked down Dr. Banner yet. It amused him that Bruce Banner was so terribly elusive.

Darcy usually yelled at him to leave her alone. Stark seemed to expect that, and would depart with a laugh. Still, he was fun to be around. Like the sheer embodiment of chaos. Darcy did not envy Pepper Potts, the woman who had captured Tony's Stark's heart. She hadn't met the woman yet, but as Jarvis had pointed out, Pepper was one of the reasons that Tony Stark was still functional.

Jane and Thor, after several days of mostly being holed up in their rooms, resumed their somewhat abnormal lives, without the constant touching problem. Darcy was relieved. While she was very happy for Jane, it had been rather sickening to watch. And unusual, since the two of them had not been all touchy feely when Thor had been mortal and stuck with them.

Based on a few conversations with both parties, Darcy figured out that Thor felt absolutely horrible that he had not been able to return to Jane right away. He told an awesome, hard to follow story about his confrontation with Loki that ended with Thor destroying the rainbow bridge thing to prevent his brother from destroying another realm. So Thor felt like an oathbreaker, and apparently, some gatekeeper type dude in Asgard who used to guard the rainbow bridge could still see into the other realms, so Thor was updated on Jane's search for him. Darcy remembered some of those days, when Jane would break down and question if there had been any connection between them, or if she had imagined it all. It had been a constant battle against despair, and Thor had known he was the cause of that.

Darcy knew Thor was very emotional, but to watch the big guy almost break down while confessing how terrible he had felt was a little wrenching. So she forgave him for his over-the-top displays of affection with Jane in their first few days of being reunited, and tried to spend some of her free time helping him to learn more about Earth's current culture. Thor appreciated it, and wholeheartedly approved of her pursuit of Bruce Banner. But he had his own slightly selfish reasons for that, she learned.

"Why, Thor? Why are you encouraging me? I know why Tony encourages me, because Tony is crazy and enjoys messing with people. But why are you encouraging me? Jane certainly doesn't. Steve Rogers thinks I'm entirely too forward, and Clint and Natasha both just look at me like I'm certifiable."

Thor ducked his head. "Perhaps if Dr. Banner has a reason to be happier, his inner beast will not pummel me every time we fight together in battle."

Darcy blinked. "Hulk beats up on you?"

"Every time," the God of Thunder confessed.

"Hahaha! That's too awesome. It's probably just a way to show affection."

Thor looked sad suddenly. "I had convinced myself that my brother showed his affection in a similar manner, but it was not so. I truly believe that Banner's inner beast does not like me."

Darcy patted his arm. "He'll grow to like you. Jane and I did, remember?"

Thor laughed. "I was an insufferable…I believe 'prick' is the word that the Man of Iron uses."

Darcy laughed. "Yes, you were. That's why I tased you. C'mon big guy. Let's see if Jane has managed to drag herself away from the lab yet."

Thor heaved a big sigh as he pulled himself to his feet. "It is unlikely. My lady has a fondness for her science that is even greater than her fondness for me."

Darcy jumped to her feet and patted his arm. Nice muscles. "Nah. She's just been lost in science's embrace a lot longer. She'll come to a balance eventually."

She walked with him to the lab area, since it was likely that Jane was still there. Before they pushed open the heavy duty double doors that led into the R&D area, a massive boom shook the building. An alarm went off almost immediately, followed by the sprinklers. Smoke billowed out around the doorframe. Thor was on alert instantly.

"Jane!" He looked down at Darcy, impressiveness slightly marred by the dripping wet hair. "Go Darcy. Return to your quarters."

And really? That sounded like a smart idea, but before she could do that, Jane staggered out of the R&D area, looking a little toasted. Her hair was all askew, and her clothes looked singed.

"What happened?" Thor demanded as he supported Jane's faltering steps, guiding her to a nearby bench.

Jane coughed a few times, blinked, and then focused on Thor and Darcy. "I've been working with Tony and Bruce on a project," she explained, in a very loud voice. "Tony did…something…and it caused an explosion." She swayed, and Thor supported her.

"What about Tony and Bruce?" Darcy asked, feeling more than a little alarmed.

"They were right on top of it," Jane slurred. "I don't know."

Thor caught her arm as Darcy jumped up and headed for the doors. His expression was priceless. "Darcy, you cannot go in there. Stay here, with Jane. I will investigate."

Hmm…that made total sense. "Hurry," she pleaded, sitting down with Jane. The water from the sprinklers was keeping her friend from losing consciousness. Jane turned her face up toward the ceiling, and let out a few more coughs.

Thor only made it two steps before the heavy double doors burst open, crashing into the walls and imbedding there. Darcy blinked in astonishment as a huge shadow, encased in a cloud of heavy black smoke, came through the doorway snarling.

Ah. Bruce was fine.

She jumped to her feet when she saw Tony dangling from Hulk's arms. The billionaire was unconscious, and covered in black soot. She couldn't see any blood though, and that was probably a good thing, right?

Thor held his arms out. "Give him to me, Banner. I will take him for medical aid."

Nope. Thor was right. Hulk totally didn't like him, judging from the lightning fast punch from a green fist that sent Thor flying backward down the hall. In a different situation, it might have been funny, but this? This was kind of heartbreaking. Hulk looked sad and afraid as he peered down at the body in his arms. He shook Tony, trying to get a response. When he did not get a response, he roared.

Running footsteps heralded the arrival of the other Avengers, as the sprinklers turned off. Darcy nodded at Red, Arms, and Apple Pie as they skidded to a halt beside her, having come from a different direction.

Rogers glanced down the hallway at Thor, who was prying himself out of a divot in the tiled floor, and then swung to look at Hulk. Then his gaze turned to Darcy. She almost flinched away. She'd gotten used to Rogers, but this was Captain America she was facing, and he was way more intense.

"What happened?" he barked.

"Explosion in the lab. Bruce and Tony were right at the heart of it. Jane was on the fringes and got out on her own. Thor was on his way in when Hulk brought Tony out." Darcy shrugged. "Hulk doesn't seem to like Thor."

Apple Pie's lips twitched, but he didn't smile. "No. It seems that way. Do we know how badly Tony is hurt?"

"We do not," Thor told him as he rejoined his teammates, disgruntled. He wasn't quite glaring at Hulk, but it was close.

"Medical is on their way," Red assured, tapping her ear.

Rogers nodded. "We need to get Tony away from Hulk. I'll try."

He walked forward. Rather bravely, Darcy thought, considering Hulk's warning growl. And really? The end result was never in question. Steve requested that Hulk give up Tony, and Hulk politely declined. The captain was a lot slower than Thor in picking himself up, but at least he didn't leave a divot in the floor.

A medical team popped out of the stairwell door right near Rogers, and followed him up the hallway as he briefed them. Two members peeled off from the group and went to Jane, to check her out. The other three stood with the Avengers and Darcy, and stared at the Hulk, who stared back at them.

"I have a tranquilizer dart," Arms offered. "Banner helped develop it. It should put Hulk down."

One of the medical personnel shook his head in a negative. "If you do that, he could fall forward on top of Mr. Stark, which would only do more damage. I'd rather not risk that."

They were in a standoff. The Avengers couldn't take Tony Stark from Hulk, and Hulk was not willing to give his friend to anyone. Well, except maybe…

While the medical team argued with the remaining Avengers, Darcy slowly sidled away from them, trying to make herself as inconspicuous as possible. Step by mincing step, she drew away from the group. It was easy to do when they were used to ignoring her. Had Jane been alert, she would have noticed, but the others were now in full hero mode, and she was inconsequential. When she was sure they were ignoring her, she walked down the hall toward the distressed Hulk.

He saw her coming and tensed, growling a warning which alerted everyone else. Darcy ignored the shouted commands from Rogers and Thor, and continued to approach with little steps.

"Hey Big Green," she greeted softly. "Remember me? You totally carried me off a couple of weeks ago."

Hulk's giant head cocked to one side, and his nostrils flared as he presumably picked up her scent. For a few seconds, Darcy wasn't sure if he did remember her, and she really didn't want to have every bone in her body pulverized, but she kept the mental image in her head of when she had tased him. Hulk's world had shifted in that moment, and Darcy had to trust that he remembered.

"So what do you say, Big Green?"

He gorilla-hopped toward her, with an uncertain snarl, and then stood still as Darcy approached. When he made that strange, mewling noise and almost smiled, she felt relief. Hulk remembered, and apparently did not share Bruce's aversion to associating with her.

He slung his free arm around her and picked her up, pulling her up to his shoulder. Darcy patted his cheek, marveling in the heat of his green skin, and the steel of his muscles, and then looked down to where Stark was dangling from Hulk's other arm.

"Is Tony okay?"

Hulk brought Tony's limp body up to her level, and Darcy checked for a pulse. Whew. His pulse was strong, and there didn't seem to be any blood. Whatever had exploded hadn't hit him, it looked like.

"He's alive," she called. "No blood, but unconscious."

"Can you convince the Hulk to give Mr. Stark to us?" one of the medical team called.

Darcy sighed. "I'll try, but he's scared right now. He's scared for Tony." She reached a hand up to pet Hulk's moppy hair that was really just Bruce's, and he closed his eyes, leaning into her hair fondling just as Bruce had done. "Hey big guy. We need to let the medical people look at Tony, okay?"

Hulk's eyes didn't open, but he growled softly and hugged Tony's limp body closer. Darcy had to blink back tears because this was just almost too much. Bruce would understand the situation, but Hulk didn't. All he knew was that Tony was hurt, and he was protecting him.

She slid her hand down to Big Green's cheek. "Hey I know, I understand. You want to protect Tony, but you did! You brought him out of the lab to where he could breathe. But we have to make sure he's okay, right? I can't do that. I don't know how. Bruce could, but Bruce isn't here right now and I don't think you can do that, right?"

Big Green's eyes opened slowly, and he met her gaze. Slowly, he shook his head, and Darcy nodded. "I know. It's tough, right? You don't trust anyone, but they will help Tony. That's what they do. Okay, big fella? Can we walk over to those people in the blue jackets, and give Tony to them? So they can make sure he's okay?"

Hulk huffed, and his breath was like a gentle breeze, setting her damp hair to dancing softly. He looked down at Tony's form, looked up at Darcy, and then out at the medical personnel. Then he huffed again, and walked forward slowly.

It was funny, watching the superheroes look on cautiously as Hulk approached, while _she_ got a free and safe ride, instead of a fist. She was…she was a _Hulk tamer_! That would look awesome on a resume (and probably get her thrown in jail if she tried to use it). Damn! It just really sucked that she had this awesome skill that she couldn't tell anyone about. Except for the people she currently worked with and around, and it wouldn't be near as impressive to them. Sigh.

Two of the braver medical personnel came forward to meet them. Hulk came to an abrupt halt, and gave a low growl. He was still very reluctant to give up his friend. So Darcy petted his hair and patted his cheek, and Big Green finally, _finally_, handed a limp Tony over to the people that could help him. Then he shuffled backward, keeping a wary eye on everyone else.

"Darcy?"

Jane's shrill voice made Big Green snarl a little. Darcy was going to call out to her, but Thor moved to Jane's side and talked to her in a low voice.

"I'm just fine, Jane," Darcy assured.

"But…but…you're…the Hulk has you."

Big Green growled, and Darcy agreed. Jane seemed to be nursing some not so nice feelings about Hulk and Bruce. She didn't know why. Big Green Moppy was just as adorable as regular sized Moppy. She petted Big Green's hair again, which calmed him instantly. He huffed in Jane's direction, then turned his attention back to Darcy, leaning into her petting, dark eyes focused on her. Something that could probably be called a smile stretched his mouth.

Darcy leaned her head on his shoulder, taking comfort in his heat and muscles. "I don't know how much influence you have with Bruce," she said softly, "But he's not too keen on spending time with me. But I like him and I like _you_, Big Green. And you obviously like me back."

At this, Hulk nodded and made that strange noise. He lifted his free hand, and stroked one finger down her arm. Darcy figured that no one else got to see that gentle look on his face, and she rewarded him with a pat on the cheek.

"Ms. Lewis?" Apple Pie called softly.

"Yes Mr. Rogers?" she returned coolly.

"I'd feel a lot better if you weren't where you are right now."

"I'm perfectly safe, Captain. Big Green here won't hurt me."

She felt Hulk stiffen, and heard a little growl as the big guy shifted uneasily. Others were approaching, and he didn't like it.

"Ms. Foster is still a little woozy, Ms. Lewis. We'd like to be able to talk to Bruce, if possible."

Darcy nodded, and met Big Green's eyes. "The Captain wants to talk to Bruce about what happened. Can that happen soon? Not that I'm not enjoying this time with you, of course, but we need Bruce to tell us what happened. How Tony got hurt."

Hulk growled again, and the shifting expression on his face seemed to be a pout. But Darcy was a champion pouter, and no big, green alter ego was going to out pout her. So she just stared steadily back into Big Green's eyes, and stuck her lower lip out, while her whole face went a little sad, and her eyes drooped.

Hulk's sigh was all Bruce, and seconds later, he was shrinking. Darcy let out an undignified yelp as they began to wobble, and Hulk's arm was no longer supporting her. She tumbled free, saved from cracking her head on the floor by a sliding catch from Apple Pie, who was doing a split. A freaking split! Not that she was complaining or anything, since if he hadn't, her brains might have been oozing across the tile floor and Bruce would never have forgiven himself.

She twisted her head, cupped in Rogers' hands, around so she could meet his eyes, which were very close. He was adorably cute. Those blue eyes! Those apple pie cheeks! That smile! That body!

"Thanks," she breathed, and frowned when she noticed his wince. "Ohmigod! You didn't pull a muscle in your groin, did you?"

Steve Rogers flushed bright red, and shook his head rapidly. "No ma'am. Are you okay? Can you sit up?" He brought his back leg up off the floor to rest on his knee so that he wasn't in the split position anymore.

Sure. She could sit up and staple her mouth shut, so that stupid things didn't come out of it. She was about to sit up, when someone offered her a hand, which she gratefully accepted. She was pulled to a sitting position, and came face to face with an equally adorable naked Moppy. He was a little dopey yet, and his hair was all tousled from where she'd been petting him, but he offered her a tremulous smile.

"You're naked," she greeted him, and then really wanted to face-palm herself.

Bruce took it in stride. "That happens," he admitted. He raised an eyebrow. "Are you looking?"

Darcy was honest. "I'm trying really hard not to, Dr. Moppy. But I have horrible impulse control and even worse mouth filters."

"You _have_ mouth filters?" Bruce asked, with a twinkle in his eyes.

Darcy stuck her tongue out at him. "Hey now, hot stuff. That's just not nice. I can sometimes control what I'm saying." Then she frowned when she remembered she was a little irritated with him. "I am a little irritated with you. You were avoiding me!"

He tucked his upper lip briefly under his teeth. "A little, yeah." Then he looked over her head. "Clothes please? The floor is getting a little cold."

Darcy couldn't stop her glance down, and she failed miserably at keeping her mouth under control. "Are you shriveling?" Augh! Chest hair! Thigh muscles! And a … blanket? Really? "Hey!" she protested, looking up and around to see Arms standing behind her, smirking.

He wagged a finger at her. "I'm helping your impulse control. Can't do anything about that mouth though."

Darcy stuck her tongue out at him and then turned her attention back to Bruce. He was trying very hard not to laugh. Which made her happy, because at least he wasn't looking at her in fear. But he was wiggling around to unfold the blanket and pull it under his butt without exposing himself, and the sight was so funny that she couldn't help the laughter that bubbled out of her mouth, followed by Bruce's wry chuckle.

Darcy shook her finger at him. "Your alter ego totally adores me, you know. I'm not gonna quit until you feel the same way."

It looked like he was going to say something, but Apple Pie, back on his feet, interrupted. "Dr. Banner? We really need to find out what happened, and if we need to do anything else to treat Mr. Stark."

Bruce accepted a hand up from Arms, clutching the blanket around his lower half, and looked down at Darcy hesitantly. "I'll…I'll probably talk to you sometime in the near future, Ms. Lewis."

She frowned at him. "No way. It's Darcy to you."

His lips quirked into an almost smile, and he bobbed his head in a nod before following Apple Pie and one of the medical team personnel down the hall. Darcy sighed in appreciation as they walked away from her. Between Moppy and Apple Pie, those were two fine butts moving away.

A hand waved in front of her face, and she blinked and then stared up at Arms. He was still smirking. "Whatever you're thinking, stop." He pulled her to her feet when Darcy reached up to grab his hand.

She felt eyes boring into the back of her head, and turned slowly. Red was staring. "You have balls of steel," the Russian said finally, before turning on her heel and departing.

Clint folded his Darcy namesakes over his chest and grinned. "That is high praise from Natasha," he remarked. "Your chance of death at her hands probably just went down by 10%."

Darcy's eyes lit up. "What percentage am I at?"

Clint thought about it, and then winced. "Let's not ruin the moment, shall we?"

Darcy shrugged, and went over to Thor and Jane, who were just finishing up with the medical guys. Jane still looked woozy, so Thor picked her up.

"You okay, Jane?" Darcy asked.

"Fine. Need to sleep."

Thor nodded down at Darcy. "I will take her back to our quarters so that she may rest." He smiled suddenly. "You were brave and clever, Darcy. Thank you."

It was nice to have the recognition. Rogers hadn't said a thing. Darcy smiled back up at the blond god. "Thanks Thor. Just doing my part."

He patted her head with his free hand, and then walked away with Jane. Darcy found herself alone in the corridor, since Arms had ghosted away, and the two medical people were hurrying after the three who had taken Tony. A little at loose ends, Darcy headed back to her rooms.

She showered to wash the smoke smell from her skin and hair, then pulled on an old ratty tee shirt over her panties, and curled up on the sofa in her living area. The television did not provide enough mindless distraction to put her immediately to sleep, and she was a little hungry, since she'd never gotten dinner, so Darcy sat up and prowled to her little kitchenette. Her mind was spinning with the events of the last hour, and maybe food would calm her down.

She didn't find much: a few containers of leftover takeout from work lunches. Darcy did the sniff test on all of them, and didn't smell anything bad, so she dumped them all together: Chinese, Mexican, and Italian, and popped the whole mess into the microwave.

She was curled up on the sofa, digging happily into her bowl of leftover mixed takeout, when there was a knock on the door. Darcy jerked in surprise, dropping her fork, which cheerfully somersaulted down the front of her shirt, leaving colorful dabs of food the whole way.

"Dammit," she swore softly. She wasn't expecting anyone, and she was only wearing a (now stained) shirt and panties. Ah what the hell? It wasn't like she had a low mortification level, she could handle it.

She jumped to her feet and hurried to the door, using a corner of her shirt to dab at the food chunks and sauce that trailed down her front. Just as she reached the door, another knock sounded, and Darcy jerked it open, eyes still fixed on her dinner stained shirt.

"Yeah?"

"Uh hi. I wanted to let you know that Tony will be fine and…"

Darcy's head jerked up at the sound of Bruce's voice, and took in his face, frozen in an open mouthed expression of…astonishment? Want? He was staring at her legs, and Darcy realized they were bare. Of course, no pants. She had also pulled up the hem of her shirt in the course of trying to dab the food off, and her panties, yellow cotton Joe Boxer smiley faces, were exposed.

She could tell by Bruce's face when he noticed the panties. His mouth quirked in a stunned grin, eyes just raking over her lower body. Then they continued upward, following the trail of food, until they reached her chest. Darcy almost, _almost_, squirmed. The shirt was a little tight, and it was painfully obvious that she wasn't wearing a bra, since her girls were practically waving at Dr. Banner.

Moppy flushed, swallowed, and finally pulled his eyes up to meet hers. He looked guilty when he realized she had watched him take a good long look. It was a moment of complete triumph for Darcy, and her mouth engaged before her brain could stop it.

"Well hey there, Dr. Moppy. Like what you see? Are you here to take me up on my offer from when we first met, since I saw you naked again?"

Bruce pushed a hand through his hair and let out an incredulous exhale, which sounded almost exactly like Big Green's huff. "Uh…no. I just…I wanted to thank you for diffusing the situation earlier. Steve told me that you talked the Other Guy into giving up Tony, when he didn't want anyone near Tony."

Still internally kicking her rogue mouth, which was on a complete rampage tonight, Darcy leaned against the door frame. "I've got skills, Bruce. Besides, your other self totally adores me, so it wasn't hard."

Bruce shook his head. "It was incredibly brave, Darcy, but not very smart. The Other Guy isn't predictable, and just because he didn't hurt you before doesn't mean he won't now. He might not even mean to, but it could happen."

She cocked her head to one side. She wasn't going to invite him in, because his nervous fidgeting told him he wouldn't accept, but she needed to express her feelings on this subject. "You know, Bruce, I think you're so convinced the Big Green is uncontrollable that you're not even willing to accept that he might be learning. It's the second time that he hasn't hurt me, and the second time he's saved Tony."

Bruce frowned. "He attacked Thor."

Darcy made a piffing noise. "He _punched_ Thor. Thor can take it. So can Steve, from what I've seen. They're fine, just jealous and grumpy that they couldn't talk Big Green into giving up Tony. Stop avoiding me."

He stared back at her cautiously. "It's safer for you if I do."

Darcy shook her head. "Nope. You don't get that option anymore. Stop avoiding me."

Bruce looked tired and defeated. "Fine. I'll stop avoiding you. But thank you, for today."

She beamed up at him. "You're welcome. Thank you for the awesome nakedness again. Even though Clint ruined some of it." Ugh. Someone please sew her mouth shut!

Bruce tried not to smile. "I'm convinced you don't have mouth filters. Good night Darcy."

"Good night Dr. Moppy. I will see you soon." It was a promise, and she noticed that Bruce didn't even try to talk her out of it this time. He gave an awkward little finger wave, and then spun on his heel and walked away. Darcy did not watch him leave. She withdrew back into her rooms, and went for a clean shirt.

All in all, it had been a pretty awesome day.


	6. Chapter 6

This chapter is dedictated to _TheDreamerLady_, who really wanted to read Bruce's POV. Since it fell naturally into the story line (and I did it in Chapter 3), voila! I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Living in the same building and working in a lab with Tony Stark was going to be a challenge to every shred of self control Bruce had gained over the past few years. It hadn't been too bad in the few days between the New York battle, and the rescue of Jane and Darcy. But as soon as Tony had seen Hulk's reaction to getting tased…he was relentless.

He was also very evil.

Bruce discovered this fact when they finally arrived back at Stark Tower. He slid out of the car behind Tony and Steve, and watched the others emerging from two other cars. His stomach did a weird little fluttery thing when he saw Darcy follow Jane Foster out of the third car.

Tony was watching for his reaction, with a twisted, gleeful expression on his face. He was a child sometimes. Bruce tried to remember why he had accepted Tony's offer to live in the Tower, but then remembered he had nowhere else to go, and he was tired of running. He wanted a place to call his own, and people to call his family and friends. He hadn't been lying to the rest of the team aboard the helicarrier when he'd admitted to the attempt to end it all. Emotional and physical isolation was a heavy weight, aging him before his time. He had only wanted it to end.

Of course, it didn't work out. The Other Guy was there to protect Bruce when needed, even from himself. It was a hell of his own making, and Bruce didn't want to be stuck in it anymore. This group could handle the Other Guy. It was the non-Avengers, the non-S.H.I.E.L.D agents that he was worried about. They didn't have training to handle him. Jane and Darcy. Pepper and Happy Hogan. They were in danger by being around him.

He raised a judgmental eyebrow. "Really Tony? You invited her here?"

The billionaire smirked. "Dr. Foster is moving in, so Miss Lewis goes where Jane does."

Bruce sighed heavily. "You're playing with fire, Tony. Don't encourage her. She lacks self preservation instincts."

Tony Stark's grin was hard. "It's the best way to live, Bruce. Too many people exist in fear of everything. To live, truly live, you have to let go of the fear."

Sometimes, he forgot that Tony Stark had gone through hell before inventing the Iron Man suit. He had been tortured and nearly killed. It didn't make him any easier to live with.

Bruce shook his head. "We have differing opinions on that, Tony. Just…just don't help her, okay? I'll stay away from her, and she'll find someone safer to be interested in."

Tony raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. Bruce wasn't optimistic enough to think that he would cease and desist.

* * *

Darcy Lewis was persistent. Bruce had to give her that. Several times, he avoided her only by a few feet, slipping into an empty lab, or hiding in a closet. That one was embarrassing when one of the lab assistants found him there. For a second, as the heat of shame warmed him, he tried to think of an excuse. Then he thought 'what the hell?' and used the Other Guy.

"I need absolute quiet," he growled at the lab assistant. "You should come back later."

The somewhat terrified expression of the young man as he nodded hastily, shut the door, and fled, only made Bruce feel guilty. But what was he supposed to do? The very luscious and very young Darcy Lewis was a temptation that he needed to not dangle in front of his own face. She was too rare and too precious to become a casualty of the Other Guy.

Tony, under threat of having the Other Guy unleashed on him, did not give up Bruce's hiding places, even though he really wanted to. That didn't stop him from questioning Darcy to see if she'd tracked down where Bruce was hiding out yet. Bruce could hear the irritation in Darcy's voice when she shouted at Tony during those occasions.

Still, it was embarrassing. Bruce felt like an awkward teenager; hiding from a girl. When Tony came to him, with an idea that required his input along with Dr. Foster's, Bruce latched on eagerly. Anything to distract him from the hiding.

It required more time in the lab, but Bruce had never really minded that, and it was practically second nature to Jane and Tony to spend long hours working. Working directly with Tony had its ups and downs. On one hand, the billionaire was brilliant and driven. On the other hand, he was snarky, intrusive, and irritating. Bruce looked at it as an exercise in self control, ignoring the prods, the pokes, and the objects that came flying at him at odd times.

Tony even employed his creations to annoy Bruce, to test him. The general fetch-all robot Tony affectionately called Dummy had a habit of dumping things on Bruce. Tony insisted, with completely false sincerity, that he had not programmed Dummy to prank/annoy Bruce, but his grin every time it happened said otherwise.

The stretched too tight Dr. Foster was a challenge to work with. She was more of what Bruce was used to: an uptight, focused scientist. But he'd come to appreciate Tony Stark's ways, even if the billionaire did drive him nuts. Dr. Foster's expressions clearly indicated that she disapproved of Tony's ways, and she didn't seem to realize that it only made Tony heckle her even more. After all, Tony Stark was an equal opportunity heckler.

Several times, when Tony would slyly ask about Dr. Foster's assistant, the woman would expend a little energy complaining about Darcy's focus being elsewhere, and how she could be positively annoying. She would usually continue with a long laundry list of complaints about her former intern, thinking that Bruce shared her opinion.

He wondered what Dr. Foster would think if she knew that she had come far closer to unleashing the Other Guy than Tony had. He was trying very strongly to deny to himself that he found Darcy Lewis interesting and appealing, and to hear someone else malign her set his gut churning. The fact that Dr. Foster seemed to expect everyone else to fall in with her thoughts had him seeing a little green.

It made Bruce a little sad, and he wondered if Darcy knew how much Jane Foster was annoyed by her presence, and apparently everything she did. He wouldn't be the one to tell the vibrant young woman. He had the feeling that Darcy wasn't as strong or carefree as she liked to portray.

In a move unlike himself, Bruce subtly encouraged Tony to continue to heckle Dr. Foster. It gave him a small little bit of pleasure to see the overstretched woman get so annoyed and flustered.

Tony delighted in the reaction he got from Jane Foster, and pushed more everyday. He was particularly obnoxious one night when they were working late (again), and Dr. Foster finally moved to the far end of the lab, near the doors.

"Dr. Foster, what's wrong?" Tony called. "Have a hot date with Point Break?"

"The air is a little clearer at this end," Jane replied acerbically.

It was probably Bruce's fault, what happened next, because he was encouraging Tony to not pay attention to what he was doing so he could continue to harass Thor's woman. Bruce watched it happen in slow motion, as the billionaire's hand dropped lower than it should have, and two things that should not be touching met.

The explosion was huge. Tony realized it as soon as it happened, and threw his arms up to shield himself, but he was at ground zero, and was flung away like a rag doll. Bruce himself had a brief moment to think about diving for cover, but then his world went green.

* * *

Bruce sometimes had flashes of memory of what happened when the Other Guy came out. They had never been pleasant, not really. Although he did have a memory of totally flattening Loki after his failed alien invasion, and another brief flash of overwhelming relief when Tony Stark opened his eyes after falling from the sky. Those two ranked as his most enjoyable Other Guy memories to date.

When the green haze receded (he was sitting naked on a very cold floor), Bruce could remember a warm, gentle hand pressed to his (the Other Guy's) cheek, and that same hand running through his hair. He turned his head a little woozily to see Darcy sprawled on the floor, head cupped in Steve Rogers' hands. When she tried to sit up, Bruce went with his first instinct, and offered a hand to her. He wasn't the person she was expecting to see offering her a hand up, but her brilliant smile warmed him (even despite the chilled floor).

"You're naked," she blurted in greeting.

He wanted to laugh, but shrugged instead. "That happens." Then, he just couldn't help himself, because she was so close, and so pretty, and she smelled so nice: "Are you looking?"

She looked like she was fighting herself as she admitted that she was trying not to. Her eyes were so inviting, so welcoming, so _not_ scared of him. It brought a lump to his throat. When she scolded him for avoiding her, those eyes were still pulling him in and giving him a safe haven. Then, reality intruded as he realized his backside was really very cold and he plaintively asked for clothes.

Darcy abruptly lost control of her mouth controls and couldn't seem to stop her glance down, but Bruce was saved from eminent embarrassment by a blanket tossed across his lap by a smirking Hawkeye. Darcy indignantly scolded the archer, who rather blandly admitted he was trying to help with her impulse control problems. Bruce used the opportunity to squirm around a little and pull the blanket underneath him without exposing himself. Ah…relief from the aching cold. He chuckled with Darcy over the situation, and listened with resignation (not hope, truly, not hope) as she told him that the Other Guy adored her, and she wouldn't rest until he did too. Bruce hoped his expression didn't give away that he was already more than halfway there. How could he _not_ like her?

The moment was so surreal that Bruce had forgotten why the Other Guy was out, until Steve Rogers asked about Tony. The explosion! Tony had been right on top of it! He had another flash of memory – holding Tony's limp form and roaring out his pain that his friend was hurt. He accepted a hand up from Barton, and paused to look down at Darcy.

"I'll…I'll probably talk to you sometime in the near future, Ms. Lewis." There was no way he could continue to avoid this vibrant woman (girl). She was a balm to his rather empty soul, and Bruce didn't think he could continue being that empty.

She scolded him again, telling him that he was to call her Darcy, and Bruce could only nod. Then, duty called, and he walked away with Rogers and one of the medical team to brief them on what had happened.

Bruce explained what had happened as best as he could, leaving out the part that the explosion had been caused because Tony had been focused on heckling Dr. Foster more than on what he'd been doing. He'd been equally responsible for that lapse of attention, but it wouldn't happen again. He had to remember that being around Tony was like babysitting a child. While the billionaire could mostly take care of himself, he had to be watched, because anything could and would happen. Bruce wondered, again, how the amazing Pepper Potts put up with Tony.

The debrief with Agent Sitwell of S.H.I.E.L.D, temporarily filling the position left vacant by Phil Coulson's death, was humiliating. S.H.I.E.L.D was concerned that it had been an attack, rather than a lab accident, since it involved two Avengers and the girlfriend of another. Bruce answered as evasively as he could, but reassured the agent that it had only been an accident. When released, he quietly whispered to Jarvis that Tony should be given the same story to share. Then, the fact that he was sneaking half truths around a secret government agency made him bite back a smile.

What Steve told him, about Darcy's role in calming the Other Guy, completely blew his mind. Bruce was sure it had been a fluke the first time, when the Other Guy had snatched her up and carried her off. But this? Not only did she rather boldly walk up to him after Thor and Rogers had already been sent flying down the corridor, but she talked him into giving up his Tony rag-doll, and then talked him back to himself! He hadn't even thought that was possible. That hinted at control, something Bruce steadfastly refused to believe the Other Guy had. He was a mindless rage monster. Mindless rage monsters couldn't voluntarily stop raging.

But then again, during and since the Chitauri invasion, the Other Guy had been more focused, an aimed weapon rather than a random explosion. During missions (they'd only had two since the one that had brought them together), the Other Guy apparently took suggestions from Rogers. That was impressive.

The hope, quickly suppressed, that control was finally a possibility made Bruce a little giddy. He felt lighter, closer to his actual age rather than the age his weighted soul gave to him. It was that feeling that probably prompted him to seek out Darcy in her rooms. He told himself, as he was walking through the hallways, that he just wanted to let her know that Tony would be okay. At worst, there would be some possible scarring on his arms, which had taken the brunt of the blast. Since she had been directly involved in Tony receiving medical care, Bruce thought it was only fair to reassure her, and praise her for her quick thinking.

His mind was a little chaotic when he arrived at her door, trying to decide how he would present his visit. He wasn't here to see her. Not really. He was just sharing news about Tony. His presence didn't mean that he wanted to see her. Not at all. He wasn't hoping for her absolute zest for life to rub off on him. He was only sharing information. That was all.

At this rate, Bruce wouldn't really be surprised if he sprouted zits and his voice began breaking, because he _really_ felt like an awkward teenager again. This was ridiculous! He was a grown man, a successful scientist (who had been on the run for years due to his 'condition'), and part of a superhero team that had saved the world. One very young (very beautiful) recent college graduate should not be able to make him feel like this.

He'd sworn off man/woman feelings when Betty Ross moved on. A long distance relationship with someone she couldn't even legally contact and never got to see had worn her down, and she'd finally given up. He'd secretly checked in on her a year and a half before the whole Chitauri nightmare, to find that she'd married, and had a newborn. The terrible emotional pain had led him to attempt to end it all, only to discover that the Other Guy would not allow it. Bruce had lost his mind for a month or two, slowly resigned himself to enduring, and decided that the emptiness would always be there.

It wasn't hard to stick to his resolution. There was no point in being interested in anyone when there was no possibility. How did one bring up the topic of the Other Guy when trying to date? 'Oh by the way, when I get too excited or angry or hurt, I turn into a giant green rage monster. You okay with that?' It just wasn't happening, so Bruce shut down that portion of himself.

Then he woke up with Darcy sitting on him, knowing all about his green rage problem, and instead of being horrified, instead of running, she was oddly excited by it. She'd been saucy, flirty, and determined to engage him, despite what could happen. Even Natasha, who was beautiful in a very deadly sort of way, had been very cautious and a little fearful of him when she'd come to 'ask' him to help find the Tesseract. While Bruce thought that caution and fear were by far the wiser options, it had still hurt.

Even after avoiding her for several weeks, Darcy hadn't been discouraged. She'd scolded him, been a little naughty, and accepting, as always.

Still, he was only sharing information about Tony.

He finally raised his hand to knock on her door, figuring that if he stood in front of it any longer, Jarvis might decide to notify Darcy of his presence. The AI had been created by Tony Stark after all, and Bruce wasn't quite sure if he trusted Jarvis yet.

He heard a muffled exclamation from inside, and briefly wondered if maybe he should have waited until the following day, during working hours, to update the young woman. His hand decided against that, and knocked again, just before the door was yanked open.

"Yeah?" Darcy asked, a little impatiently.

Bruce had been thinking about what he wanted to say, so it was already coming out of his mouth. "Uh hi. I wanted to let you know that Tony will be fine and…" He trailed off in astonishment, eyes going impossibly wide, and a flush hitting his cheeks. His first thought was that she was naked, because the only thing his stunned mind could register was very shapely, very bare, legs. The toenails were painted in a riot of colors, like she'd tried multiple bottles to see which color looked best.

His eyes slowly trailed up those legs, and Bruce nearly choked, nearly fled, when he realized she wasn't actually naked, but her panties (yellow smiley face) were exposed. Instead, he cracked a grin at the absurdity of those panties, and his traitor eyes continued their slow slide up to the hem of her shirt, noticing the very recent food stains. When his eyes followed the trail of food stain up to the swell of her chest, Bruce's mouth went suddenly very dry. Darcy was…unrestrained. He swallowed hard, hoping that the heat blooming in his face was not a blush, and finally met her eyes.

She was amused, lips quirked in a smile, and those blue eyes sparkling. "Well hey there, Dr. Moppy. Like what you see? Are you here to take me up on my offer from when we first met, since I saw you naked again?"

Bruce stumbled through his excuse as to why he was there, trying not to sound like the awkward teenager he felt like. Darcy didn't look like she bought it, leaning against the doorframe and assuring him that she had 'skills' when it came to manipulating the Other Guy.

He tried to warn her, but maybe his heart wasn't really in it, because he couldn't deny the facts. _She talked the Other Guy down._ She literally…wrangled…the Other Guy. Okay, maybe that thought came from watching too many reality shows since moving in, but Bruce didn't know what else to think about it. From all accounts, his other self was completely wrapped around her finger. How did that happen?

Darcy scoffed at his lame attempt to point out the Other Guy's unpredictability (attacking Thor). "He _punched_ Thor. Thor can take it. So can Steve, from what I've seen. They're fine, just jealous and grumpy that they couldn't talk Big Green into giving up Tony. Stop avoiding me."

He made one more halfhearted effort to dissuade her, which had Darcy glaring at him. When she commanded him to not avoid her, he gave in to defeat and agreed that he would not. If that defeat felt more like a victory, Bruce buried that reaction deep within, ducked his head, and walked away. That was the safest course of action. For Darcy.

He wasn't expecting her to show up in his lab a few days later with takeout lunch.

"Uh…hello?"

Darcy shook her head. "You make it sound like a question. Hello Bruce. How are you today?" She dropped several brown takeout bags on the table in front of him. Bruce had to admit, the smell was very enticing.

"Um…fine?"

Darcy sighed. "Again, it's a question? Let's try once more. How are you today, Bruce?"

The quiet snicker from near the door could only be Tony, and Bruce's mouth quirked. He was going to thump on the billionaire when he got the chance. Or maybe prod _him_ with sharp, pointy objects. "I'm fine, Darcy," he said decisively. "How are you?"

She flashed a smile. "I'm just peachy, thanks! So I asked Jarvis about your favorite takeout meals, and had an assortment delivered."

"Oh." Bruce blinked, trying to figure out why she had done that. Had he requested lunch? He didn't always eat lunch. It was easy to get distracted when working. Especially if working with Tony. "Is there a reason you did that?"

Darcy hung her head. "Doc, you're killing me here. Do you remember me telling you that I wasn't giving up until you adored me?"

Bruce couldn't stop the small smile from escaping his control. "I remember that, yes." He took his glasses off and slid them into his shirt pocket. "So, what? You figure that feeding me would be a good start?"

She looked back up at him with a wry smile. "You know the saying. But I thought you probably wouldn't go out to lunch with me, at least not yet, so I brought lunch to you."

It would really be a better idea if she didn't keep pursuing this. Being around him was dangerous.

"It smells really good," he heard himself offer. "I…um…I have a little office in the back, with a desk. That's where I usually eat. We could…we could go back there."

His whole face went hot when he heard the not-so quiet 'score!' from near the door. Bruce idly wondered if the Other Guy could be convinced to thump Iron Man the next time they worked together.

But the huge, beaming smile that Darcy gave him was completely worth it. "You're a sly one, Dr. Moppy. All avoidance tactics and now suddenly, you're agreeable. I'm not complaining though. Not at all." She picked up the takeout bags and waited expectantly.

Feeling a little self-conscious, Bruce stood and led the way. He was aware of the curious stares of the few lab assistants assigned to him, and couldn't stop himself from wondering what they were thinking. It probably wasn't good. Here he was, the lecherous old man, having lunch with the young woman who probably was young enough to be his daughter.

But the food did smell really good, and he didn't have it in him to disappoint her when she looked so happy that he agreed. And it would be really nice to have lunch with someone who wasn't a S.H.I.E.L.D agent or super hero.

His desk was a mess as always, so Bruce just swept the papers to one side. Darcy plopped the bags of food down on the clear spot and began unpacking them. Oh yeah. Bruce was salivating a little, but he wasn't sure if that was due to the food, or the cute little shake of the rump Darcy was doing as she set the food out. Was she dancing?

"What do you call that?" he had to ask.

Darcy gave another little tail shake, and looked up at him with a wink. "It's my 'the food will taste great' dance. Did you ever have bad takeout? It ruins the whole day. So I do my little begging dance, and it's all good."

Bruce let out a small chuff of laughter. "Do you really think that's why the food is good?"

"I don't leave anything to chance, Dr. Banner. I haven't had bad takeout since I started doing it, so I'm not going to start. It's like baseball players and their superstitions. I do this instead of wearing the same underwear."

Bruce couldn't stop his mouth. "The smiley face ones?"

Darcy squealed in delight, clapping her hands together. "Oh you naughty person, you!"

Bruce wanted to staple his mouth shut. How could he have said that? He was totally being a lech right now. He was…he was being Tony!

"Is it possible that deficient mouth filters is a condition that's contagious?" he asked, sitting carefully in his chair.

Darcy pulled up the only other chair in the office, but didn't sit down. She went over to the door and pulled it shut, glaring out at two lab assistants who were leaning back to peek in.

The click of the door latching was very loud in Bruce's ears, along with the increasing pounding of his heart. "Um…I'm not sure that closing the door while we're in here together is a good idea."

Darcy flopped into the other chair, thankfully on the other side of his desk, and grinned at him. "Afraid I'll have my wicked way with you?"

Bruce blinked. "Well…yes. Kind of. I mean, you're very persistent about this, even though it isn't really safe to spend a lot of time in my company. And I'm a lot older than you, and I could _hurt_ you." He wanted to shrink into a little ball after that little bit of eloquence. Now he was even talking like an awkward teenager.

Darcy stared at him, a small satisfied little smile playing around her lips. "Relax Bruce," she said finally. "I want to have my wicked way with this food right now. Later on, after we've been dating for awhile, we'll totally have wicked lunch booty in here. But right now, we'll just get the rumor mill started."

Bruce was aware that his mouth was hanging open a little bit, and his pants had grown a little tight at the mention of wicked lunch booty in his office. That hadn't happened in so long that he really couldn't think of anything to say, and he was very afraid that she was unraveling his control. And he could only hope that things would calm down if he ate something, because he wasn't going to stand up in _this_ condition. Darcy and his lab assistants would enjoy it too much.

Darcy cocked her head at him. "You okay, Doc?"

He shook his head. "I think you're actually worse then Tony."

"Nah. Just a different set of skills. Eat up, Bruce." She twirled a plastic fork between her fingers, then dug in.

Bruce let out a shaky sigh, picked up his own fork, and began scooping food up. He needed something to concentrate on other than the dangerous little minx sitting across from him.

They fell into a companionable silence. It had been so long since Bruce had eaten with someone normal, and it felt really nice. It helped fill some of the emptiness inside him.

Darcy ate more food than he was used to seeing lush women eat, and finally put her fork down with an almost pornographic moan. "Oh my god that was good." He watched her suck sauce off of two of her fingers with a loud smacking noise, and almost growled as his pants grew even tighter.

"You're a tease," he accused in a rough voice, finishing off his mouthful of food and carefully setting his fork down.

Darcy met his eyes. He felt like he could drown in them, because they accepted all of him. She reached out and patted his arm. "I'm only a tease, Bruce, if I don't plan to go through with the things that I hint at. That's clearly not the case here." She gave him a saucy wink.

She was not helping his problem. Bruce swallowed hard. "Thanks for clearing that up for me." He ducked his head, and then looked back up. "Thank you, for this. It's been a really long time since I had a normal lunch with a regular person. Well, you're not really regular. You're unique. But you're not an agent, or an Avenger, and it's just…it was really nice."

She nodded. "You got it, Bruce. I have to warn you, I'll probably make a habit of this." She glanced down at the table, folding her hands together and portraying a lack of confidence in her body language that Bruce did not expect. "You can feel free to initiate lunch too, you know. You don't have to be alone Bruce." She looked back up with a grin. "Or with Tony all the time."

He nodded slowly. "I…I appreciate the company, Darcy."

That seemed to be a signal to her. She stood, and began gathering the leftover food, bagging it up and presenting it to him. "Here. I know you scientist/genius types. You get so wrapped up in what you're doing that you forget to eat. Take this with you so you have something."

He wanted to protest, but she had it pegged perfectly. It would be nice to have the leftovers. "I…that's very thoughtful. I can't say you're wrong."

Darcy snorted softly. "I work for Jane. She has a Pop Tart problem. As in it's one of the only foods she will eat on her own. It will make me feel better to know that you have a few good meals there."

"Thank you," he said softly.

She winked. "Just part of my campaign, Doc Moppy. I better get back before Jane skins me, but I'll see you around."

He nodded. "Okay. Thanks again."

"Sure." Darcy angled a pointed glance down at his lower half, hidden behind the desk. "Not gonna walk me out, Bruce?"

He felt like even his ears were blushing. "Ah…I think I should stay here for now."

Darcy's grin told him she suspected exactly what the problem was. "Then my job for today is done. See you, Bruce."

"Bye," he called softly as she sashayed over to the door and opened it.

"That was the best ever, Bruce," she remarked loudly as she headed for the lab doors. "Thanks for a fantastic lunch!"

Bruce groaned as heads appeared in his line of sight, wanting to see if they could catch him in a compromising position, maybe. Tony was one of them, and he was beaming.

"You coming out of there sometime today?" the billionaire asked.

Bruce mentally tested the tightness of his pants, and decided not yet. "Eventually," he assured. He winced when Tony cackled in glee.

It was going to be a long afternoon.


	7. Chapter 7

_Hope you enjoy. This chapter gave me warm fuzzy feelings. Please review, love it or hate it!)_

* * *

Darcy took Bruce lunch for two weeks in a row. Sometimes it was home-cooked, once she had a better idea what he liked outside of takeout, and sometimes it was just takeout. She honestly wasn't sure what he enjoyed more. When she'd brought him a home-cooked meal, he had been clearly astonished that anyone would expend that much time on him, and he'd stammer through a heartfelt thanks that made Darcy's heart melt a little.

But he also very much enjoyed 'the food will taste great' dance.

Still, it was a little tough on her self esteem that Bruce didn't try to reciprocate during that time. She'd dropped plenty of hints that she would really enjoy someone bringing her lunch, or going out to eat, but he hadn't acted on it. Then again, she hadn't really given him the chance, since she brought him lunch every day.

Jane decided to keep working through lunch one day, and nothing Darcy said would dissuade her. She was going to leave for lunch anyhow, but Jane was in a bit of a fevered state, and she didn't trust the astrophysicist not to do something rash, like keep working until she fell over.

"Jane you have to eat something," she said, for the fifth time. "If you don't eat something, you'll pass out, and then who will do your wonderful science stuff?"

Jane muttered under her breath, checking some data, and held her hand out absently. Darcy knew this game, and had a Pop Tart ready to go. She had tried to get Jane to eat healthier options when in this state, but the sugary goodness seemed to inspire, and Jane would refuse anything else.

She was doling out pieces of Pop Tart to the distracted woman when the lab doors opened. Darcy glanced up, and did a double take as she realized Bruce was standing there awkwardly, looking horribly uncomfortable, eyes sweeping the lab. When he saw her, scooting behind Jane on a wheeled chair, Pop Tart crumbs all over her from breaking the pastry into little pieces, one corner of his mouth twitched up in an insecure smile. He held up takeout bags, and raised his eyebrows.

Darcy glanced at the clock, and realized that she had worked right through her normal lunch time. And holy shit, _Bruce brought lunch to her_. Ohmigod – Progress! Jane was on her own for a little while.

"Hey there Dr. Banner," she greeted, standing and brushing crumbs from her legs.

Bruce came toward her, uncomfortable in a different environment, and almost wincing away from the unabashed stares of the other two lab assistants. Darcy took two huge steps across the room to meet him.

He stared carefully off to one side. "I…uh…Jarvis said you hadn't taken a lunch yet, so I thought…"

Darcy beamed up at him. "Thank you, Bruce. I had to stay with Jane while the others were at lunch. She's burning through nervous energy faster than she replaces it, and when she's like this, she will only eat Pop Tarts."

The awkward half smile was too adorable for words. "I can relate," Bruce admitted. "Although I've gotten better at not letting myself get to that point. For me, at least, that state of being can be dangerous."

Darcy winked at him. "Yeah, I imagine Big Green wouldn't be happy if you accidentally starved yourself." She raised an eyebrow. "Ever happen?"

He sighed deeply. "I 'woke up' in the middle of a lunch buffet one time. Strangely enough, all the other restaurant patrons had decided to leave."

Darcy gaped at him. "You made a joke! Bruce! You made a joke about the Other Guy. That's awesome!"

He rolled his eyes. "Are you ready to eat, Darcy? I brought food."

On impulse, she threw her arms around him, ignoring the way he stiffened in shock, still clutching the takeout bags. "I can't believe you brought me lunch," she told him, drawing back.

Bruce seemed to be frozen, mouth slightly agape, staring at her. "Uh," he managed to stammer out. "Well, you've been bringing me lunch for awhile now. It's really only right that I do the same."

Darcy folded her arms under her chest, trying to boost them up without looking like she was boosting them up. "Well I appreciate it," she told him. Then she reached out to pinch his side, just to confirm it was pretty solid. "You've got some muscle under that lab coat, Dr. Moppy. You must work out, right?"

He blinked. "Yoga. And meditation. It's helpful in keeping the Other Guy under control."

Darcy squeezed his sides, and then ran her hands up the outside of his arms. "Who knew yoga could muscles like that?"

She took pity on him when he blushed, and patted his shoulders. "C'mon Bruce. There's a table back in the back where we usually eat."

He trailed after her awkwardly, not meeting the eyes of any of the lab assistants who were eager for gossip. Darcy gave him a break this time, and didn't make any sly innuendos. Well, for now at least.

Once they were settled in at the little table nestled in the back of the lab, Bruce unpacked the food. Darcy was quietly thrilled by what he was pulling out. It was all of _her_ favorites. He had ordered all of the foods she had gushed over in the past two weeks. Wow. He had listened and remembered. A little melty spot formed in her abdomen.

He was watching her for her reaction, trying to make it look like it didn't matter to him, but Darcy could read the insecurity behind his eyes. She shook a finger at him.

"I'm on to you, Bruce. If you're still trying to convince me to stay away, bringing me my favorite foods is a terrible way to go about it."

The small, pleased smile that he quickly hid made her day. "Oh…well…I thought I should get the foods that I know you enjoy. After all, you've been so kind to bring me lunch for two weeks."

Darcy flashed a grin at him. "Making my way from your stomach to your heart, Doc?"

He studied his food intently. "Maybe you're growing on me. Like a tumor." His lips twitched again, and Darcy laughed outright.

"And spreading through you like malignant melanoma?"

She watched for the smile, and it came, along with Bruce's eyes, rising from his food. "There's no cure for me," he admitted solemnly, but with a twinkle in his eye.

Darcy played along. "No emotional chemotherapy?"

And then they were both laughing softly. Darcy was just surprised. "I'll admit, Doc Moppy, I would never, in a thousand years, have thought that you would know the words to that song." She propped her chin in her hand and stared across the table.

Bruce ducked his head, but then looked back up at her. "I worked in a factory in London, when I was on the run. Some of my coworkers were very rabid Tim Minchin fans. The music…it grows on you like a tumor. Or a fungus."

Darcy snorted. "Wow Doc. You sure know how to sweet talk a girl. I'm a tumor, or maybe a fungus." She made a yuck face at him.

He shook his plastic fork at her. "I said the _music_ grows on you like a fungus. Not you." Then he tilted his head to one side. "Although, you do have the persistence of a really bad fungal infection."

"Ah ha! Now you _are_ calling me a fungus! Or a tumor! You're killing my self esteem, Bruce."

He raised an eyebrow. "And yet, you're still here." Then he frowned, and completely shocked her by reaching out to take hold of her hair. Darcy froze, not sure what to do, and afraid to spook him. Bruce's brow was wrinkled in concentration, and he tugged on her hair once, twice, and then sat back, a hefty chunk of Pop Tart in his fingers.

"Afternoon snack?" he inquired.

Darcy face palmed. "Maybe I got a little excitable when feeding Jane." She peeked out from between her fingers to look at Bruce. He stared at her measuringly for a moment, and then popped the Pop Tart fragment into his mouth. It was such a little thing, but it went straight to Darcy's fluttering abdomen, and she swallowed hard as little tingles hit her.

When the assemble alarm went off, Darcy nearly jumped out of her shoes. Bruce flinched a little, but then sighed in resignation as he stood.

"Gotta go save the world?" she asked, trying to make light of it. She stood hastily, and walked with Bruce to the doors leading out of the lab.

"I guess I'll find out shortly," he finally answered, glancing down at her out of the corner of his eyes. "Thank you for having lunch with me."

She impulsively hugged him again. "No. Thank _you_ for bringing me lunch. That's serious progress, Bruce."

He shrugged, tucking his glasses into his shirt pocket. "Well, Tony keeps insisting that I can be a mostly normal kind of guy."

She stepped back and beamed up at him. "Yep. You sure can. Go get 'em, Bruce."

She watched him walk away, shoulders slumped and head bent. He didn't like when he was called to action, because he had to let out that inner beast, and he still hadn't made peace with the other part of him.

With Bruce gone, her attention was pulled back to Jane, who was taking things to the extreme this time around. The astrophysicist was still in her nervous, ultra-focused state, and the other two assistants apparently were not acceptable to Jane's subconscious, because she totally ignored them. So Darcy picked up the Pop Tart she had put down when Bruce arrived, and continued to dole out portions of it to the slightly manic scientist.

When Darcy went for more Pop Tarts, she realized how much her focus had shifted from Jane as she only found an empty box. She looked for the other two assistants, but they were nowhere to be seen. Crap.

"Jarvis?"

"Yes Ms. Lewis?"

"Are there any Pop Tarts in the building?"

The AI sounded slightly reproving as he answered. "There are not. Ms. Foster has eaten the last of them."

Darcy gulped. "Jane can get pretty crazy if she doesn't have her Pop Tarts when in this mood. Can we get some delivered?"

"Regretfully, not at this time. Deliveries are not accepted during an Avengers assembly, for security reasons. They can resume once the team returns."

Fantastic. Darcy sighed. She'd seen the aftermath of Pop Tart deprivation. It wasn't pretty, and she didn't need another reason for Jane to be irritated with her. She didn't have any idea how long the Avengers would be out, and she just really didn't want to deal with Jane without Pop Tarts.

"Jarvis? The closest store to have Pop Tarts?"

"There is a small convenience store three blocks east of this location. Will you be going out, Ms. Lewis?"

"I have to," she huffed. "Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum seem to have deserted us, and Jane needs Pop Tarts."

She could almost see Jarvis's nod. "Very good."

Jane was fairly oblivious when Darcy told her she was going out for Pop Tarts. The astrophysicist was tapping a pencil against her lips with one hand, and consulting a clutched handful of spreadsheets in the other. She didn't really even acknowledge Darcy, other than a brief nod, so Darcy grabbed up her bag and headed for the elevators.

She hadn't been out in the city much since arriving. New York was huge; overwhelming to a small town girl like her, so it had been much easier to immerse herself into life in the Tower and ignore the sprawling city outside. Tony made sure that they didn't want for anything, so it hadn't been a necessity to go out, and Darcy hadn't.

She stood in front of the lobby doors for a couple of minutes, staring out into the bustling madness that was New York. Cleanup and rebuilding was still being done from the alien invasion, but it didn't seem like it affected anyone. New Yorkers were a hardy lot, she'd been told repeatedly, and they seemed to be living up to that reputation.

She wasn't nervous. Darcy told herself that several times as she stepped out onto the sidewalk and headed east toward the convenience store. After all, she was living with the freaking Avengers, right? No reason for her to be nervous. Just because she was all by herself, in New York, was no reason for nervousness. There were just so many people! She felt…exposed…and wondered if this was how Bruce felt around people.

But she made it safely to the convenience store, a little corner establishment, with no incidents. She didn't even really feel eyes on her, and that was probably more unusual, since Darcy had long ago become accustomed to people staring at her chest. Guys stared for the obvious reason, and other girls would look on her in envy. Hey, she couldn't help it! Nature had been kind to her.

She snagged a little shopping basket when she entered the small convenience store. She didn't care that Pop Tarts were probably much more expensive here. She just wanted to make sure they had plenty on hand at the Tower.

The simplest option was to brace the shopping basket against the shelf, and just sweep boxes of Pop Tarts into it. Darcy used her leg to help brace the basket and pulled the Pop Tarts off the shelf. She cleaned out all the varieties that she knew Jane liked, and then walked toward the cash register.

Raised voices didn't really catch her attention until Darcy emerged from the aisle and froze, staring at the two men at the register, both with guns pointed at the clerk. Oh shit. She didn't even have a chance to duck back under cover before one of the guys noticed the clerk's widening eyes, and whirled to confront her, gun swinging to point at her.

The second time having a gun pointed at her face was no better than the first, and this time, there was no one stepping in between her and that gun. Darcy swallowed hard and tried to slow her racing heart and ragged breaths. She felt seconds away from a full blown panic attack, and that wouldn't help the situation.

"Um…hi. Let's handle this like adults, okay? I don't see anything, and you stop pointing the boom stick at my face, okay?" Her voice sounded shaky to her own ears, and apparently to the would-be robbers, judging from the grins that spread across their faces. Where was Big Green when she desperately needed him? Wait. She had a panic button locator type thing she had been given when S.H.I.E.L.D began working with Jane. It was on her keychain. If she could get to that…

She took a step back. "Look, I'm just gonna go duck down and hide until this is over, okay? I didn't see anything." She sat the shopping basket on the floor, very slowly, and straightened, hands sliding into her pockets. "I'm harmless, ya know?"

The gun made a negative gesture, sliding through the air from side to side. "Take your hands out of your pockets," the guy holding the gun ordered.

"Okay." But not before she activated the panic button switch. She did so and pulled her hands out slowly, sliding them demurely down over her hips once they were free of her pockets. "Look, really. Can we just walk away?"

A brief shake of the gun told her that wasn't going to happen, and Darcy swallowed hard. The day wasn't supposed to continue like this. Bruce had brought her lunch, which was true progress! She didn't want to die before she at least got to kiss him. Because something told her that once Bruce let go of that iron control he had, he _would_ be a wild man, and she would probably never walk the same again. But that wasn't going to happen if she died today.

She wondered idly how long it would take a response team to reach her. The Avengers were doing their thing, so she was depending on S.H.I.E.L.D to save her ass. Whether or not that was a good thing…she didn't know. She didn't know where they were located in New York, because Stark wasn't sharing his tower with S.H.I.E.L.D. The scientists in S.H.I.E.L.D's employ were permitted, but not the regular agents, with the exception of Arms and Red.

The gun tapped her on the forehead, reminding her of its presence. Darcy blinked, and then gulped. It was menacing, this close to her face, like staring into the blackest depths of an abyss. "I don't want to get hurt," she pleaded softly. "See, I just started wooing this guy, and he's a little skittish, and today there was a breakthrough! I don't want to not get a chance to kiss him. And I kinda think that something really bad would happen if I die. He'd withdraw, and probably go on the run again, and I don't want that."

The gun withdrew, and she could see the face beyond it. The guy looked exasperated with her constant chatter. Well? What did he expect? Stoic silence? It wasn't in her nature. Who wanted to die in silence? Or get kidnapped, which was a possibility she hadn't considered. That wouldn't last long, since S.H.I.E.L.D would come after her, but things could happen before they found her. Darcy didn't want to consider the things that could happen, because they weren't pleasant.

The two thugs were talking quietly to each other and she couldn't make out what they were saying. Were they going to kill her and the store clerk? Things didn't look good right now. Darcy's eyes were burning with the effort to hold back tears, and her throat had closed up. It was hard to breathe, and she needed to blow her nose, but if she reached into her bag, she would get shot. Probably without any of the hesitation they were currently showing.

A sound in the distance caught her attention. An enraged roar that was familiar. The Avengers were close? That shouldn't be. Jarvis wouldn't have allowed her to leave the building if there was a battle nearby. So, what? Big Green was straying from the battle? As the roar got closer, Darcy almost burst into tears. He was coming for her! S.H.I.E.L.D would have notified their agents of her location, and Arms and Red may have conveyed that information to the rest of the Avengers.

"Oh you guys are in so much trouble," she breathed, feeling that little tingle return to her stomach. "Cuz my guy is on the way and he is gonna flatten you."

She felt Big Green land from one of his prodigious jumps. The store shuddered on its foundations, and one of the windows shattered. Both thugs whirled toward the street, guns swiveling to face this new threat. For a moment, nothing unusual could be seen through the broken window, but then Big Green was pulling himself through, snarling. The clerk yelped and dove behind the counter, while the two would-be robbers took hasty steps back. One of them noticed that Hulk's eyes were locked on Darcy, and he grabbed her arm roughly, pulling her in front of him to use as a shield.

Darcy cried out at the harsh bite of fingers on her upper arm, and stumbled to the side as she was pulled. She wound up with a hand squeezing her throat while the gun muzzle pressed to her temple.

"It's one of them Avengers!" the other robber hissed. "Why is an Avenger coming to her rescue?"

"Cuz I got friends in high places," Darcy squeaked out. Her eyes were glued to Big Green's. She could see the restrained violence in his quaking muscles. He was itching to unleash on the robbers, and barely under control. "S'okay, Big Green. I'm gonna ask these guys to let me go, and they will, and then we'll let them leave, okay?"

Hulk snarled, spittle flying from his mouth. He slammed his fists into the ground and gorilla hopped forward. The guy holding Darcy swore softly, and shook her a little.

"See this? You hurt me, I kill her."

Hulk's roar was deafening inside the little store, and another window blew out. The big green guy was in full rage mode, and was not attacking only because Darcy was being threatened. He lifted one arm and extended one finger, pointing directly at Darcy. The finger was trembling in barely suppressed fury.

"Hulk's," he snarled, more spittle flying.

Terrified or not, in life threatening peril or not, Darcy still got the biggest thrill of her life when Big Green claimed her. Poor Bruce didn't stand a chance. Not when his angry green alter ego adored her.

"Hear that, sucker?" she hissed to the guy holding her. "I'm his, and if you hurt me, you will be a stain on the floor."

He wasn't buying into it, apparently, because Darcy was pulled backwards, toward one of the small aisles of merchandise. The hand around her throat had tightened and she was struggling to draw in air. Her hands rose to pull at the fingers around her throat, and the guy snarled, using the butt of the gun to club her in the head. Darcy saw stars and felt her legs give out.

She heard a gunshot, and another snarl from Big Green, and a body flew past her and crashed into a refrigerated display unit filled with sodas hard enough to tilt it back against the wall. Big Green really didn't like it that she was being threatened.

"Shit," the guy holding her swore in a small, scared voice. Darcy couldn't feel too bad for him. He was leaving bruises around her throat and he'd hit her hard enough to draw blood. She could feel it trickling down her cheek.

"Let me go and you'll have a chance," she croaked. "I'll try to calm him down."

Hulk didn't like that idea, and hopped forward again, roaring. The guy holding Darcy lunged backwards, crashing into a merchandise shelf and knocking it over. She shrieked as they toppled to the floor, but his hand left her throat, and as soon as her feet were under her, she could make it to Big Green's side. A shadow fell over her, and she looked up to see the soda display case falling toward them as the merchandise shelf hit it low enough to overbalance it. She tried to scramble free, but the thug seized her arm in a death grip, and Darcy could only throw her remaining arm over her head in a futile effort to shield herself. Then came pain and darkness.

She had one brief moment where consciousness returned and she was cradled in warm arms. Hulk was making distressed noises above her head, so Darcy reached up to pat his cheek. "Gotta get Pop Tarts for Jane," she rasped out, and then darkness took her again.

* * *

Voices pulled her from darkness. Darcy felt pain before anything else, and remembered that something big had fallen on her. She was having trouble swallowing too.

"She'll be okay," an unfamiliar voice stated. "But she'll be in pain for days. The left arm is pretty banged up, since it took the most weight. Luckily, the display case couldn't fall flat or she might not have been okay."

Darcy could hear voices of the individual Avengers and Jane, but no Bruce. Where was Bruce?

A door banged open. "Can someone tell me why there is a Pop Tart shipping trailer in front of the building?"

Uh oh. Dread Pirate Roberts did not sound happy. Then what he said registered, and Darcy laughed weakly.

"Hey! Hey Kick Ass! You're awake?"

"Hey Tony," she greeted in a raspy voice, finally prying her eyes open. Tony was hovering over her, and he was a mess. His hair was madly ruffled, and he had bruises and cuts on his face. "What happened to you?" she asked.

"Well, see, we were in the middle of a battle and Legolas had to open his mouth and tell us that your panic button went off. So the big guy deserted us to go save you, and we could have used his help."

"I'm sorry," Darcy breathed.

"Do not apologize, Darcy," Thor said as he leaned over her from the other side. He looked completely normal, of course, with no signs of battle. "We would not forgive ourselves had you been more seriously injured."

Nick Fury appeared at the end of the bed Darcy was laying in. "Hello? Pop Tart trailer? I've already had reports that a big green monster stole it. Can someone explain why that happened?"

"Jane needed Pop Tarts," Darcy explained, wincing as her throat started hurting. "That's why I was at the convenience store."

Old One-Eye frowned. "That still doesn't tell me why there is a whole shipping trailer in front of the building."

"I think I mentioned I needed them for Jane after I was knocked out."

Jane appeared beside Thor. "You didn't stop talking about it," she confirmed. "As soon as the medical staff had you, Hulk took off again." She shrugged. "I guess that was to get Pop Tarts."

A huff drew everyone's eyes to the door of the room, which was apparently in Stark Tower. Darcy blinked, but Big Green was still standing there, looking very tired. A little sparkle lit his eyes when he saw her, and he lumbered across the room, breaking floor tiles as he went. Tony drew back so the big guy could get closer, and Hulk sank to the floor beside her bed with another huff.

"Hurt?" he asked in a voice that was like rocks in a blender. He reached out with one gentle finger, but didn't quite touch her.

Darcy curled her hand around that finger. "Only a little," she assured. "You brought Pop Tarts for me?"

He nodded and leaned forward until his head was resting on the bed, pressed against her side. Darcy ran her free hand through his hair, and he seemed to relax a little. With a gentle exhale, his eyes closed. Darcy's soon followed.

When she woke up again, it was Bruce who was leaning into her side. She could tell by the gentle exhales against her arm that he was still sleeping. Darcy bit back a smile. One of his arms was thrown loosely across her stomach, and the other was under her shoulders. Holding her safe. She wondered if he'd done that while still Big Green, or when he'd reverted to Bruce. He had a sheet draped across him, but she could see skin underneath. He hadn't moved.

A soft voice intruded. "Jarvis? Be sure to get a picture of that, okay?"

Darcy felt a little bit of irritation. "Really Tony?" she asked quietly, looking up.

The billionaire was leaning against the doorframe of what was obviously a medical recovery room. Darcy vaguely remembered that when Tony remodeled after the alien invasion, he'd had a whole floor put in devoted to medical care for the Avengers.

Stark smirked. "I don't want him to be able to deny it later," he explained softly. "He brought you a whole tractor trailer full of Pop Tarts, you know."

Darcy bit her lip. "That's gotta be bad press. Did you return it?"

"Nah. Found out where it came from and purchased the whole shipment, plus a generous bonus. I told them I was having a Pop Tart craving."

Darcy's eyebrows went up. Tony could pretend he was a hard-ass, but he'd just outed himself. "Wow Tony. Can you handle that? Being so kind?"

He rolled his eyes. "I was overcome by warm fuzzy feelings when I observed Hulk's love-besotted gift to you."

Darcy sighed, ignoring the pain it caused. "Keep telling yourself that. You're just a big softie."

"Maybe." His eyes softened for a moment. "Keep at it, Kick Ass. You'll win Bruce over eventually, but I think it may still take some time."

She was pretty sure that it would. "Thanks Tony."

He waved as he walked away.

Darcy was getting drowsy again (hallelujah for painkillers!) when Bruce stirred. He'd drooled onto her arm a little, but Darcy didn't mind. She watched him twitch with an indrawn breath, and his nostrils fluttered as he presumably breathed in her skin scent. Instead of bolting upright and stammering an apology, he exhaled deeply and rubbed his cheek against her arm. The stubble on his face tickled a little, but Darcy relished the contact. She reached across with her other arm and brushed her fingers through his hair, ignoring the pain.

"Are you okay?" His voice was raw and pained, and she wasn't sure whether that was from post transformation or the fact that Darcy had gotten hurt. He didn't look up.

"I'll be fine. It didn't fall flat on me, so I'll just be sore for awhile."

Bruce's exhale was shaky. He stayed where he was for a few minutes, and then finally sat up. The sheet that had been draped over his shoulder slid down his back, and Darcy was presented with a healthy eyeful of naked Bruce chest. That was a _nice_ sight.

He pulled his arms back with a little blush, but didn't stammer an apology, just gave an awkward smile, and gathered the sheet around his waist. He rolled his shoulders, and even Darcy could hear the clicks and creaks.

"It can't have been comfortable sleeping like that," she offered. "Why don't you head back to your room? I was about to take another nap anyhow."

Bruce nodded. "Painkillers making you drowsy?"

"Yeah," she admitted. "But that's okay, because there's less pain."

He reached out and gently touched her neck. Darcy knew there were bruises there, even though she hadn't seen them. Then he winced and touched her forehead, where she'd been clubbed. Finally, he ran a finger down her left arm. It was cut in several places, and there were very angry, ugly bruises blooming on her skin. It hurt the worst.

"I'll be fine," she assured. "Go. Sleep somewhere comfortable."

He nodded again and stood, sheet clutched around his waist. "If you need anything, just tell Jarvis to notify me."

Darcy's elation rose sharply within her, and she tried to be sure it wasn't showing on her face. He didn't want her to tell Jarvis what she needed. He wanted her to have Jarvis notify him. Now she had the warm fuzzies.

"I'll do that," she promised softly. "Thank you, Bruce."

He offered a small smile. "Good night, Darcy."

The room seemed empty without him, and Darcy titled her head so she could stare fondly down at the drool on her arm. In time, the painkillers lured her to sleep.

* * *

_The song referenced earlier in the chapter is Tim Minchin's You Grew on Me. I'm not a fan, and I'd never heard the song before, but when I was Googling a phrase to describe how Darcy was growing on Bruce (I wanted to use something scientific, like a Latin name or something) I came across lyrics for this song. It fit perfectly, so I went with it._


	8. Chapter 8

OMG you guys. Over 50 reviews for the last chapter! I had over 30 in the first four hours after posting it. You guys rock! I'm so glad you're enjoying this story so much! Your words give me inspiration! A big thanks also goes out to those who have reviewed as guests, and those that have private messaging turned off, since I couldn't thank you personally. Please continue to review, because it just really gives me warm fuzzies knowing that you're invested enough to take the time to comment.

So…what happens now that Hulk has claimed Darcy as his and Bruce is almost ready to stop holding himself back?

* * *

Darcy was expecting to be in a lot of pain when she woke the next morning. She was not disappointed. Even before she opened her eyes, pain registered on every inch of her body. The left arm was the worst. She'd been assured that it wasn't broken, but the sharp, bone-deep pain was just tortuous. If she hadn't managed to break a bone, she just wished it didn't feel like she had. A slight gasp escaped her as she tried to shift positions.

"Darcy?"

Darcy pried her eyes open in surprise. Jane was sitting by her bedside, nibbling in agitation on her bottom lip, brow creased in concern.

"Oh hey, Jane," she greeted. Her voice sounded (and felt) like broken glass. Darcy's good hand flew up to her throat, processing just how much it hurt. Swallowing was even more difficult than the day before.

Jane frowned, and brushed at her eyes. Darcy tried not to stare at that, because there was no way Jane Foster was crying over her. No way.

"Darcy…you…you didn't have to go out to get Pop Tarts. I would have been fine."

Darcy shook her head minutely. "I've seen how you get, Jane, remember? It's my own fault for not keeping an eye on our inventory."

Jane shrugged. "You've had other things on your mind. Other goals. I was irritated at first, with your lack of focus. But then I remembered what I was like when trying to find a way back to Thor. You stuck by me and put up with all of my bitchiness." She looked down at her hands, clenched in her lap. "You scared me. When Jarvis told us that you'd been attacked and hurt, and that you were being brought in to medical…"

Darcy swallowed painfully. "Hey don't worry about me. I have a big, green boyfriend to protect me."

Jane frowned briefly, and then looked up to meet Darcy's eyes. "I didn't like the idea of you pursuing Dr. Banner. I'm still not sure if I do, because of the danger factor. But I can't deny that there is chemistry between you. And while chemistry isn't my forte," she grinned with an old joke, "I'm willing to go on faith that things will work out for the best. Anyhow…I'm sorry for being less than supportive. You were my rock in the year that we were trying to get Thor back. And I haven't really been yours and I'll do better."

Darcy sniffed, and wiped her eyes. "Don't make me cry," she rasped. "It hurts too much."

Jane half laughed, half cried, and carefully hugged her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

A small noise at the door drew their attention. Bruce stood there, eyes still puffy from sleep, pillow creases on his face. His hair was flattened on one side, and a wild bird's nest on the other. He was wearing low slung sweat pants and his usual button up shirt. It was not tucked in and only three misaligned buttons were done, exposing a slice of skin above the waistband of his sweat pants. He was barefoot and stubbled.

Darcy stared, mouth hanging open. Beside her, Jane also stared, mouth open even wider. They had never seen Bruce looking so…well…like he just rolled out of bed. Bruce always looked somewhat rumpled, but put together. Right now he didn't look together at all.

His eyes darted back and forth between the two of them, and then he ran a hand through his hair nervously. "Um…Jarvis notified me that you were awake," he said to Darcy, voice sleep-roughened.

"And you rolled right out of bed, pulled on a shirt and came to see me?" she asked in her damaged voice. She didn't miss his wince and look of sympathy at the sound.

"I…I wanted to make sure someone was with you," he explained, still tugging at his hair. "I didn't want you to be alone, in pain."

Darcy sighed, and tilted her head to one side. "Doc, you just made my morning. And just so you know, I'm totally imagining that it's my bed you just rolled out of."

He flushed only a little, and had to shake his head with a smile. "You bounce back quickly," he offered.

She smiled at him. "Hey, Big Green totally claimed me yesterday. I think that's enough of an excuse for imagining you rolling out of _my_ bed in the morning."

"You need an excuse?" he returned quickly, one corner of his mouth quirking up into a smile.

"No, not really."

Jane stood and excused herself hastily. Bruce only smiled and walked across the room to sit in the chair she had vacated. He pulled over a rolling table that held a cup of water, and two pills.

"Painkillers," he said, with a pointed look.

Darcy winked, because that didn't hurt too much to do. "So…trying to knock me out to take advantage of me, or to keep me quiet, Doc?"

He raised an eyebrow. "How could I possibly take advantage of you when you're the one pursuing me?"

"I'm helpless right now, at your mercy." Darcy tried her hardest to look vulnerable.

Bruce wasn't buying it, and rolled his eyes. "Your taser is in the bag beside you. You are not helpless. Although keeping you quiet…that's an idea worth exploring." He transferred the cup to her waiting hand, and then dropped the painkillers into her free hand.

"That was a zinger, Bruce. I totally didn't expect that from you." She dumped the pills in her mouth and took a grateful swallow of water to wash them down. Swallowing hurt enough to bring tears to her eyes.

"I'm full of surprises," he returned, snagging a tissue and pressing it into her hands. Darcy dabbed at her eyes, and took a deep breath. Wow. Overnight it seemed they had moved steps forward in their…whatever.

"Do you remember?" she asked quietly.

"Bits and pieces," he answered. "I was still me when Barton relayed that you'd hit your panic button. He must have given the address, but I don't remember that part. Everything went green." The corner of his mouth twitched. "I remember the Other Guy pointing at you, claiming you."

Even though it hurt, Darcy did a fist pump. "Ah hah! That's because I'm awesome, Bruce. And you know it!"

Bruce inclined his head. "It seems the Other Guy is convinced. I'm a tougher sell, you know. There's things I have to worry about that he doesn't."

She'd heard this before. "Social acceptability? Bodily harm? I'll be gentle, I promise."

Bruce snorted. "You know I'm worried about you getting hurt because…because of the Other Guy."

Darcy spread her hands. "Uh…hello? I managed this all by myself, Bruce. If it wasn't for the Other Guy, I'd probably be dead right now."

He clenched a hand into a tight fist. "You are probably hurt worse than you should have been because of him."

She frowned. "How, exactly, did you come to that conclusion?"

Bruce shrugged, dragging his unclenched hand through his hair. "If they hadn't been confronted by the Other Guy…"

Darcy smiled tightly. "That's an easy one, Bruce. If they hadn't been confronted by Big Green, then you and I wouldn't be having a chat this morning. I'd be in a body bag."

He winced. "You don't know that for sure."

"Nope. But luckily, my big, green, boyfriend came to my rescue, and I didn't have to stare down the barrel of a gun. Again." She batted her eyelashes at him.

The mood, which had been sliding away from the easy flirtation they had begun with, swung right back, to her relief. Bruce was trying very hard to suppress a smile. "Your big, green, _boyfriend_?" he asked.

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Well duh, Bruce. He claimed me, remember? We're involved. I have to update my Facebook status!"

He shook his head. "How will you explain that you're dating the Hulk? Well actually, I'm betting S.H.I.E.L.D wouldn't even let you." His forehead wrinkled. "You can't tell anyone outside of those who already know." The ghost of a smile surfaced again. "That must be very frustrating for you."

"Another zinger. You're in rare form this morning, Bruce."

"I've spent too much time around Tony, I think," he admitted. "It's having a negative effect on my personality."

"Yeah it must suck. Having those few moments away from the relentless despair and self-loathing. Having normal conversations with people without visibly being worried about breaking them. That all must suck big time for you."

He glanced down at the floor for a minute. "Being around people who know about my…problem…and choose to stay around me, not flinch away or shoot at me…it's something new. I'm still adjusting."

"I get that, Bruce. Just don't close yourself off from others, okay? You don't get to make the hard choices for us. That's on us."

He looked up at her, eyes conveying a jumble of feelings that Darcy couldn't sort out. "But what if…what if someone gets hurt?"

"Then we get hurt," Darcy said decisively. "None of us are really bubble type people, trying to avoid all dangers."

"You and Jane and Pepper, you're more breakable than the others though."

Darcy frowned at him. "Sexist, much?"

"No. You'll notice I didn't include Natasha in that list. I just call them as I see them."

She snorted. "Just because I don't wear a skintight catsuit doesn't mean I can't kick ass. I have a taser, you know."

"It wasn't really a help against those guns though, was it?"

Darcy shook her head. "You've definitely been around Tony too much. That had snark to it."

Bruce's mouth twitched in a suppressed grin. He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately, but Darcy preferred it over the angst-ridden expressions. "Well, it's hard not to snark when you spend time with Tony Stark."

She giggled. "And you're poetic, too." She batted her eyelashes at him. "Face it, Bruce. Between me and Big Green, we'll wear you down."

He didn't say anything, just fought that grin again, hands nervously twisting in the bed sheet.

A tousled blond head peeked in the door. "Darcy!"

She looked up, smiling at Thor. "Hey your hunkiness. You didn't have to come check on me. Jane already did."

Thor's expression was quite serious. "It is a duty, and one I partake of gladly, to ensure the well being of comrades or those under my protection." He frowned. "You should not have come to harm, not while under my protection and the protection of Dr. Banner's other self."

Bruce flinched, and Darcy looked at him questioningly. "Sorry Thor," Bruce apologized, staring down at the floor. "Tony told me that you got in my way yesterday, when I heard about Darcy." He turned then to look up at the Asgardian. "Sorry about that."

Thor heaved a huge sigh, and waved a dismissing hand. "It is of no matter, Banner. I am not used to being so humbled. It does not sit well, but I am adapting."

Darcy had to laugh softly. She just had to. "It's one of those important life lessons we talked about, Thor. Realizing that there is someone stronger than you. It forces you to use your mind and think."

He scratched his head. "Thinking through a problem was never really my strong point. That was always Loki's-"

Seeing the pained look that crossed his face, Darcy really wanted to hug him. Thor didn't talk about it too much, but the betrayal of his brother had left deep wounds. He had thought Loki dead, after the rainbow bridge thing had been destroyed, but instead, Loki had fallen into nefarious hands. He emerged on Earth at the head of the alien army, and sociopathic, where before he had only been troublesome.

"Well you don't have him to think for you anymore," she said softly. "So you have to get used to doing it." Then she smiled. "Start thinking of how to make Big Green like you."

Bruce groaned and hid his face in his hands. "Honestly Thor, I have nothing against you. Or Steve. The Other Guy just seems to like to hit both of you."

"That's because they can take it," Darcy said wisely. The painkillers were kicking in, thankfully. "I'm getting sleepy, Thor. Make sure Bruce doesn't take advantage of me while I'm out, huh?"

"Darcy!" Bruce's yelp was pitched high, and the expression on his face was priceless. She wished she would have had a camera to capture it. When he raised his hands and backed away, chased by Thor's dark glower, she had to laugh.

"Oh Bruce…your face! Thor…I was _joking_!" she assured quickly, as the Asgardian's right hand began to rise. "Don't call Meow Meow so you can Whackamole Big Green."

Thor tilted his head with a perplexed look, and Bruce shook his head. "Darcy, I have no idea what you have just said," the god admitted. "Banner?"

Bruce shrugged. "You're not supposed to call…someone? And you're not supposed to hit the Other Guy."

Darcy made a brief hammering motion with her closed fist. "Meow Meow, Thor. Don't put the hammer down on Big Green."

Bruce nodded wisely at Thor. "Strong painkillers can scramble the brain," he explained. "Although with Darcy, it's hard to tell."

Thor's loud laughter was insulting. "Hey…" she protested. "That's not fair."

"Fair?" The blond prince walked into the room, and crossed his arms over his chest, raising one eyebrow. "You call the mighty Mjolnir 'Meow Meow" and you expect us to be fair?"

Darcy pouted at him, trying to really pour it on, but she was getting hazy with the painkillers, and couldn't give him the full effect. "Bruce? Help me out?"

The scientist bit back a grin. "You're on your own with this, Darcy. While I do think Thor has an unnatural attachment to his hammer, it's still not nice to call it by silly names."

"Unnatural attachment?" the god sputtered. "What are you suggesting, Banner?"

Darcy laughed at both of them. "I need to take a nap. You guys get out of here. Unless Bruce wants to stay to take advantage of me."

"Darcy!" he protested again. "You can't _say_ things like that."

She yawned, eyes growing heavy. "I can say anything I want to, I'm an invalid."

She was vaguely aware of Bruce and Thor sharing wise looks as her eyes slowly closed. "Ah," she heard Bruce say. "She's that kind. I'll keep that in mind for the future."

_Awe_, her fuzzy brain thought. _Bruce sees us in the future._

"Now Banner, know that I do not trust you with Darcy while she sleeps," she heard Thor say as she finally drifted off. _Hahahahahahaha…_

* * *

Darcy was kept in medical recovery for two more days, while the worst of the pain passed. She was bruised from head to toe and looked like someone had tie-dyed her skin. She couldn't move without hissing in pain, and the left arm felt like it had been steam-rolled.

After her painkiller-induced fun, Thor refused to allow Bruce to stay in the room while she slept. Poor Bruce took it in somewhat good humor, with a little smile whenever Thor would take up his 'virtue-guarding' stance, as Darcy called it. The Asgardian would stand five paces from her bed, arms crossed over his chest, with a grim expression on his face.

On her last night in medical recovery, the painkillers were not succeeding in putting her to sleep. Darcy finally opened her eyes, and sighed. Her virtue guard was still in position, and he turned to look at her.

"Unable to sleep?"

"Yeah," she admitted. "It's just not happening right now. You know, you really don't have to stand there and guard me, Thor. I was joking. Bruce would never take advantage of me while I was sleeping."

"I know this," her guard replied, with a slight smile. "But it makes Dr. Banner smile whenever I do it, and I will try anything to gain an advantage with his inner beast."

Darcy was surprised into laughter. "You're making this big show of guarding me against the lecherous Dr. Banner just to make him smile?" She shook her head. "Now I think that _you_ are spending too much time around Tony, Thor. That's just devious."

His smile was a little sad. "I did not spend centuries with my brother without learning how to manipulate events to my best advantage."

When the medical team released her the next morning, Darcy was able to climb out of bed, dress in normal clothes in her tiny little bathroom (clothes brought by Jane, thank you), and shuffle back to her bed to rest. Everything hurt, and she wasn't sure if she was ready for the hike down the corridor to the elevator, and then to her apartment.

When Tony and Bruce arrived in her room with a wheelchair, Darcy promised eternal gratitude to both men. They were nice enough to help her into the wheelchair, and wheel her back to her apartment, several floors up.

"You'll start feeling less pain each day now," Bruce assured her.

That was good news. "But what am I supposed to do now?" Darcy asked, pouting up at both men. "Someone should stay with me, to make sure I can move when I need to."

Bruce didn't even blink. "We thought of that, so Natasha volunteered to keep an eye on you. Jarvis will notify her if you need assistance."

Darcy clapped a hand to her heart. "Bruce – you wound me. This would have been the perfect opportunity to be alone without the guardian of my virtue glaring at you."

Bruce's mouth twitched, and Tony just threw his head back and laughed. "Sorry, Darcy," the billionaire apologized. "Bruce has deep moral hang-ups about tumbling into bed with an invalid."

It took another two days for Darcy to feel remotely human and be cleared to go back to work. She didn't lack for company in that time. Even though Natasha was her 'guardian', she saw Jane, Thor, Tony and Bruce on a regular basis. Natasha came in only twice. Once when Jarvis notified her that Ms. Lewis was stuck in the middle of her bed, unable to roll either way or sit up (and wasn't _that_ just humiliating when the S.H.I.E.L.D agent finally came to her rescue), and once again after Darcy shared a dinner with Bruce.

She hadn't been expecting Bruce to knock on her door, takeout bags in hand, as the day was just turning to night. She'd propped her door open, not wanting to feel closed off from everyone else. When the soft knock sounded, and she called for whoever it was to come in, there was Bruce, food bags in hand, looking adorably uncertain yet again.

"Have an appetite?" he asked softly.

She couldn't help it. She'd been behaving all day. Darcy ran her tongue over her upper lip and peered at him over the top of her glasses. "For you, Bruce? Always."

He flushed bright red and blinked at her, and then smiled and shook his head. "I set that one up for you quite nicely, didn't I?"

"It was perfect," Darcy agreed with a wink. "Sure Bruce, I can eat. Get you a drink?"

He shrugged. "Sure. Water would be fine."

Darcy rose from the sofa, painfully, and made her way across to the kitchenette, where Bruce joined her. She snagged plates from the cabinet and handed them off the Bruce, and then grabbed two bottles of water from the refrigerator. After he had spread their food out on the plates, they walked back over to the sofa and settled in. Darcy marveled that once again, Bruce had ordered her favorites for her.

They ate in companionable silence, with only the TV for sound. Darcy hadn't really been watching it. She'd been daydreaming. Actually, she'd probably been about five minutes away from touching herself, since her thoughts had been exclusively of Bruce. She couldn't get the picture out of her head of him all sleep tousled, with thrown-on clothing. She'd seen him naked, so she wasn't sure what the appeal was of the slice of skin she'd seen. But it had been very appealing, and she had been imagining her hands on that skin, right above the waistband of his sweatpants ever since.

Food was a slight distraction from those thoughts, but Bruce's proximity, sitting on the sofa cushion beside her, was going to drive her nuts. It was his warmth, and his scent, she decided. The man was like a furnace, practically radiating heat, and he had his own unique scent. She could smell the barest whiff of some type of cologne, but there was also the lab scent, a tangy combination that she'd become quite familiar with in her time with Jane. And finally, there was a scent that was all Bruce's, and smelled something like Big Green. It all blended together to create a pleasing scent that was complimented by his radiating warmth.

Darcy didn't realize she was leaning toward that warmth until their shoulders brushed together. She didn't react, as if she didn't notice, but Bruce froze for a moment. She was sure he would move further away, but he didn't, and instead angled his knees toward her a little, so that they were lightly brushing her right leg.

Darcy was almost scared to breathe. She wondered if he was reacting consciously, or if his subconscious was now guiding him.

Then he took a long drink from his water bottle, and she just stared at the movement of his neck as he swallowed. She wanted, desperately, to put her mouth on his throat. To feel the warmth of his skin and the muscles of his neck move as he swallowed again.

Oh no. She was ovulating.

Darcy could always tell when she was ovulating, because her body went absolutely nuts with the desire to mate. She had heightened awareness of the men around her, almost constant low-level arousal, and was more likely to flirt madly. It didn't always strike hard, but this one was going to be a doozy, she could tell.

She drained her own water bottle in one long pull, and thought that the safest course of action was to put some distance between herself and poor Bruce. She tried to rise too quickly, and pain flashed through her whole body to remind her that she was not in her usual shape. A hiss escaped her before she could stop it, and Bruce turned to her in concern.

"You okay?" he asked, setting his own bottle back down on the coffee table.

"Just tried to move too quick," Darcy told him. She was not looking at his forearms, displayed by his rolled up sleeves. She really wasn't.

"What do you need?" He was close, leaning in toward her in concern, having no clue of the wicked thoughts flashing through her mind.

"I need to get up," Darcy almost squeaked. "I just…I need more water, and it's better if I don't stay in one position too long, so I need to get up."

Bruce placed his plate down on the coffee table and rose. He turned to face her and reached out to take her by the arms. "I'll help," he assured.

Darcy tried to rise, but there was a very sore spot on her left thigh that was giving her problems, and she was struggling. Bruce applied steady force on her arms, and pulled her up the rest of the way. Darcy found herself suddenly upright, standing bare inches away from Bruce. He bent his head to peer at her face, concerned by her silence, just as Darcy tilted hers up to thank him. They both froze, lips close enough to touch, and Darcy wanted to make that move, but didn't. She could feel his breath puffing softly against her mouth and found that her hands had come to rest on his chest when he pulled her up.

It was so sweetly painful.

Under her palms, Bruce's heartbeat increased, along with the warmth radiating from him. Darcy could not move, for fear of unleashing her inner need, but her hands did curl slightly, bunching Bruce's shirt. She didn't know if the small sigh came from her mouth or his, but it was Bruce who leaned forward the half inch required to bring their mouths together.

For one awful, terrifying moment, he froze. Darcy wanted to cry in that moment, because she knew that he was thinking of all the reasons why it was really stupid of him to be kissing her. Her hands gripped his shirt tighter against the inevitable withdraw, but instead, Bruce only made a small noise and seized her bottom lip between his, pulling gently. His mouth began to move on hers, pressing small kisses to her plump lips, nipping with his teeth and soothing with his tongue.

Darcy, stuck in a moment, suddenly blinked and realized that _Bruce was kissing her, and she wasn't kissing him back! _She corrected that problem immediately, lips firming against his, opening to draw him deeper. It was tentative at first on both parts, but as their tongues tangled and their breath mingled, it moved into comfort, and then boldness.

He tasted like that elusive food she sometimes craved, without ever knowing what it was. The craving that sent her out on a grocery store run on a day she'd rather stay in sweats, yet when she got home, nothing of what she bought tasted like what she wanted. The craving that meant no matter what she ate, nothing satisfied. There would still be a growling emptiness in her stomach because it only wanted this unknown food.

Bruce satisfied that craving.

Darcy gasped for breath against his mouth, hands fisting even tighter into his shirt, pulling him closer. One of Bruce's hands uncurled from her upper arm and slid up to cup her cheek, angling her head so he could delve deeper into her mouth. Darcy's eyes, squeezed shut in pleasure, opened just the slightest, to peek at Bruce. His eyes were shut tightly, though she couldn't tell if that was in fear or pleasure.

Darcy couldn't get enough. She'd felt cheated all her life in her interaction with the opposite gender. From the boys she'd let grope her in high school, to the self obsessed jerks she'd dated in college, they'd all fallen short. Not a single one of them had managed to fill up that empty, craving space inside of her. Not even when she'd had a mild panic attack at thinking she might be a frigid bitch, and gone on a mad dating spree for three months. Fifty guys in 92 days. Most hadn't made it beyond heavy petting because they did nothing for her. They aroused neither her body nor her mind. At the end of that mad binge, Darcy had sworn off dating for awhile, hoping against hope that it was just some weird stage in her life and it would pass.

Now though, she realized what had been missing. Maturity. They were boys, every single last one of them, focused mostly on themselves without a thought for the world beyond them. Meeting someone the polar opposite, who was so intensely focused on others rather than himself, had opened her up to new possibilities.

Bruce conveyed that maturity and levels of deep emotional pain in his touch, which was tentative and reverent at the same time. His thumb softly stroked her cheek while his mouth continued to consume her. She tasted desperation, and a terrible, abiding sadness that brought the sting of unshed tears to her again closed eyes.

A noise at the door pulled Bruce's mouth away from hers. Darcy opened her eyes and saw an open-mouthed Steve Rogers over Bruce's shoulder, frozen in place, hand raised to knock against the door frame. He swallowed hard, and withdrew out of sight.

She lifted her eyes to meet Bruce's. He appeared shell shocked, mouth open, panting for breath. His thumb was still stroking over her cheek as his eyes flicked over her face as if memorizing her. His eyes were slightly glazed.

She wanted to cry when he pulled away from her, blinking. Now he would flee, she knew.

"I…I need to leave," he told her breathlessly, walking backward toward the door, away from her. "Keep the food."

Darcy couldn't even formulate a response, still tongue tied from the mind-numbing kissing of moments before. She reached a hand out, but Bruce was already turning, walking through the door. That empty place inside her cried out for him, but he was gone.

She sat back down on the sofa numbly, wishing desperately that he hadn't fled. She didn't know where she stood with him now, if that blissful kissing had undone weeks of work getting him to relax around her, or if it had merely scared him. The food that had tasted so wonderful while eating sat like a leaden weight in her stomach.

Darcy exhaled, shrinking into herself a little. Her mind was still fuzzy, not able to think far beyond that incredible kissing. She wanted more. She had suspected that before, but after having sampled the edges of what could be, she wanted the whole thing. And Bruce was running from her.

She managed to stand up again, gathering up the food and taking it to the kitchenette. After it was wrapped and put away, and she'd downed another bottle of water, Darcy headed to the door. Now she felt like being closed off. So she kicked aside the small doorstop, and turned to go back to the sofa.

A whisper of noise told her that someone had slipped inside before the door closed. Darcy drew into herself even further. "Not in the mood for company anymore," she warned, walking slowly, painfully, toward the sofa.

"I would not consider myself company."

Natasha's clipped tone brought Darcy to a halt. She reluctantly turned back to face the assassin. "Oh? What do you consider yourself then?"

Natasha shrugged with one shoulder, expressionless as always. "A friend, perhaps. Do not give up, just because of this minor setback. Bruce has held himself apart from others for a long time. It is terrifying for him to let people close. He needs some time to process."

Darcy sighed deeply. "Some part of me knows that, but most of me just feels rejected."

"That is a natural way to feel. Also choose to remember that he came to you. _He_ kissed _you_." The tiniest twitch of her mouth looked to be Natasha's idea of a smile. "He will return to you. I have no doubts on this."

It made Darcy wonder if Natasha had been physically watching them, or viewing a Jarvis feed (despite her orders that there would be no cameras active in her room). Judging by how quickly she'd appeared, Darcy was betting that Natasha had been watching from somewhere close.

"What do I do now?" she whispered.

"Continue as you had been before," the S.H.I.E.L.D agent advised. "Bring him food tomorrow. This will let him know that you do not intend to allow him to push you away. Wait for him to seek you out again."

"I hate waiting."

The assassin cocked her head. "The best things in life are those worth waiting for." The ghost of a smile crossed her face. "If you don't believe me, ask Clint." She withdrew to the door, and opened it to slip out. "Have faith, Darcy."

As she curled up on the sofa again, lips still tingling, Darcy knew Natasha was right. It didn't mean she had to like the waiting part though.


	9. Chapter 9

Well…a little unexpected action at the end of last chapter, but Bruce is still afraid. What will happen next? Just wait…

I continue to be amazed at all the wonderful people that have chimed in on this story. Thank you so much!

And just for those that asked…Hulk's POV (briefly!)

* * *

The cold shower was absolute torture. Little icy pricks on his overheated skin did nothing to quiet the green tinged maelstrom surging in his head and whirling through him. Bruce leaned forward so that both hands were braced against the shower stall wall, and tried not to flinch as the cold water pounded down on him.

He could still taste her.

He could still feel the softness of her skin.

One hand clenched involuntarily, cracking tile under it. He needed to forget what happened earlier. It would only serve to agitate him further, and certain areas on his body didn't need to be further agitated. It had been years since this type of physical reaction last happened. Bruce had shut it down, prevented his body from reacting to physical desires. Darcy had broken past that self control in remarkably little time.

He stepped away from the shower stall wall, wincing as the cold water struck the part of him that needed to _calm the hell down_. It was not in line with his plans, though, and ignored the cold water. Bruce finally tired of torturing himself, and switched the water over to hot. In seconds, steam was surrounding him. The warm water helped relax some of his muscles, but it didn't relax everything.

He needed his body to calm down so he didn't go racing back to Darcy's room and ravish her. She was vulnerable right now, after the scare she'd (he had) had. Being threatened with a gun, being used as a shield while a hand was clamped around her throat…that type of thing could linger. Darcy was tough, but she was a little rattled and trying to hide it. Clinging to someone safe, such as himself, was a side effect. He needed to not take advantage of that fact. But his body had other ideas.

Conceding defeat, Bruce reached for the soap. He'd just help things along then.

* * *

Wet. Hulk was wet. Hulk didn't like wet. Stupid metal thing, spitting on him. Broken metal thing now. More spitting. Retreat. No more spitting.

Pretty. Pretty hurt. Pretty okay?

Door. Door keeping Hulk in. Away from Pretty. Broken door now. Find Pretty.

Pretty's door. Pretty angry if door break. Pretty okay?

….. Pretty okay? Pretty angry if door break. Pretty? Okay?

Voice without body. Telling Pretty to open door.

Door open. Pretty! Pretty talking! Pretty so pretty.

"Big Green…what the hell? You're wet. And…ohmigod! You're naked! I did not need to see that."

"Pretty."

"Oh…well, thanks. You're pretty handsome yourself. And buck ass naked. Usually the pants survive for a little. Um…why are you wet, Big Green? Why are you here? Because your calmer self took off not too long ago like I was threatening his virtue or something."

"Stupid."

"Yeah. I'll agree with that. Um…why don't you come in here with me, and I'll get you a blanket."

Pretty, nice.

* * *

The first thing Bruce saw when he opened his eyes was Tony Stark's gleeful face, a mere two feet from his face. He groaned and shut his eyes, but when he opened them again, Tony was still there. Apparently, something had happened. And whatever it was had given Tony fodder to use against him for the next twenty years or so, judging by the billionaire's expression.

"What, Tony?"

"Oh nothing," the billionaire replied. "Just totally enjoying the fact that your green self apparently busted out while you were showering and came to visit Darcy."

Bruce flinched, and then looked around. He was in Darcy's living room, on the sofa with a blanket wrapped around his lower half. "How…how do you know I was in the shower?" he asked.

Tony's smirk was really annoying. "Jarvis notified me when you hit the hallways, wet and naked. Plus, oh you know, showerhead broken off the wall in your place, water spewing everywhere, cracked tile. It was classic when we found it."

Bruce scrubbed a hand across his face, trying to remember. He'd been taking a shower. He remembered that. Before that, he'd been with Darcy. There had been kissing! Oh shit. He ran. He ran from her and jumped into the shower. And certain things needed to calm down, but wouldn't, so he decided to help…

Well…even more shit. Apparently, physical relations were still off the market if the Other Guy had chosen that moment to make his appearance. Dammit.

"He was naked?" he asked, resigned to utter mortification from Darcy. Wherever she was.

Tony's grin was cheerful. "Yup. And not bothered by it at all."

"He never is."

"What I wonder," the billionaire mused, tapping his chin thoughtfully, "Is why you Hulked out in the shower, and came to visit Darcy."

"Who knows why the Other Guy does what he does?" Bruce tried to play it off, so that Tony didn't make any connections, but he was a freaking genius, and he connected events too quickly.

"Oh my, Bruce Banner," he said with a wide-eyed, open-mouthed look of astonishment. "Were you…_touching yourself_ in the shower?"

Bruce flushed. "Tony, I really don't want to discuss this right now."

"You were!" the billionaire crowed triumphantly. "Little Kick Ass got your boxers all in a bunch!"

"Tony, I need you to shut up now," Bruce warned. His eyes darted back and forth, seeking Darcy's location. She couldn't be too happy with him. He'd fled and then the Other Guy had shown up.

"She's taking a shower," Tony assured in a softer tone. "And while I would love to see the expression on her face if I told her that you Hulked out while touching yourself in the shower, I kinda think you might smash me."

"You're right. I would," Bruce growled.

"Why are you so cranky?"

Hmm…it seemed Tony couldn't connect all the dots. "I'm cranky, Tony, because…because I couldn't…I couldn't finish without the Other Guy making an appearance."

"Oh." The billionaire was silent for almost a minute, which was probably a record for him. "That kinda puts a damper on your love life, doesn't it?"

"Why am I friends with you?" Bruce asked in complete exasperation.

Tony shrugged. "Because I challenge you to break out of your box. Because I'm one of the few people that you can have a conversation with. Because I'm extremely supportive of your anger management issues?"

Bruce buried his face in his hands. "You're not helping right now, Tony."

"Well, you took me by surprise with your little revelation there." He scratched his head thoughtfully. "So you can't…?"

"No," Bruce growled again.

"Geez big guy, no wonder you're so tense."

"Tony, I swear…"

The billionaire held his hands up defensively. "I'm sorry. It's habit, okay? I'm an insensitive ass. Just ask Pepper."

Bruce heaved a sigh and stood up, grabbing for the blanket wrapped around his waist to make sure it didn't fall. "I need to go."

"Uh, no. Not a good idea. You need to be here when Darcy finishes her shower." He folded his arms across his chest and paced.

Bruce clenched his jaw until it ached, fighting the urge to punch his friend. "Tony, she's not gonna want to see me right now. I sort of kissed her earlier, and then, um, ran away. Sort of."

He watched Tony's eyebrows climb. "You kissed her? You kissed her? Way to go, big man! That's progress!"

"I can't follow through with anything, Tony. Remember? A little green problem?"

The billionaire titled his head to one side with a frown. "Do you think that's the only interest Darcy has in you? Kinda shallow, Bruce."

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose in agitation. "I'm going, Tony."

"I'd prefer if you didn't run away from me for the second time in one day," another voice called softly.

Bruce turned slowly. Darcy was leaning against a door frame, obviously the bathroom judging by the steam coming out of it. Her hair hung in damp tangles, and she was wearing an oversized tee shirt with loose shorts. Her body language was not confident. She had folded her arms across her chest, but she was leaning back, away from the two men. Bruce's stomach clenched at the idea that he had caused her to doubt herself.

"I really should go," he tried, feet itching to just run away from this confrontation. But, she deserved to have her moment of tearing him apart. He owed her that much.

"If you head for that door, Banner, tasing will be the least painful thing I do to you," she warned, voice still deceptively soft.

He gulped, and didn't move. When Darcy pointed one finger at the sofa, he sat. Then they both looked at Tony.

"What?" the billionaire asked, with a smirk. "Oh wait. Can I make popcorn before the show starts?"

"Tony…out." For such a little thing, she packed a lot of threat into those two words.

Bruce thought it was probably the smartest decision in Tony's Stark's life to date that he closed his mouth over whatever he wanted to say, and hurried out the door. As soon as it latched behind him, Darcy straightened away from the door frame and walked toward the sofa. Bruce watched her approaching with a great deal of trepidation, not sure what was going to happen.

Her sitting down beside him and reaching out to take one of his hands was not what he expected. Bruce stared down at their hands, and then looked back up at her. Darcy's expression was a little wary, but also a lot more sympathetic than he had expected.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"About what?" he countered, because he honestly wasn't sure where she wanted to start. The muscles in his shoulders and neck were tightening in anticipation.

She stared at him thoughtfully for a moment, then released his hand, and scrambled up to sit on the back of the sofa. Bruce tried to turn to face her, but she situated herself directly behind him, and placed warm hands on his shoulders. He tensed even more for a second before she began a soft massage.

"Oh," he groaned. That felt really good.

"So, Doc Moppy…I didn't peg you for the kiss and run type." Her voice was soothing, as soothing as her hands, gently massaging.

It had been years since anyone had touched him like this. So trusting;y, as if he couldn't explode right out of the confines of his body and crush them. So caringly, seeing that he was tense and tight and moving to fix that. So warmly, as if he hadn't run away after kissing her earlier.

"It was safer for you if I left."

"Ah yes. Protect against a possible threat. Hmm…didn't see one, Bruce. What I did see was the back side of a man afraid of the possibility of happiness."

He flinched. Daggers might have been less painful, or tasing. But those painfully true words tore through layers.

"I have a problem," he heard his choked voice tell her. And no, he didn't have any intention of confessing to this problem, but his voice seemed to have a different idea.

She dug into a knot at the base of his neck with both hands, and Bruce hissed. "Does it have anything to do with why you came back big, green, naked and wet?"

"It does," he admitted. "It also has to do with why I left in such a hurry."

Her attack on the muscle knot softened a little. "I'm listening."

Bruce was slowly slumping back into her touch. "Do you know why the Other Guy comes out?"

"Hmm…when you're in danger or hurt. When you get really angry. When you decide to let him out."

"If I get too excited, he comes out too. Adrenalin is a trigger."

He could hear her thoughtful humming as she thought about it, never once ceasing her gentle massage of his tense muscles. "So…any excitement?" she asked finally.

"Yes," he admitted softly. "Like when I'm kissing the hell out of a beautiful, brave woman who's holding onto me like she doesn't care that I sometimes turn into a monster."

One hand pinched his shoulder, hard. "I don't consider Big Green to be a monster," she warned. "He's big, he's green, and he's frequently misunderstood."

"Darcy." Why didn't she understand that he could hurt her?

"Bruce," she mocked. "I've never been in danger from Big Green since that first time, when he was all full of rage because someone tried to shoot you. As soon as I shot him with the taser, I moved into the category of protected."

"But you can't count on that, Darcy."

"He adores me, Bruce. His affections are freely given, without all this angst and bullshit. And…this is ridiculous. He's part of you. He is you, so why are we talking about him like he isn't?"

He tried to pull away, but Darcy's legs looped around his torso from behind and held him where he was. He could get away from her easily, but Bruce didn't want to. He didn't want to.

"Do you really want to be with someone that you can't be with…you know?" He fisted his hands on top of his thighs.

A hand ran through his hair, surprising him. "Are you saying you want to be with me, Bruce? Are you saying that we could have for-now sex-free dating?"

He flushed a little at her bluntness. "Darcy, who wouldn't want to be with you? You're beautiful. You're smart. You're one of the bravest people I've ever met."

"Flattery will eventually get you everywhere, Doc." She tugged on his hair. "Just so we're clear, is that a yes?"

He sighed. He couldn't fight it or her. She was too magnetic. Too full of life to deny. "Of course it's a yes, Darcy. Although it just might kill one or both of us in the future."

She petted his hair. "We'll figure it out, Bruce. We will." He could hear the hope in her voice, and it wanted to settle into him as well.

"We could always ask Tony for help," his rebel mouth opened up again and suggested.

The hand petting his hair paused. "If anyone could help to figure it out, it would be Tony," she said finally. "Does he know about this…problem?"

Bruce wilted. "He does now. He kinda figured out why the Other Guy made an appearance and then came straight for you."

She gave a throaty laugh, and then tugged his hair again. "If you were going for tension relief, Bruce, I would have preferred if you stayed here."

"And wrecked your space? The Other Guy totaled my shower, apparently."

Her hands moved back down to his back, kneading softly. "Serves you right for running. I'm tired of chasing after you, Bruce. I don't want to be staring at your retreating back all the time. It's hell on a girl's confidence."

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I didn't mean to make you feel like that. I just…I don't want to put you in danger."

"My choice," she said fiercely.

He sighed and slumped back against her legs. Even to his own ears it sounded like a surrender. But how could he say no to someone who, by all reports, had the Other Guy eating out of her hand (and delivering truckfuls of Pop Tarts). She had an advantage over every other woman in the world that way.

"I'm quite a bit older than you," he pointed out, eyes drifting closed as she continued to loosen muscles with her hands.

"Good, because guys my age suck."

Her tone was sassy, but Bruce wasn't reassured. "It could be dangerous for you or the hot, young stud you leave me for." He tried for a joking tone, but heard it fall flat.

Her hand briefly turned from kneading to stroking. "Nah. Me and the big guy will still be dating."

"Wha-what?" Bruce spluttered, and then heard her laughter.

"You already agreed Bruce. It's too late to chase me away."

He blindly reached one hand over his shoulder. Darcy caught it and slid her palm in against his, lacing their fingers together. It was foolhardy on her part, certainly, with the danger he brought with him. But as she had pointed out, being present at Thor's landing had already put a target on her back, and the Other Guy adored her. He was scared for her, but he didn't want to be alone any more, and he couldn't deny his own feelings. She confused the hell out of him, but she also excited him with her sheer zest for life. The world was a brighter place when she smiled. Or snarked.

If someone would have told him where the progression of events after dinner would lead, he wouldn't have believed them. But then, nothing had really been the same since Natasha tracked him down and shamed him into returning to the world he knew. In the past two months, everything had been fantastical and unbelievable.

"How have you dealt with the madness that your life has become?" he asked softly.

He could feel the shrug through her legs. "I went through my freak out after Thor left New Mexico to bitch-slap his brother. That was last year. Loki sent a giant robot to kill Thor, and I was at ground zero for that. After Thor left, and suddenly Jane is sort of working for S.H.I.E.L.D, I had a week before school started up that I just hid in my bedroom. It's really hard to process this shit, that we're not alone in the universe and what we know of what's out there is that they're a lot stronger, and they mostly look down on us."

Bruce chuckled a little. "I imagine they might have a slightly different opinion of us since Loki's invasion."

Her free hand ran through his hair again. "I heard that Big Green went medieval all over his Asgardian ass."

"You could say that."

Bruce couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so at ease that he could drift off to sleep with someone else around him. But the gentle soothing of Darcy's fingers had eased the usual edge he constantly felt.

"I should leave before I fall asleep," he told her.

"You don't have to."

"I think that, for now, it would be better if I go. Saturday is in two days. Let's pretend we're normal people, and do something together outside the Tower."

Her soft gasp was music to his ears. "Bruce Banner…are you asking me out on a date?"

He would give anything, do anything to keep that tone in her voice. So hopeful, and happy. So full of light to combat his darkness. "I am. Can you handle it?"

She snorted. "I was born to handle it. You're not getting out of this now. Jarvis?"

"Yes Ms. Lewis?"

"You heard Dr. Banner, right?"

"Yes Ms. Lewis. Dr. Banner has asked you out on a date. Congratulations."

"Please tell Tony about this right away," she continued. "He won't let Bruce back out."

Bruce groaned softly. "You're as bad as Tony is. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't intend to go through with it."

She released his hand so she could squeeze his shoulders, and then wrapped her arms around them. "Good. Now go, or I'll be tempted to pull your blanket off and ask you to stay."

Bruce practically melted from her warm embrace on his bare skin. "Shouldn't you ask me to stay before you pull the blanket off?"

He felt the point of her chin come to rest on his shoulder. "Nah. You'd probably be more willing to stay after the blanket is off."

Bruce had to force himself to get up before he asked her to take the blanket off. He ran a hand over her arms, loving the shiver he could feel from behind him, and then slowly sat forward. Darcy released him, and was smiling at him when he finally stood and turned.

"You are yummy," she told him, eyes running over his frame.

Bruce flushed, and clutched his blanket tighter. "I need to go."

Her eyes sparkled, and she bit her lip like she was about to bring out her inner hell child, but then she just nodded. "Okay. I'd ask if I get another kiss, but I think that's probably not the best idea right now."

Definitely not. Bruce walked backward toward the door. "I don't deserve you," he told her.

She grinned. "Look at it this way. After all the things that you feel you have to atone for, you probably _do_ deserve me."

Hmm…she might have a point. "Goodnight, Darcy."

Her voice wrapped around him like a warm blanket. "Goodnight Bruce."


	10. Chapter 10

Blah. A little fixing going on this chapter.

I am so sorry this update took so long. This chapter didn't want to be written. Plus, I'm not getting much time to work on writing right now while caring for an ailing parent. ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) really, really sucks.

* * *

Darcy waited until the door closed behind Bruce, and she was sure he was out of earshot. Then she grabbed a pillow off her sofa, smashed her face into it, and screamed. And again. And again until the tight, excited tension coiling through her had eased somewhat. Then she collapsed onto her back on the sofa, pillow still over her face, very glad that she'd taken a painkiller before Big Green had arrived at her door.

Natasha hadn't been gone for more than ten minutes when Jarvis had announced she had a visitor and should come to the door. After the way Bruce had fled, she really hadn't expected to open the door and see Big Green. Seeing him dripping wet and naked (_oh_ _her eyes!_...apparently, he Hulked _every_where) and acting shy was certainly a surprise. Then she had almost melted when he called her 'Pretty', and admitted that running away from her had been 'stupid'.

To keep her sanity, because she didn't need to be looking at … little Hulk… she wrapped a blanket around her big green visitor, who apparently didn't know how to knock, but was polite enough not to come barging into her space. It was adorable, really. He allowed her to wrap his lower half in the blanket, and sat down on the floor with her, backs against the sofa. Darcy talked softly to him, marveling at the rapt attention he gave to her, staring intently. She stroked his arm in a soothing fashion, and occasionally ran a hand through his hair.

Big Green's eyes were just starting to close when the door opened, without a knock. Darcy looked up to see Tony Stark's vastly amused smirk and sighed.

"Hey big guy," Stark greeted, strolling in without an invite.

Big Green huffed, and then started to shrink. Tony was quick to help Darcy wrestle the shrinking form up onto the sofa, and he laughed when she very primly rewrapped the towel once Bruce was himself. Since he was out, and she just couldn't stand looking at Tony's smug expression, Darcy excused herself to get a shower.

The pounding hot water relaxed her somewhat, and she hurried her drying and dressing a little when she heard voices outside the bathroom, indicating Bruce was awake. He would be freaked, she was betting, and ready to run again.

When she cracked the door open, the two men were having a rapid back and forth exchange. Bruce was on his way to the door, but Darcy spoke up and stopped him. After she kicked Tony out, the scene became so surreal that she wasn't even sure it was happening. She saw Bruce tensing when she sat down beside him, ready for her to yell or something, so she hopped up on the back of the sofa to massage his tense muscles.

Apparently, food and gentle massage were a surefire way to Bruce Banner's heart. He practically melted back against her, and most of the usual tension in his body just disappeared.

It took everything Darcy had not to shriek her triumph when he asked her on a date, so she made sure that Jarvis conveyed the information to Tony, so there could be no backing out. Bruce didn't seem like he was in the mood for backing out though, and Darcy was filled with so much quiet jubilation that it just had to come out when he left. She'd broken down his barriers finally!

Well, okay, she hadn't been expecting the bombshell he'd dropped on her about physical relations. If he grew too excited, Big Green came busting out. That could put a damper on any sort of naughty fun for now. As much as she adored Big Green, she didn't want to share a bed with him. That wouldn't end well for her. And Darcy-pancake wouldn't be a good thing for Bruce's well-being either.

But, as she'd told Bruce, they would figure it out. And maybe Tony _could_ help. Because not being physical with Bruce wasn't an option. Not after that melting kiss earlier. He tasted like everything she wanted, and Darcy wanted to see the good doctor lose control in a totally different way. It was the quiet ones you had to watch out for, or so the saying went, and it might have been invented for Bruce Banner. When he gave in to the passions simmering just below his surface…it would be explosive, and she really wanted to be there for that.

Darcy finally lifted the pillow off her face before she suffocated. Her heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was going to jump right out of her body. Two days was a very long time. Two days of wondering how their first real 'date' would go. Should she still take him lunch? She couldn't imagine not having lunch with him now, and she didn't want to not see him until their date.

She clenched her tingling fingers into fists, and willed her stomach to settle. But the butterflies were multiplying by the dozen inside her, and she felt a little short of breath. Ugh. Thank goodness the painkillers were going to put her to sleep soon.

* * *

Bruce, not really used to cell phones, used Jarvis as his means of communication. The AI calmly informed Darcy the next morning that Dr. Banner would join her for lunch, taking the question out of her head. Thankfully.

Darcy was not amused by Jane's quiet laughter as she got a little girlishly excited and squeaked after Jarvis relayed Bruce's message. She couldn't help it!

"Seriously Jane, did I ever laugh at your girlish flutter whenever you thought of Thor?" Darcy glared at her friend/boss, and twisted her hands nervously.

"All the time," Jane replied promptly. A smile warmed her serious face. "I'm really enjoying that you are completely nervous about this. It's so cute."

"Ugh." Darcy squeezed her eyes shut and massaged the side of her face where she'd been pistol whipped. It ached. Again. But since she was working today, she'd only taken half a painkiller. She could live with it. But the stomach butterflies might just kill her. The anticipation of her date might, too.

It was a small consolation that Bruce looked as wrecked as she felt when he arrived with their lunch. His hair was ready to host several families of birds, from the look of it, and his eyes were a little twitchy. Still, when Darcy did her 'the food will taste good' dance, an unrestrained smile lit his face.

"That's absolutely ridiculous, you know," he told her as she finally sat down.

Darcy grinned. "Yet you smile every time I do it."

He ducked his head. "Yeah." Then he glanced back up at her a little shyly. Darcy wanted to puddle onto the floor. It was so wrong for one man to be that adorable. It really was. She couldn't believe that all other women he had met had allowed him to push them away. Or…what about the old girlfriend? What was her name? Betty? Was she an idiot?

Staring at Bruce, with his moppy hair and his bottom lip clenched between his teeth while he looked at her through his lashes, Darcy knew that the woman was an idiot. Okay, sure, circumstances had probably been different. But how could she let this man go?

She wasn't aware she was staring at Bruce, chin propped on her hand, until he raised an eyebrow, pausing his forkful of food halfway to his mouth. "Um…what? Do I have food in my teeth or on my nose or something?"

Darcy couldn't stop the wicked, wicked grin that spread across her face. "Just imagining you naked."

Bruce flushed, eyes darting from side to side quickly to check who might be in hearing range. "You do that a lot, don't you?"

She frowned. "Well, not a lot. Because you seem to end up naked around me quite a bit. Green or normal."

His free hand came up to scrub at his face, the fork still hovering in mid-air. "I kinda noticed that. Completely unintentional."

Darcy reached out to tap him on the shoulder. "Subconcious speaking out," she corrected with a grin. "You want to take your clothes off around me, Doc. Admit it."

"It's my driving motivation for getting up in the morning," he replied dryly, fork finally finishing its journey to his mouth.

Darcy sighed, pulling her hand back to prop her chin again. "I know it's mine, Doc Moppy."

"That, I believe."

* * *

Darcy was extremely nervous for several reasons. One – this would be her first venture outside the tower in the week since the convenience store incident. While the whole situation had helped break down the last of Bruce's walls, she would be lying if she said she hadn't had nightmares about the gun that had been pointed at her head. Two – she was half afraid that Bruce would change his mind. Three – she was terribly afraid that something would happen to ruin the date, and that would chase Bruce away.

After pulling all the clothes she owned out onto her bed while trying to decide what to wear, Darcy gave in to defeat and slumped in the corner of her bedroom. It was going to be a disaster. She couldn't even decide what to wear.

"If I may, Ms. Lewis?"

Darcy raised her head from where it had been pressed against her knees. "Jarvis?"

"The green sweater is very flattering when paired with the 'skinny jeans' you rarely wear," the AI suggested.

Darcy blinked past her watering (not crying!) eyes, and stared at the green sweater. "It makes my hips look fat," she argued.

"It flatters your curvier form," the AI corrected, "And the color will provide a subconscious assurance to Dr. Banner that you accept all of him."

She sniffed, and stood, sliding her back up the wall until she was upright. The green sweater _was_ formfitting. And if Bruce liked her curves…

Momentary self confidence lapse over, Darcy moved with a purpose. She was meeting Bruce in less than two hours in the lobby of the tower. She had a lot of work to do before then.

As she was taking a shower, she almost had to laugh a little. It wasn't like Bruce hadn't seen her at her worst already. Bruised, hair not brushed or washed for three days, and in her comfiest sleep clothes. He hadn't turned away from her then, so why did she think that he might now? It was silly what lack of confidence could do. But then again, Bruce Banner had been rattling her since she met him, even if she never let on to that fact.

After she finished getting ready, wearing the green sweater and skinny jeans suggested by Jarvis, the AI assured her she was 'hot' and then apologized in an embarrassed tone for his terminology. Darcy just laughed, figuring Tony probably enjoyed it when his self-built nanny talked like him.

Looking at herself in the mirror, she had to agree. The green sweater flattered her curves quite nicely, offset by the skinny jeans and a cute little pair of flats. While she admired the hell out of Red, there was no way that Darcy was wearing heels while dating a superhero. The fact that Red could totally kick ass in them was awesome, but not for her. If she had to run for her life, she didn't want to twist or break an ankle. That would be a supremely stupid way to die.

Bruce looked nervous in his own skin when she arrived in the lobby, but still smiled when he saw her. Darcy smiled right back. Wow. The doc cleaned up very nice, when he tried. The hair was tamed, and the clothes fit well. She suspected they had been tailored, and Darcy could smell Tony Stark's influence all over that. The button down shirt was not the usual oversized one, but rested lightly against Bruce's frame. The pants just clung to his lower half, and Darcy couldn't help herself. She pointed a finger at Bruce, and then spun it in a circle.

Bruce sighed, but obediently turned in a circle. Yep. Just as she'd suspected, the doc had a very nice butt, and it was showcased in those form fitting pants. He had a very nice back, too. The shirt rested close to his skin, and she could see muscle definition. Yoga really did a body good.

"Looking fine, Doc Moppy," she told him.

Bruce finished his slow spin, and raised one eyebrow at her. He twirled his own finger, and Darcy spun around, arms out to showcase her awesomeness, and to hide her self doubt. The look in Bruce's eyes, when she finished her own slow spin, chased away any doubts she had. Yep, she looked hot, just as Jarvis had indicated.

"Like what you see?" she asked coyly, hands coming down to rest at her sides.

Bruce swallowed, eyes busy taking in her form fitting clothes. "Very nice," he praised in a tight voice. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep, visible inhale. "This will probably try my self control more than Tony."

Darcy almost squealed. Almost. Instead she looped her arm through Bruce's and pulled him toward the door. "Gee Doc…that's the nicest thing a guy has said to me in a long time."

He tilted his head down to look at her. "You should get out more."

With light hearts, they ventured out.

General discussion had led them to agree to dinner. Bruce was still a little too fearful of the Hulk busting out to make further plans than that, and Darcy figured she would ease him into it. They could always go back to the Tower and totally make out, which was what she was planning.

Bruce was so afraid of hurting someone that he would never push things when he felt close to losing control. Darcy was pretty sure that the only way he would be able to stop Hulking out when he, uh, needed relief would be to test those boundaries. And she had very, very serious intentions of testing those boundaries.

Darcy also smelled Tony's intrusion all over the restaurant reservations Bruce had for them. It was a very popular place without being too upscale, but it was packed. That made Bruce a little nervous, she could tell, as they were seated. His eyes were sweeping back and forth and he was chewing on his bottom lip.

"Relax Bruce," she suggested. "We're just two normal people, having a normal night out. Stop thinking about anything other than that."

His eyes darted back to meet hers. "Easy for you to say," he told her. "If I lose control, there are families here. Families."

Darcy folded her arms across her chest. "You work with people with families every day, Bruce. When you were in India, you treated people with families. Strangely enough, you managed to keep yourself under control then. What's so different now?"

He cringed a little. "I…the Other Guy…tore up Harlem a few years back. I feel a little guilty about that, still."

Darcy caught and held his eyes, hoping her own were telling him how awesome he was. "That was a few years ago, Bruce. You've worked hard since then to learn control. Besides, I'm very good at guiding Big Green, cuz he adores me. I would totally distract him from tearing up parts of the city."

Bruce laughed out loud, and then looked startled that he had. He blinked, shook his head wryly, and reached over to pat her hand. "I think you _would_ keep him distracted."

Darcy beamed at him, and turned her hand over so she could lace their fingers together. There was a small, initial spasm in his hand, but then his fingers tightened around hers. One corner of Bruce's mouth twitched up in a small smile, and Darcy thought it was the most at ease he'd looked since she met him.

And she totally couldn't help it as the waitress approached. "Remember how we met, Bruce? You totally threw yourself in front of a gun for me."

He actually rolled his eyes as their waitress squee-ed a little, and proceeded to gush over them for several minutes. But he didn't try to pull his hand away, either, and Darcy liked that. They were having a moment.

She was tempted to act out the restaurant scene from When Harry Met Sally, simply because it would totally fit their relationship thus far. But she figured that one person (Tony) trying to push Bruce until he Hulked out was enough. Besides, she wanted to see him lose control in a very different way, in private. Darcy wasn't really an exhibition type girl, and she knew poor Bruce would be mortified.

She also couldn't help but notice a woman staring from a couple of tables over. The pinched expression looked faintly disapproving, and Darcy figured it must be because of the age difference. She didn't care at all, but she knew that it was a thought at the back of Bruce's head, so she made sure his attention stayed on her.

He nearly jumped through the table when her foot, wiggled out of its shoe, slid up his thigh underneath the table. She didn't think she was imagining the green flash of his eyes as he jumped high enough to rattle the table, and then settled back down with an apologetic glance at nearby patrons. A couple of deep breaths later, he pressed his legs together, trapping her foot.

"Agreeing that you could probably keep the Other Guy distracted wasn't an invitation to court disaster," he remarked calmly, while Darcy tried to pull her foot free.

She grinned cheekily. "Awe c'mon Bruce. Tony may be an irritating ass most of the time, but I happen to agree with his philosophy that you need to test yourself more, rather than less." After several strong tugs, her foot was still a prisoner. "Yoga must be kick-ass, Doc, cuz those are some mighty strong thighs you got there."

He stared at her for long enough to almost make her uncomfortable, then smiled toothily. "All the better to squeeze you with, my dear."

Darcy nearly squealed in delight. "Ohmigod, Bruce. Are you totally doing the Big Bad Wolf routine with me?"

He rubbed a hand absently through his hair. "Trying to. No more hijinks in here, okay? If we're going to be testing my boundaries, it should be in a place that's prepared for the consequences."

Darcy grinned. "Oh, we'll be testing your boundaries all right. In the Tower, or did you have somewhere else in mind?"

Bruce gaze was very direct, and heated enough to make her toes want to curl. "In the Tower is fine. Tony can afford it."

Darcy clapped while tossing her head back and laughing. "Be sure to tell him that. I want pictures of his face when you do." She tugged again, and Bruce allowed her foot to slip free. It might have been really fun to continue, but it was perhaps a little too soon to be having naughty hijinks at a restaurant.

"Nick Fury is gonna kill me, isn't he?" she asked, propping her chin on her hand so she could stare at Bruce.

He mirrored her, staring right back. "I doubt it. He wouldn't do something to intentionally upset me. Besides, he's keeping tabs on the situation."

Darcy blinked. "What do you mean?"

Bruce's face took on a somewhat solemn expression. "I'm willing to bet that there are at least two agents close by. Maybe even having dinner here."

Her stomach dropped. That was wrong. And honestly, she'd never even considered the possibility that S.H.I.E.L.D would have them followed. It was a level of spying that Darcy wasn't really ready to accept. They were just being two normal people right now! Would S.H.I.E.L.D really do something like spy on them? Her introduction to S.H.I.E.L.D, when they had first confiscated Jane's equipment, had opened her mind to a darker world, but she was only skimming the surface of it. Being a part of that darker world, being spied on simply because she was in Bruce's company…it was more than a little freaky.

Her internal struggle must have shown in her face, because Bruce's creased in sympathy. His hand, fingers still threaded through hers, tightened in comfort. He had grown used to this life. So much so that the thought of being followed and monitored by S.H.I.E.L.D didn't seem to upset him.

"You're something else," Bruce told her, shaking his head softly. "You faced down the Other Guy with nothing more than a taser, but the thought of being followed by agents is freaking you out?"

Uh…yeah. She was Darcy Lewis, and while she freely acknowledged her own awesomeness, she wasn't important or dangerous enough to be followed by secret agents. And it was creepy. If they were here, where else were they?

"I'm gonna…I'm gonna have words with Fury," she decided, a little shakily. "Not gonna be followed."

Bruce's forehead wrinkled in concern as he took in her continuing freak out, and then a careful mask slipped over his expression. "I'm sorry Darcy. It is a bit much, isn't it? It will always be an issue around me. S.H.I.E.L.D won't let me out and about without a contingency plan…just in case. It's part of the sacrifice I made when I agreed to remain a member of the Avengers."

Her internal freak out was interrupted when Bruce withdrew his hand from hers. Darcy blinked and stared at him. He was pulling away, pulling back inside himself. To protect her. Oh hell no.

"Bruce."

"I understand," he told her in an emotionless tone, eyes staring resolutely at the floor. "Not everyone adapts as well to this kind of life. Not everyone wants to be the subject of secret agent scrutiny."

"Bruce." She reached for his hand, but he pulled it off the table completely and let it fall listlessly onto his lap.

When he scooted his chair back from the table and stood, Darcy nearly lost her mind. "Bruce!" she snapped. That brought his eyes up from the floor to briefly stare into her face, but then he turned away.

Darcy rose herself. "So help me," she hissed, "If you walk away, I will tase you right here."

That surprised him enough to turn back to her, and Darcy was quick to grab him, wrapping both of her hands around his forearm. "Quit PMSing," she told him. "Okay, so I freaked out. I'll deal with it. It doesn't mean that I don't want to be around you. I thought we were past that reaction, Bruce."

He allowed her to tug him back down into his chair, eyes on her again, instead of avoiding. "I wanted to give you one last chance to run." The raw sincerity in his voice, along with the subtle twist of pain in his face, told Darcy that he was still expecting her to flee.

Darcy sat back down in her own chair. "Not a chance, Banner. Seriously." She poked a finger at him, still angry. "You don't get to make decisions for me, remember? If you have a concern, you need to voice it."

He ducked his head, breaking eye contact. "I…having other people that know about me around on a regular basis is still new, Darcy. I…I almost forget what that's like. I'm relearning how to be sociable."

She folded her arms across her chest. "Learn to communicate, Bruce. It's simple, honest. Something like 'Hey Darcy, S.H.I.E.L.D will always have tails on me because I have anger management issues that can turn big and green. Are you okay with that?' It's that simple, honest."

He bit his lip. "I'll try."

She smiled, feeling a tense ball of nerves relax. "That's all any of ask. Yes, it freaks me out that we're probably being followed. No, it's not going to keep me from testing your boundaries." She looked up as their waiter arrived with food. "Now let's dig in and enjoy the food. We're good at that, at least."

Bruce had to chuckle.

After dinner, they took a meandering walk back to the Tower, taking in the sights and sounds of the city. At first, Bruce was jumpy, eyes darting back and forth, body flinching from loud noises and close contact. But gradually, as Darcy looped her arm through his and chatted about really pointless things, he relaxed. Then, he finally seemed to realize what she was saying.

"Are you really talking about toe fungus right now?" he asked, looking down at her incredulously.

Darcy smirked up at him. "It's all in the tone of the voice, Banner. It's not what you say, it's the tone you say it in. It works on animals, right? So I figured it would work on a twitchy Dr. Banner, too."

He laughed and Darcy grinned. She really enjoyed it when he laughed. He sounded…free. Untethered by the normal weight that held him down. She wanted to make him laugh more often.

They finally arrived back at the Tower a little breathless, but relaxed. Darcy was completely in the mood for a little boundary testing at that point, and was pressed into Bruce's side rather tightly as they pushed through the doors into the lobby.

They hadn't taken more than two steps into the lobby when someone stepped into their path. Darcy blinked, but what she was seeing didn't change. Carefully combed hair, immaculate suit, and unflappable expression. "Dude...aren't you supposed to be dead?" she asked. He almost looked it, with dark circles under his eyes, and a pale, pasty complexion. He was a lot thinner than she remembered him being.

Bruce's head, tilted down toward hers, snapped up, and Darcy felt instant tension in his arm. He not-so-subtly tugged her behind him, practically bristling at the walking dead man blocking their path.

Agent Phil Coulson brushed absently at the lapel of his suit on the left side. "The reports of my death were…inaccurate, Miss Lewis," he informed. He inclined his head. "Dr. Banner."

Bruce nodded, but did not relax. "How do we know you're really you? Fury told us you'd died."

"I did die. Four times to be exact. But Director Fury inspired our medical staff to outperform themselves in the pursuit of saving my life." He brushed at the left side of his chest again, looking very tired. "I'm not here for that. Director Fury has concerns over this…relationship."

Darcy's eyes narrowed. "You can tell Fury to shove it up his ass. It's none of his business." She didn't think she was imagining the swell of Bruce's back muscles, and edged around his side so that she could see his eyes. Uh oh. Big Green was dangerously close to making an appearance. The sudden shock of finding out Coulson hadn't died? Nah…she was betting it was anger at realizing that Fury had lied.

She squeezed Bruce's arm softly. "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens." She used the soothing, low tone she had used on him earlier, and felt Bruce relax minutely. "What?" he asked, turning his head to meet her eyes. The corner of his mouth was twitching up in a smile.

Darcy stroked up and down his arm. "I don't think Big Green should really be involved in this right now. Let's cut poor Double Oh Negative here some slack, he already almost died once."

She caught the thoughtful (and fleeting) expression on Coulson's face from the corner of her eye, but her focus was on Bruce. He really needed to not Hulk out right now.

His careful breathing slowed, and he shook himself a little. "I'm okay. Do the others know?"

That question was directed at Coulson, who shook his head. "Not yet. Would you care to present me? Afterward, we can discuss what's going on between the two of you."

Darcy glared. Despite being reported dead, Coulson was still sweeping in and disrupting her life, and that was really annoying. "Oh, I'm sure we will," she promised, looping her arm back through Bruce's. "Let's get it over with."

Bruce leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Tony is going to be very, very angry. He doesn't do feelings well, but he was fond of Coulson, and took his death very hard. Barton and Natasha worked under Coulson for years. I'm not sure if they knew the truth or not, but if Fury lied to them too…it could get ugly. You might not want to be around for this."

Darcy's smile was hard. "I won't miss it." She tugged Bruce toward the elevator, following after Coulson. The agent moved very carefully, she noticed, and probably shouldn't be back on active duty yet, but she got the feeling that he was a tough man to keep down. She just hoped that he was ready for the fallout.

Manipulate Tony Stark's emotions? Fury was in for a shitstorm, and then some.

* * *

This was sort of a transitional chapter, and not one of my favorites to write.


	11. Chapter 11

Again, so sorry for the long, long time between updates. This one probably isn't as good as I would like it to be, but it was written in stolen moments while caring for my Mom in her last few weeks. Updates should be coming more frequently from now on.

Did someone mention a shitstorm last chapter?

* * *

The elevator ride was tense. Agent Coulson looked like he was barely able to stay on his feet, and Bruce was still wary of the man. He was leaning away from the newly un-dead agent, and Darcy stood between them, wondering if Tony Stark would really lose it when he realized how he'd been manipulated. She just couldn't imagine Tony with…feelings.

When they reached the appropriate floor, Jarvis politely directed them toward the large conference room that Tony had dubbed the Assembly Room, where the Avengers met prior to missions. Darcy could hear raised voices from several corridor turns away, and she shared a nervous look with Bruce.

Not just Tony, she realized as they got closer. Red, Arms, and Apple Pie were also agitated and vocal.

Coulson, who had been leading the way despite his haggard appearance, stopped and gestured them forward. "Try to soften the blow, please," he suggested calmly. "Mr. Stark will not be happy about this."

Darcy and Bruce shared a nervous look, but left the S.H.I.E.L.D agent behind and entered the Assembly room.

Nick Fury was standing inside a semi-circle of angry Avengers. Darcy couldn't tell what they were angry about, but she knew what they would be angry about shortly.

Arms acknowledge their arrival with a curt nod, then swiveled back to face Fury. "Explain it again, sir. Why it was absolutely necessary to have a tail follow Darcy and Bruce? Because to me, that just seems like the shittiest thank you ever for saving the world."

Fury raised one eyebrow. "Don't be naïve, Agent Barton. Dr. Banner has always been monitored closely. We also have an exceptionally close eye on you since the Chitauri invasion."

Beside her, Darcy heard Bruce (or was it Big Green?) growl low in his throat. She still hadn't found out what had happened to Arms during the invasion, but it was bad. And Fury probably couldn't have said anything to piss off the Avengers even more in that moment. Muscles tensed, and the semi-circle closed in as everyone took a collective half step forward. Even Rogers, normally very even tempered, looked like he was going to take a piece out of the director.

"That was uncalled for," Red hissed, voice low and very dangerous. Darcy felt a chill run through her, and figured Fury must have balls of steel to face down the nearly spitting Russian, and not run away screaming in terror. _She_ wanted to run away screaming in terror, and Natasha wasn't angry at her!

Fury didn't even blink. "It's the truth. Just because your primary assignment has changed to the Avengers Initiative doesn't mean any of you are given a free pass. You are still a potential threat, and a weapon that can be used against the world."

The growls coming from Bruce's throat deepened, and Darcy noticed green flecks in his eyes.

"Hey everyone!" she greeted with forced cheer. She gulped as every eye in the room focused on her. They were not happy to see her, she noticed. They were really not going to be happy in a minute or two. "So, um, it looks tense in here."

"Now is not the time, Miss Lewis," Apple Pie told her.

"Well, I think it is," she corrected in a slightly wavering voice. "Cuz everyone is already a little tense, and maybe you all need some good news to lift a little tension, right?"

She took a few steps out of the Assembly room, and motioned Coulson in. She didn't wait for him. She stepped back inside the room, and offered a tremulous smile to the angry super heroes. "Bruce and I found this guy in the lobby. I think you all know him?"

Coulson stepped in and stopped right inside the room. For a second, it was so quiet that Darcy was sure she could have heard ants marching across the room. The other Avengers were frozen in place, emotions running rampant across their faces. It seemed like the moment would pass in silence, but then pandemonium erupted. Rogers turned an interesting shade of red, as did Barton and Romanoff. The two of them looked torn between hugging Coulson, or punching Fury. Tony Stark?

Tony Stark was always somewhat tense around Nick Fury. Darcy hadn't realized the reason for that until Bruce whispered his warning in her ear in the lobby of Stark Tower. Huh. Tony had feelings, and wasn't sure what to do with them. Right now, they seemed to be tearing him apart in a very angry way.

He got right up in Dread Pirate Roberts' face. "Why? Why did you tell us Coulson died?"

"It was necessary," Fury placated, with a sad, careworn expression that made Darcy want to hug him and then slug him.

The hot pot that was Tony Stark boiled over. Darcy watched it in slow motion. Tony's arm muscles coiled, and then exploded. His whole body pivoted, right fist snapping out and crashing into Nick Fury's face. Red and Arms flinched, but did not defend their boss. Fury tumbled to the ground, rolled, and came up on his feet. Another fist crashed into his face, and he tumbled again.

Tony punched the director four times, spewing incoherent rage as he did, and Fury never tried to defend himself. The man was smart, Darcy decided. He needed the Avengers, and if that meant taking lumps for the shitty lie he had told about Coulson's not-death, then he would do it.

She also noticed Arms and Red growing angrier by the moment. Not at Stark, as she first thought, but at the lie Fury had told. Apparently, they hadn't been in on it, and after the initial reaction of joy at Coulson's return, they now looked like they wanted to get a few punches in on Fury as well. Both were close to Coulson; that had been apparent as soon as they saw him. Finding out he was alive, that they had been lied to, wasn't sitting well.

Another growl beside her brought her attention to Bruce. "You okay, big guy?"

His fists were clenched, she saw. Seeing his teammates so angry was not helping his own control. "Doc Moppy?" she prompted, hoping the lighter nickname would help take the edge off.

Bruce shuddered, squeezing his eyes shut. He took a few deep, gulping breaths. Darcy wasn't sure, but she thought she heard stitches popping in his clothes, and his shoulders looked broader.

She reached out and stroked her hand down his arm. Yep, definitely a little bigger than usual. Darcy hip bumped him, bringing Bruce's eyes around to focus on her. "You should go," he growled, hands clenching and unclenching.

"Not a chance," she returned. "If Big Green comes out to play, I'll distract him." But first, it was time to settle down Stark. "Hey Tony!"

Stark, standing over a prone Fury with his fists raised, spun around to glare at her. "What?!" he snapped.

Darcy faced him as calmly as she faced the Hulk. She understood his anger, she really did. He was angry at being lied to, and angry for displaying emotions in front of other people. He was Tony Stark. He wasn't supposed to give a damn that some secret government agent that he knew was killed, and so he really shouldn't care that he'd been lied to about the man's death. All of those emotions were overloading his brain right now, and he needed someone to lash out at.

"It's okay to be pissed," she told him. "But you've expressed yourself now, and there's no lasting harm, right? It's a good thing! Agent Coulson is alive." She forced a smile and flashed her hands at Coulson like she was presenting a really awesome prize, or something.

Stark's eyes narrowed, then flicked down toward Fury. Darcy wasn't sure if Fury was gonna get it again or not, but Tony finally took a step back. At the same time, she felt Bruce relax minutely by her side, now that his 'bro' was calming down, or at least not shouting and punching the S.H.I.E.L.D director.

Coulson took that opportunity to slowly walk forward, drawing everyone's eyes. "I'm flattered, Mr. Stark. I didn't know you cared." He paused, with a serene little smile that was forced if Darcy was any judge. "Good job on the whole saving the world thing. Glad I could provide some motivation."

While Stark sputtered over that one, Coulson walked slowly to the front of the room, where Apple Pie stood tensely, looking down at Fury like he wanted to do some pounding too.

"Captain Rogers," the agent greeted.

Rogers nodded, then offered a bemused smile. "Agent Coulson. I never did get to sign those cards for you."

Darcy watched Coulson's face go through several different emotions. "That's okay, Captain. It seems like I have to rebuild my collection before that can happen."

Apple Pie frowned, and looked down at Fury, who was now sitting up on the floor, rotating his jaw. "That shouldn't be your responsibility. Director Fury will see that it gets done. Once he has those replacement cards, I'll be happy to sign them all."

Even Darcy flinched a little bit at that one. Rogers was certainly stepping up and making his own feelings clear.

"You'll have them within a week, right Director?" Natasha practically oozed menace as she glided up to Rogers and stared down at her boss. Her hands were clenched in white knuckled fists.

Fury rotated his jaw one more time, frowning at the clicking noise, and then rose smoothly to his feet. He seemed completely unaffected by everything that had just happened, and nodded curtly toward the captain and Natasha. "I'll have them in three days."

Coulson seemed a little shell shocked. Well, either that, or he was running out of steam. Darcy couldn't tell. He cleared his throat, looking around at the Avengers with something close to amazement, but then his mask fell back into place. "Thank you. All of you. It is not necessary, but thank you. Director Fury has assigned me as the S.H.I.E.L.D liaison to the team. I hope we can all work together."

Any response was interrupted by Thor's arrival. Where the big guy had been, Darcy didn't know. But his reaction upon entering the room and seeing Coulson was spectacular. He yelled loudly, went into a crouch, and held his hand out to call Mjolnir.

"Scatter, my friends!" he cried. "Do not let the shade of the Son of Coul touch you, lest it leech your own life away."

Beside Darcy, Bruce snorted out laughter as Mjolnir crashed through a wall into Thor's hands. "Thor…it's okay. It's not a shade. It's really Coulson."

Thor, in the act of winding up to smite the evil shade, paused. Darcy had to snicker as Coulson relaxed minutely. He'd been ready to move, just in case the hammer came his way. It looked like Thor was still considering, eyes narrowed at the S.H.I.E.L.D agent.

"Loki stabbed you," the god clarified. "I saw that with my own eyes. The man of fury said that you died."

Coulson nodded slowly. "I did. Several times. But ultimately, my journey wasn't done yet." He stared calmly up at the Asgardian, waiting for Thor's decision.

Thor's look was calculating, and the room remained tense for several moments. But finally the God of Thunder smiled, and allowed his hammer to dangle from his hand. "It is good to see you, Son of Coul." Then his head dipped, hair falling forward to partially obscure his face. "My deepest apologies for the actions of my brother."

Coulson almost (almost!) cracked a smile. "They say there's one in every family, Thor. No apology necessary. I knew the risk." He glanced around at the assembled team. "Since everyone is here now, let me repeat that I've been assigned as liaison to the team. I understand that there is some concern that Dr. Banner and Miss Lewis were shadowed while out in public."

An angry mutter went through the room. Coulson nodded an acknowledgement of their feelings. "I understand your concerns. I wish I could tell you that you are free to do as you wish with no interference from our agency, but that is not the case. The six of you have become very high profile since the Chitauri invasion. Any time you step foot out in public, it becomes S.H.I.E.L.D's concern. By association, anyone that you choose to spend time with publicly also becomes S.H.I.E.L.D's concern."

"Why?" Darcy snapped. "Who they choose to associate shouldn't be any concern of yours."

It was Fury who answered. "The easiest way to ensure that the Avengers are weakened is to strike at what they hold dear, whether that be family or friends. We've already had a tractor trailer full of Pop Tarts stolen because Miss Lewis got hurt. That kind of press needs to be avoided."

Beside Darcy, Bruce ducked his head, but she could see a little smile playing over his lips. He found it funny that Hulk had stolen the Pop Tarts for Darcy. She could totally appreciate that.

Fury nodded in their direction. "Yes, it was amusing, because no one was hurt. Imagine if the Hulk had gone on a complete rampage and civilians had been injured. A little prevention can go a long way."

Tony Stark held up his hand. "Yeah, totally not in the mood for government agency bullshit right now." He tilted his head toward Coulson. "Glad you've come back from the dead, Agent. Pepper will be happy." He whirled smartly and left the room.

Bruce twitched, like he wanted to go after the billionaire, then looked over at Darcy and decided not to follow Stark.

Red and Arms made their own decision. They turned away from Fury and walked up to Coulson. Darcy watched a little anxiously, but the three of them said nothing for the longest time, just stared at each other. Emotions flickered across their faces and through clenched hands and shifting muscles. She watched Clint's face twitch as if he really wanted to say something, but finally he shook his head. He reached out to grasp Coulson's shoulder, as Natasha did the same on the other side. Coulson's hands came up to rest on their shoulders briefly, and then the two assassins spun away and followed Tony Stark out the door. Not a word had been spoken, but it was one of the most emotional and powerful things Darcy had ever seen.

Steve Rogers looked after his teammates, and then at Bruce and Thor. A very cold look toward Fury almost made Darcy shiver. The captain was not pleased with the director.

"Agent Coulson – welcome back. I'm sure we'll be able to work with you just fine." With that, he left the room, not even acknowledging Fury on the way out.

Darcy shared a eyebrow raised look with Bruce, and then they both turned to Thor. The God of Thunder was unaffected by the negative emotions that had been flying around, and smiled widely at Coulson.

"I am very pleased, Son of Coul. It wounded my heart when my brother harmed you."

Coulson finally cracked a smile. "I'm pretty happy I didn't die too, Thor."

He looked like he was fading fast, and Thor saw it. "Rest, my friend. Your strength will be slow to return, and you will need it if you plan to work with us."

Darcy didn't miss the quick nod from Fury, and Coulson seemed to wilt when he saw it. "I believe I'll just rest here for a little," he advised, sinking down into a chair.

Thor gave a boisterous farewell, and herded Darcy and Bruce out of the Assembly Room. "How fairs your courtship?" he asked eagerly as they headed back toward the elevator.

Darcy yelped as Stark stepped out of a dark room with a hard grin. "I was wondering the same thing, Point Break." He did a long perusal of both Bruce and Darcy, making them both squirm a little. "Can't have gone that well, Goldilocks. Their clothing is intact."

Bruce flushed and heaved an exasperated sigh. "Tony. Clothing doesn't always need to come off for a good time, you know."

Stark shrugged. "No, but it helps."

Darcy wasn't so easily distracted, noticing the slightly pinched look on his face. "Are you okay, Tony?"

His eyebrows went up. "Why wouldn't I be?"

She shrugged. "You seemed a little upset at Fury."

"Oh you know. Letting all of us believe Coulson was dead, including our resident assassins, was really shitty." He didn't seem inclined to elaborate on how he felt about it, and Darcy didn't push.

Thor clapped him soundly on the shoulder. "There is no shame in expressing your anger, Stark. To allow us to believe that the Son of Coul had died by Loki's hand…it was wrong. Thankfully, all has been righted, and the Son of Coul will be working closely with us from now on."

Stark waved dismissively. "Yeah, yeah. I need to go put some ice on my hand now. Big man, Kick-Ass – go fool around for the rest of the night." He stalked off, cradling his right hand carefully, a laughing "get laid" floating over his shoulder.

Thor smiled. "His advice is sound, my friends. Put any troubles from your head and explore your physical connection." He clapped Bruce on the shoulder, nodded to Darcy, and walked after Stark, leaving Darcy and Bruce both gaping at his instructions. It wasn't quite 'get laid', but it apparently was the Asgardian equivalent.

Darcy stared up at Bruce with an open mouth. "Um…what just happened?"

He was blinking, and finally pulled his glasses off to rub at his eyes tiredly. "I think Tony and Thor both told us to fool around."

Darcy nodded. "That's what I thought. Um…Bruce?"

His answer was cautious. "Yes?"

She hated even admitting this. "I don't really think I'm in the mood anymore. Especially since Tony is expecting us to, now."

He sighed heavily, but there was a look of relief on his face instead of disappointment. "I'm glad you said that. I'm not really either, because it's a little too weird after what just happened." He smiled tentatively. "I would be happy to walk you to your door, though."

Darcy bit back a grin. "I would love that, Doc Moppy." She slung an arm through his, and they headed for the elevator. "So…do you think this is over?"

Bruce shook his head. "Did you see the expressions on Clint and Natasha's faces when Coulson walked in? It's possible their allegiance might have just swung to the Avengers, rather than S.H.I.E.L.D. And Steve is more disgusted with S.H.I.E.L.D then he was before. But I'm still worried about Tony."

Darcy nodded. "He still seems like a boiling pot."

"I'll keep an eye on him. I can just smell some kind of convoluted revenge/retribution plot against Fury, and that won't help."

"No," she agreed, although she could sympathize with Tony's emotions.

They talked of little things on the elevator ride and the walk to Darcy's apartment. At the door, Bruce turned to her, adorably awkward.

He reached out to take her hands. "I had a great time. I wish our night hadn't been interrupted. I would have enjoyed causing some damage for Tony to repair."

He said it with a completely straight face, and Darcy couldn't help laughing. "I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities in the future."

"Yeah." Bruce reached out to lay a hand on her cheek. "You kept me focused the whole night, prevented some outbreaks. That's something no one has ever been brave enough to try before."

"I have skills," she reminded, leaning into his hand. He was always a little warm, and the contact felt very good.

A thumb lazily stroked her jaw line. "So you keep telling me," Bruce reminded with a small smile. "I look forward to exploring those skills." His eyes trailed down and then back up, leaving shivers in their wake.

Darcy shuddered at the husky tone. Okay, it was completely unfair that the doc could turn her on that fast with just some naughty looks and a raspy voice. "You gonna kiss me good night, Doc?"

His answering smile set off tingles in her lady parts. "I think I am." He leaned forward.

It was slow, full of promise and hope, yet almost completely filthy at the same time. A far cry from the guy who shied away from anyone's touch. Bruce Banner was making progress.

She had to gasp for breath when he finally broke away from her mouth. "Holy shit, Bruce."

He leaned his forehead against hers, panting slightly. "Yeah. This might just kill me, you know."

Darcy had to take a couple of very deep breaths. "Maybe. But you'll die a happy man."

"No doubt," he agreed. He rested against her for a few more seconds, and then pulled back. His eyes were dark, and it made her very glad to see that he wanted this as much as she did. "I need to go, Darcy. We'll talk about a next date, or something, a little later, okay?"

She nodded wordlessly. Bruce swooped in for one more kiss and then pulled back and walked away. Darcy took a few moments to compose herself, but then finally straightened and managed to unlock her door.

Interesting times ahead, she figured.

* * *

Not the best I could do, but I didn't want you guys to have to wait any longer. The fallout from Coulson Lives is far from over, because one thing you just don't do is make a fool out of Tony Stark. Next chapter will be Bruce's POV, and things heat up.


	12. Chapter 12

As promised: Bruce's POV

As a special bonus: Hulk's POV!

* * *

Bruce's butt hit the chair with a thud, bringing Darcy's head up to look at him. She looked sympathetic, and maybe a little worried as he joined her for lunch.

"Tony again?" she asked, reaching out to pat Bruce's hand.

"Who else?" he huffed. "It's like having an adult child. Every time I turn around, he's planning something new to do to Fury." It was exhausting. Bruce felt semi-responsible, since he had become such a close friend to the maddening billionaire. Tony had temporarily redirected all of his energy into different assorted schemes to make Nick Fury's life miserable.

"What's worse," Bruce continued, "Is that Clint and Natasha have been _helping_ him." It was a nightmare. The only thing worse than Tony Stark on an infantile grudge crusade was when he had a cheering section. Natasha and Clint were very upset with the deception Fury had pulled on all of them, and they not only encouraged Tony, but assisted him as well.

Darcy grimaced, and patted his hand again, bringing a smile to Bruce's face. She was luckily spared most of the grudge fest, since Jane dwelled in her own lab area, but because Bruce was part of the team, he was trapped in the midst of it constantly. It wasn't that he thought Fury didn't deserve what was happening, but it was keeping everyone on their toes and not in a good way.

"Did anyone ask him to stop?" she queried.

Bruce ducked his head. "Well, the thing is, we all feel that Fury deserves what he is getting, even Steve."

Her laughter was bright and bubbling. "Then let Tony have at it. From the sounds of it, Fury does deserve it."

Bruce slumped. "It's just…it's exhausting," he complained. "I feel like the only adult, right now."

Darcy scooted her chair around the table so she could sit beside him, leg pressed along his, and shoulder pressing in against him. It was reassuring and calming, and Bruce could totally understand why the Other Guy liked her so much. It was almost like she absorbed bad feelings and anxiety, leaving only peace their wake. Plus, she smelled really nice.

"Are you sniffing me?" Darcy asked with a laugh.

Bruce coughed and sat up a little straighter when he realized he _was_ sniffing her. "Sorry. You smell good."

She practically beamed at him. "Thanks, Doc Moppy. Relax. Let Tony do his thing. Let Natasha and Clint help, if they want to. You don't need to step in unless someone gets hurt, or there's a potential for someone getting hurt."

Thankfully, that wasn't the case. Tony's actions were limited to small humiliations and inconveniences so far. All of Fury's pants were suddenly either way too big, or two sizes too small. Bruce wasn't sure how Tony had managed that, but suspected that Natasha and Clint had a hand in it. All of Fury's communications over comms sounded like the director had just inhaled helium. His regular eye patches went missing, replaced by a hot pink variety. Those were just the incidents that Bruce knew about, but he was sure there were others. Tony had given him a measuring stare when Bruce had asked what he was up to, and he was pretty sure that the answer he got was censored.

Nick Fury bore it without public complaint, at least so far. Bruce hadn't seen the director since Tony's campaign began, but Clint gleefully kept the team updated. Natasha did not gossip, but the small smile hovering around her mouth indicated she was satisfied with what was taking place.

"I think I feel bad for Coulson too," Bruce admitted softly. "He shouldn't really be back on duty yet, but he's there every day, and Tony's little grudge fest is bothering him."

Darcy nodded wisely. "When Coulson feels that it's enough, he'll say so, and Tony will stop."

Hmm…that was a possibility, but Bruce wasn't as confident as Darcy seemed to be. "I hope so," he muttered into his sandwich.

He didn't have too much time to dwell on it, as the assemble alarm went off suddenly. Bruce heaved a big sigh, but didn't feel the usual dread that came with the possibility of unleashing the Other Guy. It would feel very good to allow the big guy to blow off some steam after the tension of the past week. Maybe then Tony's antics wouldn't worry him as much as they were currently.

Darcy smiled tremulously up at him as he stood. "Stay safe," she told him.

Bruce smiled. "What part of this job is safe?"

She laughed softly. "True. Okay…keep the others safe."

He nodded. "That one shouldn't be hard."

He wasn't really surprised when she stretched up to give him a kiss. It was short and sweet, and Bruce smiled at her when she drew back. She looked a little worried, and he didn't want her to worry for him. He was pretty much indestructible.

"It'll be fine," he assured, before walking away from her.

And of course, it wasn't. A rather simple mission turned bad fast when the normal human targets turned out to have high tech backups. Bruce stayed himself until the moment that Tony was swatted out of the air by a flying robot shaped like a big bug. No one saw it coming, not even Clint, and suddenly the things were everywhere. Bruce saw Tony slam into pavement hard, and Steve was tossed into a building moments later. He saw nothing else as a green haze took over his sight.

Stupid metal bugs.

Friends hurt. Metal man down. Shield man down.

Metal bug. Annoy Hulk. Smash. No more annoy.

More metal bugs. More smash!

Boom sound god help. Blow up bugs.

Stick man help. Shoot sticks. Sticks blow up. Bugs blow up.

Fun. Smash bugs fun.

Hulk SMASH!

Friends. Friends hurt. Metal man still down. Bugs hurt friends.

Throw bugs. Smash bugs. Stick man and boom sound god blow up bugs.

More bugs.

Spider pretty help. Shoot bugs. Help spider pretty.

More bugs.

Hulk smash. Smash stupid bugs. Bugs hurt friends.

Metal man still down. Okay? Metal man okay?

Still down. More bugs. SMASH bugs!

Too many bugs. Stick man falling. Catch stick man! Safe.

More bugs.

Stick man and spider pretty blow up bugs.

Boom sound god blow up bugs.

Hulk SMASH!

Metal man, shield man still down. Hurt?

Need metal man up. Still down.

Need more bugs. Smash. Angry. Friends hurt.

Bugs fly away. Scared of Hulk. Friends okay?

Still down! Metal man still down! SMASH!

Boom sound god talk.

"Banner – you must calm yourself. The threat is ended. The man of iron and the captain require healers. Calm yourself!"

Need to smash. Where bugs? Find bugs.

"Ungh…Banner…you must stay here. The battle is finished. Our friends require aid."

Arm. Boom sound god hold arm. Let go.

Stick man threaten?

"C'mon Hulk. You need to calm down. I don't want to stick you with a tranq arrow."

Stick man friend. Why threaten? Bad idea.

"Uh…yeah…don't look at me like that, big guy. I don't wanna hit you with this arrow."

Stupid. Arrow not hurt.

"Awe man…shit Thor…he pulled you right into my shot. Are you okay? I mean, Thunder Gods aren't affected by tranq arrows, right?"

"Thor? Shit Tasha…he's down. Coulson! Tell me there's some kind of backup plan to controlling the big guy, right?"

Funny. Boom sound god loose. Fall down. Where bugs? Smash bugs! Friends hurt!

Metal man still down. Still down!

Find more bugs. Boom sound god sleep. Stick man move. Out of Hulk's way.

"Uh big guy? We really need you to stay here, okay?"

"Smash."

"You smashed really good! But smash time is over now, and shit, Coulson! I hope you have something really good."

More men. Not hurt Hulk. Not help Hulk. In Hulk's way. Not-dead man talk.

"Mr. Hulk, we need you to stay here. You did a commendable job containing the threat, but it would be advisable to power down now. Our medical team is seeing to Mr. Stark and Captain Rogers. Barton – why does Thor have a tranquilizer arrow in his backside?"

"Long story, sir."

Where bugs? Smash bugs! Bugs hurt friends! Metal man hurt. Still down.

"Mr. Hulk, I really must insist that you stay here. It is not advisable to pursue vengeance at this time."

Smash bugs.

"Then you leave me no choice. Sitwell – send in the big gun."

Pretty! Pretty is here!

"Hey Big Green! You did an awesome job smashing those bugs. Why don't you and I just sit down here?"

Pretty. But…smash bugs?

"Metal man hurt."

"Awe…don't worry about Tony. He'll be fine. Just got knocked in the head too hard. He's sleeping right now, but he'll wake up soon. Seriously, big guy…why don't we sit down here? Here's nice, right? Look, we have this nice sturdy wall to sit on. You deserve to rest! You worked hard, doing all that smashing."

"Tired. Angry. Friends hurt."

"Hey, I get it. I do! But Tony and Steve, they'll be fine. Thor too. He snores really loud, doesn't he? Why that doesn't drive Jane completely insane…I just don't understand."

"Miss Lewis."

"Yeah yeah. Don't get your boxers in a bunch, Double Oh. Do you wear boxers? Okay, okay. Never mind."

Pretty is pretty.

"Gonna sit down with me, big guy? I'd really like it if you did."

Tired. Sit.

"That's it, big guy. I so better be getting bonus pay for this, because it's way outside of my job description."

"We'll discuss that later, Miss Lewis."

"This is your big gun? Seriously, Coulson?"

"Can you argue with her effectiveness, Barton?"

"Well…no."

Tired. Pretty sit. Sit with Hulk.

"Hey big guy. Just relax now, okay? I'm right here."

"Pretty."

"You sure do know how to talk to the ladies, Big Green."

* * *

Bruce swam out of a disjointed green haze that always bespoke an uncontrolled Other Guy breakout. The pain of transformation was still very strong, so it seemed he hadn't been out long, if at all. The flashes of memory began almost immediately. Foremost among them was the sight of the Iron Man suit lying motionless on the ground.

He was resting on some pillows, it seemed, but had to check on Tony. He tried to sit up and winced.

"Hey you."

Bruce paused, and then twisted to look behind him. Oh. He wasn't resting on pillows. He'd been leaning back against Darcy and her...her…

She noticed the angle of his gaze and erupted into bubbling laughter. "Wow Bruce. I think that's the first time I've caught you staring outright."

He flushed and looked up to her face. "Sorry. I just…I thought I was leaning back against pillows."

She took a deep breath and wiggled her upper half at him. "They're even better than real pillows."

Bruce couldn't stop a small smile, and leaned back once more. "Completely," he agreed. "Is Tony okay?"

"You remember that?" She brushed a hand through his hair restlessly.

"Just an image of Iron Man down on the ground." And the feeling of fear over his friend being hurt. It had been an almost overwhelming fear. "And…did he hurt Thor? I remember Thor going down, but somehow it was the Other Guy's fault?"

He felt Darcy laugh against his back. "Tony is fine…just a concussion. He hit the ground really hard. Thor..." She erupted into giggles. "Big Green was really upset about Tony being hurt, and was going to chase the robot bugs. When Thor tried to get him to stay, he got a little…feisty, I think, was the word Coulson used. So Barton tried to tranq him, but Big Green yanked Thor in front of the arrow. He's still out."

Bruce tried. He tried really hard not to laugh, because the Other Guy's continuing abuse of Thor was not funny, but the visual Darcy was presenting… A few chuckles escaped.

Darcy poked him in the side. "I know, right? Thor will be absolutely mortified when he wakes up. And Clint just kept laughing about it!"

Bruce frowned. "Who's idea was it to do a tranq _arrow_ anyhow? Arrows won't pierce the Other Guy's skin."

"Hmm…dunno. It's possible that Barton took it upon himself. He's got a raging hard on for specialty arrows, in case you hadn't noticed."

Bruce barked out a laugh. "That's one way to describe it, yes." He sat back up and stretched, trying to relieve some of the transformation pain.

The sound that came out of his mouth, when Darcy dug her hands into his aching muscles, was almost pornographic. Bruce felt heat race up his cheeks, but that didn't stop him from making another embarrassing noise as those magic hands eased the ache from his body.

"Didn't peg you as a loud one, Doc," she whispered in his ear. "I'll keep that in mind."

The low dirty tone of her voice went straight to his groin. Bruce twitched, and took several deep breaths to fight back the rising tide of lust that was causing his thoughts to go green. Darcy didn't help that fight when she uttered an absolutely filthy laugh.

"You are playing with fire," Bruce finally warned between clenched teeth.

"Good," she said abruptly. "Wet blanket holds little appeal. What's wrong, Bruce? I'm a Big Green tamer, remember? That's why Coulson brought me in today, to calm down your alter-ego."

"He did what?" Bruce couldn't have heard that correctly. He sat up and turned, raising an eyebrow at the young woman who was forcing her way into every facet of his life. "You were at the scene?"

He watched Darcy bite her lip, hands now resting on his shoulders instead of his back. "Yeah. Big Green was heading out. He was gonna chase after the robot bugs that hurt his buddy Tony. Coulson brought me in to talk him down."

Green was taking over his thoughts. "Coulson brought you to the scene of a battle?" he growled.

Hands cupped his face, and Bruce again took several deep breaths, forcing back the growling green presence within him. He blinked twice and focused on Darcy's face. Her blue eyes were wide open behind the glasses, and crinkled with amusement. How could she find this funny? She…she had been at the scene, in the line of fire!

"Will you please calm down? The fight was over when I was brought in. The bald guy – Sitwell? Him and I were in a van blocks away. I was fine." Her smile was soothing. "Coulson's not dumb, you know. He wouldn't put me in the line of fire. Too many people would be upset if I got hurt." A hand stroked reassuringly through his hair. "Don't worry so much, Bruce. It makes you old before your time."

He snorted a laugh. "I think that already happened, Darcy."

She grinned. "Only if you let it. C'mon. Let's get you back to your rooms, huh?"

Getting away from his usual recovery spot on the medical floor sounded wonderful. Bruce allowed Darcy to help him to his feet. It was always worse when the Other Guy broke out unexpectedly. The pain could linger for days sometimes.

It was still bugging him as they walked through corridors towards his rooms. Darcy didn't belong anywhere close to a battleground. He could still see the bruises and blood on Betty's fair skin when she had wound up at the scene of one of his clashes with General Ross, her father. He did not want to see the same thing happen to Darcy.

A stinging swat on his backside surprised a yelp out of his mouth. Bruce jumped, and looked down at the young woman he had been leaning on in astonishment.

"Did you just swat my ass?" he asked unnecessarily.

Darcy's grin was cheeky. "It was either me or Jarvis. Personally, I'm betting on the AI. He's got Tony's personality."

"Perhaps, Ms. Lewis. But I do not have Mr. Stark's hands, so I cannot claim responsibility." The AI's voice held a hint of humor.

The naughty grin that spread across Darcy's face was just…naughty. "Oops. Caught." She jabbed a finger at Bruce. "You looked like you were thinking too much. Serious thoughts. You had that thought crease going on, right here."

Bruce blinked as she reached up to stroke a thumb across his wrinkled brow. "Just thinking I really don't like that you were at the scene. It's no place for you."

She tapped on his forehead with her finger. "Told ya, don't worry about it. Coulson isn't stupid. He isn't like Fury."

Bruce shrugged. He didn't really know the agent yet. "They work for the same organization. The one that plays with people's emotions and has secrets within secrets. That does not inspire a lot of confidence in keeping you safe."

They were at his door, finally. Bruce fumbled a set of keys out of his pants (who had dressed him?) and managed to unlock the door. Darcy didn't even hesitate. From her position under her arm, she urged him forward into his rooms. It was a little strange for Bruce, since no one had been in here but him. He took his privacy very seriously.

"Stop worrying about it, Doc. Big Green wouldn't let me get hurt."

He remembered Betty dashing into the middle of a battlefield as a missile was launched. "He can't protect you from everything, Darcy. Just…just promise me that you'll be smart about it, okay? No dashing into the middle of a battlefield."

Her snort was inelegant. "I may act stupid sometimes, Moppy, but I'm really not. No battlefields for me."

Bruce's relief translated into a slump. "That's what I needed to hear."

The steadying arm around his waist squeezed hard. "Where do you want to go? Bed? Sofa?"

The evil portion of his mind suddenly supplied pictures of his bed, and what Bruce would like to be doing in it. The too tight, hazy green feeling that had struck him earlier was back. He stumbled a little, and tried to avoid Darcy's gaze.

"Um…the sofa will be fine."

She helped him there, and made sure he was sitting down safely before heading for his kitchen. "Water, Doc? Tea?" she called over her shoulder.

Watching the sway of her adorable ass, Bruce suddenly wanted alcohol in a powerful way. "Uh…tea, please."

She found the teapot with no help from him, and filled it with water. After slinging it onto his stove, she grabbed for a mug and the nearest tea tin. It was a domestic scene that he hadn't experienced in so long that it hurt just to think of. But she looked…right…as she sashayed around his kitchenette.

"Who dressed me?" he found himself asking, still wondering. Usually he woke up naked.

Darcy flashed him another grin as she prepared the mug. "I'm assuming it was someone in medical. Worried about your virtue, Bruce?"

"Around you? Always. You sure you didn't…help?"

Her laugh was like wind chimes in a light breeze. "Look at me, Bruce. Do you think I'm strong enough to manhandle your unconscious butt into clothes?"

Hmm…she had a point. "Did you peak while I was still out?"

"Nope! But I may have done some touching while you were laying on my 'pillows'."

Bruce felt a sudden, completely irrational jealousy of his unconscious self. "You like to touch, I've noticed."

"Oh Doc…you have no idea."

He twitched again. How she managed to sound so filthy was beyond him, but parts of him liked it a lot. "Tea ready yet?" he asked in a slightly strained voice. She had sifted through his cabinets, and he thought he had seen an odd assortment of things going into his mug.

"Soon," she promised.

Bruce occupied himself with quietly asking Jarvis how Tony, Steve and Thor were doing. They were all well, the AI reported back, but Tony and Thor were still unconscious. Steve was awake, but not yet moving around due to multiple rib fractures. They would take several hours to heal. Natasha and Clint were…occupied.

The blush in the AI's voice almost had Bruce blushing. He didn't need to be a genius to know what the AI was insinuating. Well…good for them. At least they could have fun.

He was a bit hesitant when Darcy plopped down beside him and handed him a steaming mug. Bruce lifted it to his face and inhaled, but couldn't identify all the assorted scents. "What did you put in it," he asked.

The young woman at his side smirked down at the floor, not meeting his eyes. "Oh, a little of this. A little of that. Enjoy!"

He lifted the warm, steaming mug and took a cautious sip. Oh…nice. There was an amazing blend of flavor in his tea. He couldn't identify even half of them, but wow.

"Amazing," he praised, after another sip. "Spiced tea?"

Darcy shrugged, finally looking up at him. "I was a college student not that long ago. Mixing drinks was a daily thing. It wasn't too hard to translate that into yummy tea."

Bruce found himself grinning. She was truly a unique individual. "Amazing," he praised again, after yet another sip. And slightly addictive, because he'd never been this eager to drink tea before.

"Glad you like it."

When everything began to relax, Bruce felt the warning bells go off in his head as he remembered the bottle of scotch Tony had gifted him with. He had tucked it into a cabinet since he had no intention of drinking it. Alcohol wasn't the best idea in the world when one had the ability to turn into a giant green rage monster.

"Darcy no. Tell me you didn't put any scotch into this?"

He watched her bite her bottom lip, and that was answer enough. Bruce sat the mug of tea down on the little table beside the sofa, and shook his head. It had been a long, long time since he felt this relaxed, and that was never good.

"You should go," he suggested softly. "Alcohol lowers my control levels."

He wasn't prepared for her to sling herself onto his lap, straddling him and effectively pinning him where he was. Bruce stared up at her in shock, feeling a flush of heat move through him. He couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or not, but certain parts of his body didn't care.

"Darcy." His voice was strained. "You should go."

She reached up to run her hands through his hair. "Are you kidding? I finally have you at my mercy, Dr. Banner."

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to feel the growing pressure in his pants. Trying really hard not to feel the desire that swam through his entire body, lighting up every nerve until they were screaming for more.

The soft press of her mouth against his nearly undid him. Bruce groaned, but slid his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. She was warm and soft against him, and it had been so long…He plundered her mouth, barely hearing her soft gasps over the growing thunder in his ears. She was…she was grinding down on him softly, and he couldn't stop the small lunges his hips made into the air, pressing them together.

His hands moved of their own volition, sliding up her back under her shirt, garnering a pleased gasp from the woman on his lap. Bruce opened his eyes, but the world had a green haze and he really couldn't see anything. He didn't need to though. He could feel her against him, hear her soft gasps, taste her sweet mouth…

"Darcy," he gasped against her mouth. "It's not safe…he's right there…"

She wrenched her mouth from his and seized his head in both hands. "You know I love seeing you, Big Green," she spoke breathlessly, directly to the demon inside him. "But I love seeing Bruce too, and right now, I need to keep seeing him. Do you understand? You don't need to protect him right now. Bruce is safe with me. Do you understand?"

The angry green presence within him now felt like confusion. Any time this much adrenalin flooded Bruce's system, there was usually trouble. But the Other Guy trusted Darcy more than anyone other than Tony. She was telling him that Bruce was safe with her, and that she wanted to keep Bruce with her for now.

Bruce blinked, and the green haze retreated, leaving him with a lapful of soft, willing Darcy. She was smiling down at him, still doing a soft grind that was driving him crazy.

"Oh Doc…I think life is about to get very interesting," she whispered, bending forward to claim his mouth again.

As unbridled lust roared through him, Bruce couldn't agree more.

* * *

Don't hate me for ending there. Please?


	13. Chapter 13

550 + reviews. My readers rock! Thank you all so much!

So…I know people totally hate me for where last chapter ended. Sorry about that. Sorry this one took so long. The holidays, being sick, etc. Just glad 2012 is over.

* * *

Darcy watched Bruce walk away on the way to assemble with a little flutter in her stomach. It was getting intense, and that was a little scary, but she wanted more. As soon as they had the opportunity, she needed to push Bruce a little more. She knew she could overcome the Big Green problem when he got too excited. It just required some skills, of which she had tons.

Since the assemble had been called, she went to find Jane, who was always a little worried about Thor. Even though he was a freaking indestructible alien god, she still worried. Seeing him die while stripped of all his powers had put the fear of loss in Jane's heart. Darcy couldn't blame her, because she felt the same way. And Bruce was probably more indestructible than Thor, but that didn't stop her from worrying. Not to mention the worry about the people who had become her friends. The rest of them were breakable.

She found Jane absorbed in work, which was sometimes a coping mechanism. The astrophysicist was chewing on a pencil and making notes in her journal of all science notes with a pen. She barely registered Darcy's presence, and that was almost a relief. Darcy didn't really need help in worrying. Let Jane practice avoidance.

She wasn't prepared, at all, for Agent Coulson's visit. The guy still looked pretty bad, like he shouldn't be out of bed. But there he was in the lab, immaculate suit, serene expression, tired eyes and all.

"What's shaking, Double Oh?" she asked, a little jittery from all the sugar she'd eaten since the team had departed. What? She had a nervous habit of eating when she was worried.

"Miss Lewis. You have a unique skill that may be needed post battle. Please come with me."

"Uh…how about no? What unique skill are you after? What do you want me to do? I don't really trust you."

One corner of his mouth twitched up in an almost smile. "That is wise of you." He frowned a little then, and sighed. "Part of the problem with this team is its volatile nature. Dr. Banner in particular. In his powered up form, he represents chaos and unpredictability. Our worry is that after the battle, he might wander off. After all, during the last battle, he abandoned the team to come to your rescue. While admirable in a personal sense, that type of action creates unsafe conditions for the team, and puts other areas and people at risk. You are completely unique in that you have been able to keep the Hulk from being unleashed, and you've also been able to talk him into powering down. To our knowledge, no one else has these abilities."

Just confirming her belief that she was, in fact, awesome. Darcy grinned. "Awe…sweet talker. Okay. I'll come with you. You do know, of course, that if I get hurt, Big Green will tear your spleen out, right?"

Coulson's dry look almost made her giggle. "That's a step up from being impaled. I'll take that chance. Don't worry, Miss Lewis. We will keep you safe."

She actually believed him. While Dread Pirate Roberts just oozed secret agendas, Double Oh had a more open, honest feel to him. She wasn't forgetting that he was a secret agent, and that he probably had hidden agendas also, but somehow she trusted him more than Fury.

Coulson took her outside to a black delivery van. Darcy rolled her eyes and made a face at him. Really? This thing didn't scream 'covert op' much, now did it? When she pointed that out to him, Coulson offered a rare half-smile.

"One of the benefits, Miss Lewis, of being able to manipulate television and Hollywood is that, due to over-exposure, no one actually expects 'covert ops' to be covert. So there really is no possibility that a secret government agency would use black SUVs or delivery vans, because that's what fake agencies in the entertainment industry use."

She had to think about that for a moment. "That's…diabolical," she breathed in appreciation. "Sheer genius."

He almost preened. "We try." Then he knocked on the back of the delivery van. It opened to reveal several agents and a scene that could have been right out of a spy thriller. It was so cliché that it was hard to believe she was seeing it, but the back of the van was filled with computers and technical equipment.

Coulson gestured for her to get in, and she did so. He followed more slowly, accepting a hand up from a bald agent wearing glasses. Darcy winced on his behalf, because he was obviously still in a lot of pain.

"Take it easy there, Double Oh," she warned him.

Coulson, now standing within the van, pressed a hand over the left side of his chest. "I'll be fine, Miss Lewis." His expression softened as he met her eyes. "Thank you for your concern." He turned to Agent Cueball. "Sitwell?"

"Sit rep?" Darcy quipped, a little nervously. She didn't _quite_ flinch from the dark look that Cueball turned on her.

"Jasper Sitwell," he introduced shortly.

Oh. Oops.

She grinned as charmingly as she could under the circumstances. Most of the S.H.I.E.L.D agents didn't seem to have a sense of humor, aside from Clint. "Darcy Lewis. Girlfriend of Dr. Banner. Hulk Tamer. Taser of Thor."

Coulson's lips twitched. "Jasper? Let's get to the scene." At Cueball's baleful expression, he corrected himself. "Let's get closer to the scene."

Darcy bit back a smile. Everyone was being very solicitous of Coulson. She hoped the man realized just how much he had been missed while 'dead'. No one was going to let him overextend himself, or put himself in harm's way.

Cueball spoke into an earpiece, directing someone to 'head for the action'. He stared hard at Coulson until the recuperating man sat down. Darcy was directed to a chair beside Coulson, and sat down a little nervously. This was all probably way above her clearance level, but Coulson seemed to think she could be of some help.

Coulson had his own earpiece, she noticed, and he was listening to the action as their mobile spy office drove toward the conflict. They hadn't been moving for more than three minutes when both Coulson and Sitwell stiffened.

"What? How many? We're about 15 minutes out. Keep me informed." Coulson turned to look right at Darcy. "Hulk is in play. You may be needed."

She had a feeling that a lot more was taking place, but the S.H.I.E.L.D agents weren't sharing. It made her nervous. Sure, Big Green was pretty well invulnerable, and Thor was pretty hard to hurt. But the others…

Updates were pouring in, judging from the small movements of Coulson and Cueball. They did a lot of twitching, and in Cueball's case, some furious typing. They were trying to pull off the mysterious secret agent man routine, but she could tell that things weren't going as well as hoped.

Coulson was providing a steady litany of commentary in a low voice, low enough that Darcy couldn't make out what he was saying. From her seat, she couldn't see the screen that Coulson and Sitwell were both watching, but they were riveted, eyes glued to the action.

Sitwell was more expressive than Coulson, she noticed. The bald agent's eyes widened at one point, then darted to the senior agent beside him, then went back to the screen. Then he barked out an incredulous laugh, and immediately tried to hide it, again glancing at Coulson. Ah. The example everyone tried to live up to, it seemed.

But whatever had made Cueball laugh had also brought a poorly restrained smile to Coulson's face. Luckily for his composure, the van rolled to a stop. They were close by? Darcy wished she could see what was going on. It couldn't be anything bad if both agents were amused, right?

When Coulson stood, she glanced at him expectantly, but he only lifted one finger in the universal 'wait' symbol and walked to the door of the van. Sunlight shone in as he opened the door and slipped out. He didn't latch the door, she saw. Which could mean that she might be needed, so Darcy also rose to her feet, just to be ready.

In less than two minutes, Cueball was nodding sharply and pushing back from his station. He caught her eyes. "Hulk is attempting to pursue the attackers, but they are fleeing. We need you to keep him here."

Darcy nodded nervously. The bald agent took her by the arm and led her out of the van. She blinked as sunlight hit her eyes, and squinted as she took in the area. Yeah, it looked like an Avengers battle had taken place. There was rubble, and destruction, broken pieces of robots, and scorch marks everywhere.

Two things immediately caught her attention. One – Iron Man, Captain America and Thor were all sprawled on the ground, not moving. Two – Big Green was towering over Coulson, staring angrily into the air. Squinting, she could just barely see some specks in the sky that were growing smaller by the second.

Hulk's reaction, when he saw her, was gratifying. He relaxed immediately, and reached toward her with one finger. Darcy talked to him steadily, using that soothing tone that calmed him, and invited him to sit with her on a nearby broken wall. He was still agitated though, and kept looking after the attackers. But it didn't take too much convincing to get him sit beside his 'Pretty' as he called her. Once he did, he blinked sleepily, and was soon shrinking down to Bruce, who was already out.

Several S.H.I.E.L.D agents moved in at that point to pick him up and load him into a different van. Darcy recognized some of people inside as belonging to the medical staff. It was a full van. All four unconscious Avengers had been loaded into it. Arms and Red stood outside, looking on in concern.

Darcy laughed suddenly. "How did you two manage to stay conscious?"

Natasha turned to face her, and rolled her eyes. "We are better at reacting when something attacks us. Stark just crashes into everything, since he has his iron suit to protect him. He couldn't survive for more than five minutes without it. Rogers heals very fast, so he is also used to ignoring things that would incapacitate most people. And Thor..." she snickered, with a glance at Barton.

He ran a hand through his short, spiky hair. "Geez Nat, don't even say it, okay?"

Darcy looked between the two of them. Clint had a sheepish expression that held a tinge of guilt. Was this what Sitwell and Coulson had found so amusing? "What happened?" she demanded, crossing her arms and trying to look stern.

It worked, apparently, because Barton ducked his head. "I was trying to tranq Hulk so he wouldn't go after the bugs. But Thor was hanging onto him, and Hulk moved him right into my shot."

Laughter bubbled out of Darcy's mouth. "You tranquilized Thor? Oh that's too awesome! And it put him down?"

Clint shrugged. "It was a Hulk dose. Apparently, that's enough to even knock out the God of Thunder."

Darcy had a good chuckle about that. Bruce would probably be mortified when he woke up, but it was too funny not to share. Poor Thor would be in for some ribbing when he woke. Taken down by a tranq dart. What kind of Thunder God was he?

Coulson approached. "Good job, Miss Lewis."

She grinned. "I have skills. Will someone give me a lift back to the Tower?"

Coulson tilted his head to one side. "Of course. I am not in the habit of abandoning assets in the middle of a previous battlefield."

It was stupid, really, but she felt a thrill as Coulson labeled her an asset. That was a step up from being a liability, which was what she had been told she was after Thor first fell to Earth. The S.H.I.E.L.D agents that had brought Jane's equipment back had been very clear about what she was. They had also expressed what their solution would have been. She was not needed. Jane and Erik were the scientists. She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It was really nice to feel appreciated.

She rode back to the Tower in the spy van. She would have ridden in the medical van, but it was full at the moment. Natasha and Clint were the only able bodied Avengers leaving the scene. That was actually really funny.

She waited until they had Bruce settled into a secure bed, and then she wiggled in under him so that he was resting against her.

"Uf…Doc Moppy…you're pretty solid." She ran fingers through his hair, enjoying the quiet time. It would be nice if Bruce could come to some sort of acceptance of Big Green, because both aspects of him were adorable.

She wasn't stupid. She knew that Hulk had done some terrible things in the past. But all he knew was rage and fighting. Hulk didn't get to have down time laughing with friends, and just chilling out enjoying something. Anything. He was only out when things were blowing up, and bullets were flying. She was glad that she had been able to give him some quieter times, even if they directly followed the explosions and bullets. He seemed to be better at following directions now, and not running over everything in his path.

Bruce was warm, she learned. Perhaps because of the struggle inside of him? Darcy wasn't sure, but she did know that he would be the best boyfriend ever over the winter.

He wasn't out too long. She heard an indrawn breath, and then he was sitting up suddenly. From behind, Darcy could see the whole body flinch that moved through him, and wished that it didn't hurt him to move back and forth between Big Green and himself. It was probably just one more thing that had pulled him down into despair and anger and avoidance.

She reached out to massage his sore muscles. The sound he made when she touched him shot through her whole body straight to her happy place. Oh god. And then he did it again!

"Didn't peg you as a loud one, Doc," she leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "I'll keep that in mind."

He twitched, and his muscles tensed under her hands before she smoothed them out. "You're playing with fire," he warned.

She teased him lightly, reminding him that she was a Hulk tamer and that's why Coulson brought her in. When he stiffened again, Darcy bit her lip and wished her mouth knew when to stay closed.

Bruce's expression, when he sat up and turned to look at her, gave Darcy a tingle. He was very concerned that Coulson had brought her to the scene, and it seemed like Big Green would break out, but she seized his face in her hands, and talked him through it. Bruce calmed with several deep breaths, and she hastened to assure him that she had been safe.

Knowing how much he hated the medical floor, she urged him to his feet and slipped under his shoulder to support him. They made their lopsided way back to Bruce's rooms. On the way, judging by the thought lines on Bruce's forehead, he was thinking too hard about something, so Darcy swatted him on the backside. Bruce yelped and stared down at her accusingly, but she just answered honestly that it seemed he was thinking too many serious thoughts.

They finally made it to his rooms. Darcy didn't hesitate. She marched right inside once the door was finally opened, keeping Bruce from tilting too far in one direction.

He was still worrying at the idea of her being at the battle scene though. Darcy tried to reassure him. The man worried about too many things as it was. It was a wonder that he didn't have an ulcer.

"Just…just promise me that you'll be smart about it, okay? No dashing into the middle of a battlefield."

Well that was weird. Did he really think she'd do something like that? Did he think she was that flighty?

She got him settled onto the sofa, and then headed for his kitchenette to make tea for him. Special tea, she figured, when she caught a glimpse of the bottle of Scotch, tucked behind something in the cabinets. Doc Moppy needed to relax. He was always wound so tight, always worried, and he really needed to just let it all go.

She heard him quietly asking Jarvis about Thor and Tony. The AI reported that they were both still unconscious, but well. Steve was awake and recovering from multiple fractured ribs. Ouch. She nearly swallowed her tongue when the AI, voice tone blushing, reported that Clint and Natasha were occupied. A sneak peek at Bruce revealed a slight flush and a hard swallow as he digested that news. Poor Bruce. She wasn't helping, teasing him mercilessly. But she couldn't help it! She wanted to get filthy with the man. There was just that big, green problem when he got excited.

Hmm…and she had that big, green problem wrapped around her finger. Maybe…

Bruce sniffed at the tea suspiciously when she brought it to him, but finally sipped it. A surprised grin told her he liked it. He kept sipping, clearly enjoying the taste. When his shoulders relaxed marginally, he finally seemed to realize what she had put in the tea, and his eyes went wide.

"You should go," he urged, looking faintly regretful. ""Alcohol lowers my control levels."

Yeah, that's what she was hoping for. Darcy half-rose from the sofa and turned, throwing one leg over Bruce's thighs she could settle down on his lap, facing him. He looked caught and cornered, twitchy, but with a boiling haze of lust behind the fear.

It was time to push. She knew that without having to think twice about it. Darcy dug her hands into his hair, ignoring his strangled protests, and pressed her mouth to his. For a second, he still felt twitchy, but then he relaxed even further, sliding his arms around her and pulling her close.

Darcy wasn't quite prepared when his mouth took over, plundering hers, making her gasp. Her body moved automatically, grinding down on him, losing a little bit of herself in the desperate breaths he took, and the small lunges his hips made, pressing them together even more. He was eager, yet fearful at the same time.

She gasped when his hands slid up under her shirt in the back, nerves firing from the unexpected skin to skin contact. Oh yeah. This could only get better from here. She bit down lightly on Bruce's lower lip, rewarded with a strangled noise.

She felt his hands slide down to her waist and try to push her away as he gasped out the warning that Big Green was almost ready to bust out. It was time to take charge of situation.

She seized his head in both hands, looking straight into the eyes that were almost entirely green. And she told him how much she loved seeing him, but that she loved seeing Bruce too, and right now, Bruce needed her and she was there to protect him.

She could see the conflict in Bruce's face. Half of his expression was his, the other half seemed to belong to Big Green as it twisted in confusion. She reassured him with touches and whispered words that Bruce was safe. The excitement Big Green felt was a good thing for Bruce, and he needed to stay with her.

She could see the moment Big Green conceded. Bruce relaxed, and the eyes staring up at her were brown again. Darcy felt a fierce jolt of triumph flow throw her, followed by almost overwhelming need.

"Oh Doc," she whispered, "I think life is about to get very interesting."

She felt Bruce's nod as she claimed his mouth, heard and felt his ragged breathing, and decided that the sofa wasn't the place to be. She tried to stand up, but Bruce's hands dug into her hips, holding her pressed against him. He stood up suddenly, making her gasp, but she didn't fall. The doc's hands were holding her in place. Darcy helpfully wrapped her legs around his waist, eliciting a groan from deep inside Bruce's panting frame.

She could feel all those delicious yoga muscles flex against her as he carried her toward what was obviously his bedroom. The heat coming off of him was nearly overwhelming, and Bruce almost seemed to be operating on autopilot. That was good actually. If he started thinking too much…

There wasn't much thought in his head other than the immediate, she was glad to realize. Darcy found herself pressed down into the bed, with Bruce touching every bit of her that he could. It woke up every nerve in her body and had them clamoring for more. She satisfied herself with wrapping her arms and legs around him so he couldn't get away, not that he was trying.

Her hands buried themselves in his fluffy hair and held tight while they just kissed the shit out of each other. Darcy couldn't remember the last time she'd just made out like this, if ever. It was heady; a slow burn to a level of arousal that she wasn't sure she'd ever experienced before.

Her hands slid up under Bruce's shirt, sliding along the taut muscles of his back. He made a noise against her mouth and drew back briefly to tug the shirt off, seams separating easily. Darcy twitched. That was really…really hot. He just…he just shredded his shirt!

Bruce caught her staring, and ducked his head to the side a little self consciously. "What?" he asked, trying to draw back even further, avoiding her eyes. Darcy had him trapped though, legs looped around his hips.

She flexed those legs. "You don't get to run away from me, Dr. Banner. Especially not now."

His eyes came back to focus on her. "Are you sure? I'm no prize."

Darcy grinned as her eyes raked over his bare torso, leanly muscled from his yoga, with a generous furring of chest hair. Aaannnndddd….that was too much to resist. Her hands slid up through the chest hair, bringing a shudder to Bruce's entire frame, and sending his eyes closed.

"I know you _think_ you're not a prize Bruce, but trust me…you totally are." Mmm…he felt really good. She really wanted to know how he'd feel pressed against her without clothing. With that thought in mind, she pulled her own shirt off. Over her head though, because she couldn't just rip her shirt off.

The flash of Bruce's eyes sent tingles through her. "C'mere," she instructed, crooking a finger at him. "I'm completely sure. I have been since Big Green first carried me away." When he didn't move, she poked him in the arm. "Bruce…it was totally hot that you tore your own shirt off. Like a bad romance novel or something, but it worked, cuz I'm all worked up. The only thing that could be hotter is maybe if you tear off your pants. But I think I'm gonna do that for you."

He growled at her, _growled_, and bent over to seize her mouth again. Damn that was really hot, the growling. Darcy nipped his lip in appreciation and then gasped when his mouth went traveling.

"Oh," she gasped out. "Oh wow."

Clothing started flying everywhere. But before everything went away, Darcy snagged what was in her jeans pocket – the one thing she made sure she always had on her after meeting Bruce.

He grinned crookedly when he saw the condom packet. "You were prepared," he whispered to her huskily.

Darcy tore it open. "For you? Always. Didn't want to give you another excuse to try to run away from me."

"Done running," Bruce assured her. "Found a place I belong, I'm accepted." His smile grew a little loopy. "All of me."

Darcy reached for him. "Good."

Darcy woke near dawn with a heavy weight draped across her, legs tangled with Bruce's. She was tired, sore, and insanely happy. As suspected, Bruce had gone a little crazy once she'd bargained with Big Green to keep him from busting out. Then again, Bruce'd been a little…backed up? Like for years? Apparently, it had given him lots of energy and stamina.

Her lips quirked. The man had lots of stamina. That was gonna be fun. Really fun. Now that they knew she could talk Big Green out of interrupting the moment, life was going to be very interesting.

A discreet and quiet cough caught her attention. "Ms. Lewis?"

"Yes Jarvis?" she whispered.

"Mr. Stark has woken, and wishes to know if Dr. Banner is well."

"Tell him yes," Darcy instructed softly. "Dr. Banner is very well."

She could hear the embarrassment in the AI's tone. "Very good, Ms. Lewis."

"Yes he was," she said smugly.

Bruce stirred. "Darcy? Is everything okay?"

She slipped her arms around him. "Just fine, Doc Moppy. Go back to sleep."

He nestled back into her and did just that.

* * *

_Okay…so I know some of you prefer the dirty details. But I don't want to change my rating, and I like to leave things to the imagination. Most of you can probably think hotter moments than I would write anyhow. _

_Hope this part was worth the wait. I'm not truly satisfied with it, but then again, I'm usually not. Lol._


	14. Chapter 14

Ahh…the morning and day after. An assortment of reactions from others, and an unexpected concern.

You guys continue to be fantastic, thank you!

* * *

Incessant knocking woke them. Darcy pulled her face off of Bruce's bare chest, winced when she saw the drool puddle, and blinked sleepily. Bruce's own eyes flickered open seconds later, and his smile when he saw her put the sun to shame. Darcy bit her lip, and squeezed his torso. It was very good to see Bruce look happy, at ease. And that smile! Brighter than the sun. Wait…

Oh shit! The sun shouldn't be that bright.

"Crap," she murmured, sitting up. "I think we overslept."

Bruce shrugged, folding his arms behind his head. "I think we deserved to," he pointed out.

Darcy stared down at him, biting her lip. Dr. Banner looked a little wanton all sprawled out on his bed naked, with only a sheet draped scandalously low over his hips. "Aside from the drool puddle, you could totally be a centerfold," she told him.

He raised one eyebrow. "The Avengers – Out of Costume?"

Oh yeah, she liked this playful new Bruce. "I like it. I'd totally buy it. Well…I wouldn't need to buy it, would I?"

He grinned. "Nope. You can have it whenever you want it."

She bit her lip. "I like that idea. A lot. Sorry about the drool."

Bruce lifted his head far enough to see the drool trail on his chest. "It's fine, Darcy. Sorry about the uh…the hickies." He flushed a little, which was completely adorable, and dragged a hand through his hair. "Why did we wake up?"

She was distracted briefly, remembering how enthusiastically he had used his mouth and wondering how bad the hickies were. There were some bruised looking love bites on her chest, she had already noticed, and on his neck. Unless they took some drastic cover up precautions, everyone would know what they had been up to. Then she remembered her early morning conversation with Jarvis, and figured they already did.

"Somebody is knocking," she realized.

Bruce's eyes widened. "Tony," he guessed, sitting up abruptly.

With the frequency and persistence of the knocking, Darcy agreed. Anyone else would have departed by now. But Stark was persistent. He sort of reminded her of the character of Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory. Too smart for his own good, and socially awkward. He probably wanted to gloat. He would keep knocking until they opened the door. Although why he didn't ask Jarvis to open the door…

Bruce swung out of bed, wrapping a sheet around his waist. Darcy pulled the remaining sheet in snugly around herself and admired the view as Bruce padded out of the bedroom. His pert little butt was flexing under the sheet, and she could totally appreciate the play of muscle in his back and shoulders. Now that she had very intimate experience with that body, she was free to oogle it without feeling guilty. Touching it had been very nice too.

"Stop staring at my butt," he called over his shoulder.

Darcy grinned. "It's a nice butt," she returned saucily as he left the bedroom.

She heard Tony Stark as soon as the door opened. "C'mon Banner. You don't get to play hooky from the lab just because you went all big green and crazy yesterday. Thanks for saving my butt, by the way. Seriously man, it's almost noon and you're just rolling out of bed? You getting lazy now that you don't have to live on the run anymore?"

Darcy was confused. Jarvis hadn't told Tony? That was…odd. She heard Bruce try to make some sort of coherent reply to Tony's apparent energetic one.

"No Brucey, I don't wanna hear your justification for being a lazy butt. Why don't you get some clothes on so we can go be geeky together, huh? And clean yourself up man. You're still dirty. Wait. Wait a minute. That's not dirt on your neck. That's…holy shit, Banner! That's a love bite! Oh Brucey! She figured it out, didn't she? She figured out how to keep the Hulk from busting out while you got some, didn't she? Look at you! I don't think I've ever seen you look so relaxed! See what being backed up does to ya?"

His mouth kept running and it was drawing closer. Darcy rolled her eyes, but propped herself up on her elbows, making sure the sheet was securely tucked in around her.

Stark peeked in the door, and he looked absolutely delighted when he saw her. "Kick Ass!" he greeted. "It looks like you totally mauled Dr. Banner. He has a silly little smile on his face. I guess I would too if I'd been backed up for years. I can't see how he survived, honestly. But no wonder he was still in bed. Did you two marathon sex all night?"

Darcy took in the wide, bright eyes, the eager expression, and hated to disappoint him, but really? "Tony? You need to leave now. Bruce and I would like to continue having alone time."

He grinned. "You _did_ have marathon sex all night! That's awesome. You used protection, right? Don't know what effect Bruce's gamma irradiated sperm might have on you."

"Tony!" she yelped. "I am not discussing this with you. Go!"

His laugh lingered as the billionaire scooted away from the bedroom (and apparently Bruce's swat). The thump of the door closing reassured her that he was gone. "Thanks for not telling him, Jarvis. I think."

The AI's tone was slightly embarrassed. "If I had, he would have been here much earlier."

"Then it's definitely appreciated," Bruce decided, walking back into the bedroom. "He'll be impossible from now on."

Darcy bit her lip as he dropped his sheet. "I can live with that." She made grabby hands at him. "Come here, Dr. Banner. I want to exhaust you a little more."

Bruce's answering grin was priceless.

Much later, after a tussle, a shower (dripping wet naked Bruce was so hot it blew her mind) and food, Darcy felt ready to finally go to work. She looped her arm through Bruce's, and they headed for the lab.

Bruce couldn't stop smiling as they rode the elevator. "I look like an idiot, don't I?" he asked when Darcy grinned at him. "I look like an idiot because I'm smiling like I just smoked the huge bag of weed that Tony always accuses me of hiding somewhere. The one that allows me to put up with him without the Other Guy making an appearance."

She laughed. "Oh Bruce. That is such an image. I'll have to remember that one. Dr. Banner and his huge bag of weed. Like the love affair in the Harold and Kumar movies." She could tell from his blank look that he didn't know what she was talking about, so Darcy put watching those movies on a list of things to do with him. "Tony probably believes that's the only way you can put up with him." She laughed again. "Now he'll claim it's because you're not backed up anymore."

Bruce flushed, but couldn't stop smiling. "He would probably be right if he did. I…" he ducked his head. "I can't even begin to describe how I'm feeling right now."

She squeezed his arm. "Say it when you feel you can." She rose onto her toes to whisper in his ear. "Besides, I got a good idea of how you felt based on all those lovely noises you made. Along with the swearing. I totally didn't picture you as having a dirty mouth during sex, Doc Moppy. It was hot."

He laughed. "I'm full of surprises."

Jane knew immediately, when Darcy finally walked into the lab. The astrophysicist paused, taking in Darcy's smile and the love bites on her neck, and just shook her head.

"I'm happy for you," she said. "Is everything…okay?"

Darcy smirked. "Everything is fine. More than fine, really. Life is good."

The rest of her day passed in a pleasant haze. Every movement made Darcy's muscles ping and reminded her of the bliss filled night she had shared with Bruce. It had been…amazing. Watching Bruce Banner, who was like the poster-child of self control, come undone had wrecked her on multiple levels. Darcy had found herself so close to tears of wonder during the night that she had to express herself loudly, to explain away any incidental moisture in her eyes.

Bruce hadn't complained.

Her mind, which never really rested, was worrying over what happened now. Would Bruce still be able to Hulk at will? He had explained that he was always angry, that was his secret to control. Would he still have that core of never-ending anger? Then again, the anger pre-dated the creation of the Hulk, or so Bruce had hinted at. He hadn't had a happy childhood. Whenever parents were mentioned, he flinched, and Darcy could only wonder what kind of childhood he'd had. She suspected it had been very bad. Something had happened to create the core of repressed rage that had finally found an outlet when Bruce had been hit with an overwhelmingly lethal dose of gamma radiation. Instead of dying, his inner rage beast had suddenly found a way to claw its way free of his iron control.

What if she'd inadvertently revoked Bruce's membership on the team? If he couldn't Hulk, he couldn't go out to fight the battles when they were needed. It would crush his spirit, she knew. Bruce had found a home here, had found a family that accepted all of him. To be denied that kinship…

Those thoughts kept spinning around in her head until Darcy yelled in frustration, and pounded her fists on the nearest table.

That caught Jane's attention, and her boss bustled over. "That's more the reaction of someone who hadn't spent the night wrestling with a hot scientist/super hero. What's wrong?"

Darcy met Jane's eyes, her own full of vulnerability and worry. "What if I broke him?" she whispered. "What if he can't Hulk anymore?"

Jane blinked. "I…I didn't realize that was a concern." She pulled a chair over and sat down.

"Maybe only in my head. But what if…what if he can't do it on command anymore? What if…" Darcy buried her head in her hands. "My usual worries after sleeping with someone don't seem to apply here. Instead, my worries are much bigger. And green. My concerns are big and green, Jane. I…Big Green trusts me, and I convinced him to not come busting out. What if…what if he goes away? Then Bruce is just Bruce and he can't go out and fight bad guys. And he needs that."

Jane patted her arm. "Have you talked to Bruce about this worry? I mean, wouldn't he be the one to put it to rest?"

Darcy lowered her hands and looked up at her friend. "I can't talk to Bruce about it. If he starts doubting himself, then it's even more likely to happen. It's like an erection, Jane. If you doubt you're capable of it, then you probably won't be. I don't want to be the reason for Bruce's Hulk impotence."

Jane blinked again. "I can't believe we're comparing Bruce's ability to unleash the Hulk to Bruce's ability to have an erection."

Darcy shook her head. "Just in general, Foster. Not Bruce's ability to have an erection. He had no problems. And I don't foresee any problems in that department in the future. But I am worried about his ability to let Big Green bust out. He just started getting it under control, to where he could choose when to let Big Green out. I don't want him to lose that ability. What if…what if he needs to keep feeling alone, and repressed in order to maintain that ability?" Darcy heaved a big sigh. "I mean, that would totally suck and everything, but I don't want to be the reason he can't be on the team anymore."

She squirmed a little uncomfortably under Jane's staring gaze. "What?"

"Why are you fretting about something when you don't even know if it's a problem?"

Darcy twisted her hands together, not sure if she could explain it. "Because it didn't matter before. I never dated anyone who did anything important, so if I screwed anything up, it wouldn't affect the world as we know it. But Bruce…he's a big deal, Jane. I just…I don't want to be the mistress that destroys the politician's career, okay? That bit of fun that comes back to bite ass in a big way."

Jane's lips compressed into that thin line that said she was angry. "Darcy Lewis. How can you even think of yourself that way? You are not a dirty little secret. You are openly dating a wonderful guy who just happens to be a superhero. Yes, the thought is a little overwhelming at first. Trust me! I had my own moments of feeling not worthy, but they chose us."

"Fury doesn't like the idea."

One elegant eyebrow arched toward Jane's hairline. "Fury doesn't like a lot of ideas. He doesn't like anything that isn't under his control. That doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Has anyone other than S.H.I.E.L.D expressed the thought that this is a bad idea – you and Bruce?"

"Well…no."

Jane folded her arms across her chest. "And there you have it. Besides, Thor thinks it's a great idea, and he's the God of Thunder so he can't be wrong."

That startled a laugh out of Darcy and made her feel a little better. It was just, well, like she'd told Jane – Bruce was a big deal. She didn't want to be responsible for messing anything up because it could have serious effects.

Jane unbent enough to reach out and pat her shoulder again. "Have faith, Darcy. Believe."

She wanted to.

* * *

The reality of living and working in a tower controlled and monitored by a flighty genius and his self made nanny was brought to Darcy's attention near the end of the work day when Tony strolled into the lab and informed Jane that he had to 'borrow' Darcy for an important discussion. Jane just rolled her eyes and waved her hand dismissively.

Darcy was more than a little nervous when Tony directed her out of the lab, down the hall, and into a small little conference room. He paced with his usual frenetic energy while she sat down and watched him.

"What, Tony?" she finally asked.

He stopped pacing and stared down at her. "You think this will interfere with Bruce's ability to Hulk on command?"

Darcy gaped at him. "How do you know that?"

The billionaire shrugged. "Jarvis told me. He keeps me up to date with important information."

She was offended. "That's creepy, Stark. Creepy." A shudder ran through her at the thought of being watched over that closely. Even though Jarvis had promised not to watch (or record) in her room. But what about the other rooms? What about in Bruce's room?

A finger tapped on her forehead "Hello? Bruce? Hulk failure?" Tony did look concerned, which meant she wasn't entirely crazy for thinking of the idea.

Darcy swatted his finger away and sighed. "It's just a concern, Tony. I don't want Bruce to even hear about this." She glared at him, and Tony softened a little.

"Agreed. The whole erection failure discussion. I get that." He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "We'll work something out. A test! We can test your ability to de-Hulk Bruce. We'll ask him to Hulk, and then you can talk him down, see if it works."

Darcy had to smile. "That sounds…plausible."

He grinned. "Of course. I think work has just finished on the Hulk proof basement level, so we can do it there."

Darcy raised a questioning eyebrow. "Does Bruce know you put in a Hulk proof level?"

Tony Stark smirked. "Not yet. It'll be a multi-test. See how well the Hulk proofing holds up, and see if he has any issues performing."

Darcy reached out and swatted him. "I haven't forgiven you for being creepy and all Big Brother-ish, but sometimes you surprise me, Tony Stark. You hide it well, but underneath the outer abrasive layers, you're a good man."

He fell quiet for a bit, and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "I'll deny that to the press, if you try to tell anyone else."

Darcy mimed zipping her lips. "Not a word. I'll pretend I still think you're an ass to anyone who asks."

Stark's lips quirked in a grin. "Good girl. I hope that not having blue balls anymore doesn't affect Bruce's playtime in the lab with me. Cuz we have fun, you know?"

Darcy bit back the first three things she wanted to say, but then figured what the hell? "That sounds totally slash, Tony. What are you doing with my man when you two are in the lab?"

The billionaire spluttered a bit, eyes wide open in astonishment. "Geez kid. That's just wrong."

Darcy shrugged. "Don't say stuff like that, then. Did you even hear what you said? 'I hope that not having blue balls anymore doesn't affect Bruce's playtime in the lab with me. Cuz we have fun, you know?' Really?"

Tony had the good grace to wince.

He calmly advised her that he'd take care of the testing, and let her know when it was. Then he took off, practically bouncing with nervous energy. Darcy relaxed minutely. It was very nice to know that someone else was going to worry about things for her. She knew Tony would be thorough in his testing.

She wandered back to the lab, somewhat bemused. Jane only shook her head and grinned.

What was left of the day passed agonizingly slowly. Bruce wanted to cook dinner for her, which set off all kinds of tingles in Darcy's extremities. She'd never dated anyone who _could_ cook, much less had the desire to and wanted to do it for her. It made her feel very special.

When Thor arrived to pull Jane away from her work for the day, he was beaming with that golden smile and Darcy figured that gossip had spread quickly. That was confirmed when Thor came to her and enveloped her in a hug.

"Congratulations on your successful campaign, Darcy. Dr. Banner looks most pleased."

"Ohmigod, Thor," she murmured into his chest, trying to pull away. "That's like Asgardian for 'way to get laid', right?"

The God of Thunder released her and took a step back with an eye crinkling smile. "I am happy for you, Darcy."

She pondered several snappy comebacks, but then replied simply. "Thank you, Thor." She didn't doubt that he was. Thor tended to say what he felt, and that made dealing with him remarkably easy. "Still holding out hope that Hulk won't pound on you?"

Thor heaved a huge sigh. "Perhaps. Dr. Banner's inner beast may yet come to accept me as a warrior in arms."

Darcy reached out to pat him on the arm. "Someday, Thor. Someday."

Bruce arrived right after Thor finally pulled Jane away from her work. Darcy heard the God of Thunder's boisterous greeting outside the lab, and smiled to herself. She couldn't stop herself from walking closer to the door so she could overhear their conversation a little better.

"Darcy is very dear to me, Banner. Know that I will be very angered if you are to hurt her in any way."

Darcy face palmed. She really didn't need an Asgardian older brother. Bruce's reply was so soft that she only caught bits and pieces of it. He mentioned keeping her safe and happy, and her being the most amazing woman. It made her blush.

It seemed the reply was enough to soothe Thor's concerns. "Very well. I am pleased that she has been able to tame the savage beast within you. Your inner rage deserves to be soothed by her ample charms."

A strangled "Thor!" told Darcy that Jane couldn't listen to anymore, and she heard Thor's shouted goodbye fading into the distance. She slapped her hands over her mouth to hold in the giggles, and that's how Bruce found her as he came into the lab. His eyes darted from her position near the door to the retreating back of his teammate, visible through the closing door, and then back again. He looked torn for a moment, as if he might blush and stutter something, but then he just started to laugh softly.

"I can't believe this is my life now," he said after his chuckles tapered off. "Surrounded by nosy busybodies who seem to be _very_ invested in my personal life."

Darcy finally removed the hands from her mouth. "Don't forget the secret government agency too."

He sighed. "Yeah. Them too."

She bit her lip. "Regrets, Dr. Banner?"

His expression nearly undid her. "Only that I waited so long and tried to push you away. I can be stubborn like that." He held one hand out. "Ready to go?"

Darcy slid her hand into his. "For you, Bruce? Always."


	15. Chapter 15

This chapter didn't want to happen. It didn't know which direction it wanted to take, and consequently, was rewritten about six times. Grrrr…. Anyhow…here it is, finally!

All of my readers rock. Thanks for sticking with this!

Bruce's POV! And Hulk too!

* * *

Waking up with a curvy young brunette sprawled across his chest was the best start to a day that Bruce Banner could remember having in a very, very, long time. It was a little surreal at first, like he was still sleeping and having the best dream of his life. But then she squeezed him, and it was all real, and he felt the huge smile that crept across his face. It felt…unfamiliar.

She sat up, and he couldn't help his appreciative stare. She hid an amazing body under her mostly shapeless clothes, and he could look at her forever. Well…and touch her too. He sprawled a little bonelessly deeper into the bed, staring up at the young woman who had changed his life so much in the short time he'd known her.

She bit her lip as she stared down at him, eyes sweeping over his mostly uncovered body. Last night, she had expressed her appreciation of his body time and time again, glad that she was allowed to look and touch now. It had been a terrible temptation before, she had admitted, to not look whenever he shrank down from being the Other Guy and was naked. Bruce didn't care. She had every right, now, to stare.

She apologized for the drool on his chest, and he apologized for the hickies he had left on her neck. There had been a lot of making out during the night, like they were teenagers or something. But it had been so long for him that he felt like it was all brand new again, and maybe he only had this one time, so he made the most of every second of it. Darcy hadn't complained at all, and had done the same thing to his neck.

Amid some light banter about a naughty Avengers calendar, they both seemed to realize that their waking had not been natural. As if on cue, knocking sounded at the door. Again. They both knew who it probably was, given that it was late morning and Bruce was usually already in the lab. Tony probably wanted to be geeky with him. It was a new experience for the genius, having someone he actually liked working with around.

Bruce rolled out of bed, snagging a sheet to wrap around his waist, and headed for the door. He could feel Darcy's eyes on him as he walked away, and finally couldn't resist calling over his shoulder for her to stop staring at his butt.

Tony was practically bouncing in agitation when Bruce opened the door, and he swept right in. "C'mon Banner. You don't get to play hooky from the lab just because you went all big green and crazy yesterday. Thanks for saving my butt, by the way. Seriously man, it's almost noon and you're just rolling out of bed? You getting lazy now that you don't have to live on the run anymore?"

"I think I'm occasionally allowed to indulge in some slothful behavior," Bruce told him. He marveled at his own personal evolution. A few months ago, standing in front of anyone, much less Tony Stark, wearing only a sheet would have traumatized him. Now? It didn't really bother him all that much.

Stark rolled his eyes. "No Brucey, I don't wanna hear your justification for being a lazy butt. Why don't you get some clothes on so we can go be geeky together, huh? And clean yourself up man. You're still dirty. Wait. Wait a minute. That's not dirt on your neck. That's…holy shit, Banner! That's a love bite! Oh Brucey! She figured it out, didn't she? She figured out how to keep the Hulk from busting out while you got some, didn't she? Look at you! I don't think I've ever seen you look so relaxed! See what being backed up does to ya?"

Taking in the wide eyes, gaping mouth smile, and frenetic gesturing, Bruce wondered if Tony was more excited about how things had worked out than he and Darcy were. It was nice to know that he cared.

He trailed, a bit reluctantly, after Tony who apparently had decided that he had to get visual confirmation on what had happed the night before. Darcy handled it like a pro, propping herself up on her elbows with the sheet carefully tucked around her. She listened to Tony's excited babble for a little bit until the billionaire asked about protection, insinuating that Bruce's gamma irradiated sperm could have weird effects on her. Then she kicked him out.

When she reached for him, Bruce's stomach went all aflutter. He could get used to this.

After an enjoyable morning tussle, they headed for the shower. Bruce had a moment of complete disconnect from reality when the young woman with naughty eyes, dripping wet and naked, soaped him thoroughly, as if she couldn't get enough of touching him. It was surreal and for that moment, he was sure he was stuck in the private hell of dreaming. Fantastic while it lasted, but excruciating upon waking to discover it wasn't real.

Somehow, she saw and recognized the moment. With a low, wicked laugh, Darcy pinched his side firmly, eliciting a protest from Bruce. He stared down into her impudent grin, soap sudsy hands pressed to his chest, and tried to keep the silly grin from spreading across his face. It was real. This was real, and this wonderful young woman, for whatever reason, had chosen him.

If Darcy wondered or worried at why he slid wet soapy arms around her and squeezed her tight, she didn't let on, just hugged him back. It was just what Bruce needed.

He couldn't stop smiling, he realized as they got dressed and grabbed some takeout leftovers from his refrigerator. Literally, the muscles in his face were starting to hurt from the stupid, goofy grin. Well, he deserved to smile, didn't he? It had been a long time since he felt as relaxed as he did right now. Relaxed and at peace. With someone who knew all of him and accepted all of him. It was a good way to feel.

He commented on it in the elevator, as they finally (finally!) headed out to resume their normal abnormal routine. Darcy smiled at him, and laughed when he suggested he probably looked like he was hitting up a large bag of weed.

When he told her he was going to cook dinner for them, she looked stunned and a little vulnerable. That told Bruce all he needed to know about the quality of guys (boys) she had dated previously. He hadn't asked. He didn't really want to know, but he couldn't imagine that she'd spent a lot of time alone. She was too pretty and too amazing. He wasn't sure why she had suddenly become interested in an older, damaged man, but he was grateful. So very grateful.

He left her at Foster's lab, and continued on to his own space in a bemused daze, lost in the memories of the night. He hadn't felt this relaxed in a very long time. He made a mental list of the ingredients he would need for dinner, and rattled them off to Jarvis with a request to have them delivered before the end of the day.

"Of course, Dr. Banner," Jarvis assured. "And may I just compliment you on your current cheerful demeanor? Ms. Lewis seems to have a very calming effect on you."

Bruce, thinking back to some of the very not-calming things that had taken place during the night, choked a little. "Uh…thanks Jarvis." He flushed red and then wanted to smack himself for being embarrassed about thinking naughty thoughts while talking to an artificial intelligence programmed by Tony Stark. He had _heard_ some of the things Jarvis said to his creator. Jarvis was no innocent.

Bruce was sure he didn't imagine the faint amusement in Jarvis's voice. "You're welcome sir."

Even though Bruce's work day had started after noon, he had no intention of working late into the night. He finally had something to look forward to, instead of the never ending enduring he had previously suffered. Now…now he didn't feel like he was enduring. Now…life was something worth living.

Bruce honestly couldn't have told anyone what he worked on during the afternoon. He would admit to being a little, a lot, distracted. Luckily, Jarvis had his back. The AI several times had to call him back to attention in time to prevent messing something up in a big way. Tony was less than helpful. He just kept howling with laughter and speculating on exactly what kind of night Bruce and Darcy had had.

When Jarvis informed that the dinner supplies had been delivered, Tony was almost intolerable. "Oh Brucey! You're cooking for her? That's pretty heavy, Hulk man. No wonder you can't concentrate. You're too busy thinking about what might happen tonight." The billionaire sighed, appearing briefly forlorn. "What about me, Brucey? Are you abandoning me?"

Bruce tried not to smile. An insecure Tony Stark was something he was pretty sure that most of the world didn't even suspect existed. "Don't worry Tony. I'll always have time for you, too." He reached up to pat Tony on the arm. "But I've had some time with you since this whole thing started, and I haven't had much time with Darcy."

Stark pouted. "Just because she has a bigger chest…"

Bruce looked down at the floor and off to one side, hiding his smile. "Sorry Tony. If it comes down to a contest between your chests, Darcy definitely wins. And I'd much rather touch hers than yours."

Tony wilted. "Geez. And here I thought I was completely irresistible. That's what the media tells me."

Bruce snorted. "Um…yeah. I don't swing that way Tony. But if I did…"

The billionaire's sudden cocky smile almost made him laugh. "Ha! Knew it." Tony folded his arms across his chest. "I just want you to pay attention to me, Brucey. Hey! Tomorrow, let's spend some time testing the Hulk-proof level!"

Bruce blinked at him. "You put in a Hulk-proof level?"

Tony winked. "Yep. It's underground, but should hold Not-So-Jolly."

Bruce heaved a great sigh. "Yes, I think I can manage that."

Tony peered at him, walking around one of their hologram displays and coming to a stop right in front of him. He tilted his head to one side, probably looking at Bruce's tired, puffy eyes with a shadowing of dark circles under them. "Kick Ass totally wore you out, didn't she?"

Bruce looked away. "Maybe I'm just not used to…um…so much activity when I'm _not_ the Other Guy."

His friend howled with laughter. "Poor Brucey. You'll adapt eventually. But sleep? It is kind of essential?"

Bruce heaved another sigh, running a hand through his hair in agitation, with a rueful smile. "I know. I'm just…enjoying the moment, you know?"

Stark's face twisted into faked wide-eyed astonishment. "Enjoying something, Dr. Banner? Isn't that against your nature?"

"Maybe before," Bruce admitted. "But Darcy helped open up possibilities of better times."

Tony's smile was genuine as he clapped Bruce on the shoulder. "She's helpful like that. Tell her to come play tomorrow too. I want to test her Hulk whispering abilities."

Darcy would probably enjoy that, Bruce mused. She loved demonstrating her control over his angrier self. "I'll do that." He tilted his head to one side. "Why a Hulk-proof level?"

Tony grinned. "You know, so the big guy can let off some steam without causing as much property damage."

Bruce's mouth twisted up in a wry smile. "Uh…thank you. You didn't have to do that."

The billionaire shrugged. "It's cheaper in the long run than paying the lawyers to defend against the lawsuits."

Hmm…probably true.

Dinner was totally a win, judging by Darcy's effusive praise. He liked that she had a hearty appetite. Betty had always eaten so lightly, overly concerned with her slender figure. Darcy wasn't afraid to have a few curves, and Bruce liked the raw honesty in her actions. The second helping she took, while babbling positive points about his cooking, assured him that she wasn't just saying she liked it.

They were sharing a laugh over Tony's forlorn abandonment issues when Darcy stilled suddenly, and frowned. Bruce was instantly alert. "What?"

She sighed, and met his eyes. Hers were twinkling a little. "The world is cruel, Bruce."

He raised an eyebrow. "Why is that?"

"Because I'm totally dating an Avenger, and I can't tell anyone. That is just cruel. A girl should get to brag about banging a super-hero, right?"

He choked on his food, and had to spit it out into a napkin. Darcy helpfully hopped up and circled the table to pat his back while he coughed, eyes watering. Finally, it ebbed enough that he could take a drink, and that calmed the tickle in his throat. Darcy pressed a kiss to his temple, started to turn away, and then turned back to give him a messy, food-tainted kiss to the mouth.

"Thank you, for making dinner for me," she breathed, pulling back.

Bruce blinked a few times as she circled the table to retake her seat. "You're welcome," he told her finally. "You taste delicious."

He watched her twitch in surprise, fork dropping from her fingers to somersault down her front. "Dammit Bruce. You can't say things like that when I'm trying to eat food. Look what I did!"

He tried to hide his grin, but it came through anyhow. "Sorry. When should I say things like that?"

Darcy rescued the fork from her lap, and met his eyes with a wink. "Oh you know. When you're going down on me."

Bruce actually managed to knock his plate off the table with that one.

* * *

He would admit to being a little nervous, and simultaneously awed. The Hulk-proof level was an enormous domed underground chamber, with tons of giant sized 'toys' for the Other Guy to play with, smash, etc.

Darcy and Tony stood to either side of him. Stark was looking around in satisfaction, while Darcy rubbernecked in fascination. She had been beyond thrilled when Bruce had mentioned Tony's new level and wanting to test both it and her calming abilities.

They hadn't expected Coulson to join them. Tony had stared in surprise when the elevator halted on the ground floor, instead of going to the sub-level like he'd instructed. When the doors had opened to Coulson's tired countenance, he hadn't protested, or berated Jarvis. He'd just stepped closer to the wall to make room for the agent.

Coulson had stepped in and turned to face the elevator door. "Miss Lewis. Dr. Banner. Mr. Stark."

Now the agent stood slightly behind them. He still looked like he was staying on his feet by sheer willpower. The doctor in Bruce wanted to make him sit, but the fighter inside appreciated Coulson's determination to get himself back to form. He hadn't seen the stabbing, but Thor had, and the God of Thunder had gone pale when recounting the story. That told Bruce all he needed to know. Loki had been brutally efficient in plunging his spear through Coulson's back and out through his chest. The agent should have died, but the dedicated S.H.I.E.L.D doctors had fought for him.

Even though Bruce barely knew him, he admired the hell out of Coulson. Anyone who could fight through the grievous wounding he'd received deserved admiration.

"Here to oversee Big Green's playtime?" Darcy asked cheekily, breaking the silence.

Coulson barely twitched. "Just observing, Miss Lewis."

Now that he was here, Bruce was getting a little anxious to get on with it. The Other Guy was itching to get out, mostly because he wanted to spend time with Darcy. He could feel that desire from his inner self, and had to marvel at Darcy's skills. She had Hulk completely tamed.

Tony was fiddling with some controls on his phone type thing, rather than giving verbal commands. Probably safer. If the Other Guy started making a lot of noise, Jarvis would never be able hear him. He finally looked up with a somewhat manic grin.

"Ready, Brucey?"

Bruce heard Darcy's snort of mirth, even as he nodded. "Please step back," he instructed Darcy and Coulson. When they had taken obedient steps away, he opened the gates to let his unusually gleeful alter ego come roaring out.

Pretty. Pretty make happy.

"Pretty."

"Hiya, Big Green. Looking handsome, as always."

Pretty pet arm. Mmmm…feel good. Metal man? Metal man come to play?

"Metal man play?"

"Hey big guy. You want to go a few rounds? Whoa. Okay. Yeah, don't smile at me like that, okay? It's scary. Uh…Darcy? You're ready to work your calming mojo, right?"

"What wrong, Tony? Big Green too much of a man for your tinfoil suit?" Pretty!

"Hey. That's not fair. Uh…hey big guy. Where are we going?"

"Play!"

Smash! Throw! Smash more! Pretty like? Pretty?

"Go Big Green!"

Smash! Jump! Swat metal man!

"Hey! No fair there, big guy! I'm not a play toy."

"Yet you've put yourself in the middle of Hulk's 'playthings', Mr. Stark. Naturally he assumes you're there to play."

"Whoa! I don't need snarky side comments, Agent. Geez, big guy! I'm glad you're on our side! Totally tougher than the Chitauri and their flying space slugs."

Jump! Smash. Swat metal man again. Play!

"I'll totally remember this, Brucey. Geez. Stop tossing me around!"

"Remember Tony, he really is only playing right now!"

"Yeah yeah. I know. I still have those Loki sized holes in my penthouse, remember? Big guy's not even trying right now."

"And yet he's still tossing you around like a rag doll, Mr. Stark."

"Seriously Agent…shut it."

Swat!

"Augh! Jarvis? Structural reinforcement seems to be holding up quite well."

"Yes sir. Although, as you have pointed out, the Hulk isn't even trying right now. Should he wish to, I believe he could do serious structural damage."

"Do you think he could-shit!"

"Metal man talk to Voice in Sky too much."

"Ya jealous, Brucey? You don't have to go love tapping me just because you're jealous."

"Ohmigod, Tony. Did you have sugar today?"

"Ha! Just the usual amount of coffee, Kick Ass."

Jump! Play!

"Whoa! Okay…not a doll, big guy. Not a doll. Um…Darcy?"

"Wimp."

Pretty! Pretty and not-dead man. Play?

"Uh…sorry Big Green. It's not really safe to play with you. We aren't in metal suits."

Drop metal man. "No play?"

"Sorry big guy. Tell you what though. You let Bruce come back, and I'll be sure to play with him."

"Oh Lewis! Yuck."

"Shut up, Tony. How about it, Big Green?"

"Play soft games?"

"Bwahahahaha…Tony – your face! You got it, big guy. I'll play some soft games with Bruce. You're there too, right?"

"Always there."

"That's what I thought. Damn, it's like a threesome. Tony? Tony? You okay?"

"I think I just threw up in my throat, Kick Ass."

"Miss Lewis…"

"Sorry, Double Oh. C'mon big guy."

Pretty…

* * *

Bruce did not want Tony's 'up to no good' expression to be the first thing he saw, but it was. The billionaire was unusually tousled, like after a battle when he'd been crashing around in his suit.

"What, Tony?"

"Your alter-ego is a love machine, Brucey."

Oh god….what happened? "What happened?" he asked, sitting up.

"Hulk totally propositioned Darcy. Like asked her if you guys were gonna play 'soft games' if he let you come back."

Bruce blinked. That was…different. "Is she okay? Is everyone okay?"

Stark waved dismissively. "Yeah, we're all fine. The Hulk-proof level stands up to medium level smashing so far, and your little Kick Ass is one of the scariest women I've ever met."

Bruce couldn't stop his smile. "You're just jealous. Where is she?"

"Coulson is debriefing her on the play session, even though he was there. He's very invested in your threeway dynamic."

Bruce shuddered a little as he remembered a threesome comment from Darcy. "I think I don't want to think about that right now."

Tony patted him on the shoulder. "Probably best for your sanity, Brucey. But you might want to take some wooing tips from your bigger, greener self."

That was right there in the column of things he didn't want to think about right now. "Maybe some time, Tony."


	16. Chapter 16

_Wow. So, so sorry for the long wait between chapters. I was buying a house, selling a house, and moving, so my muse took a vacation because she was too tired to think. I had maybe half of this chapter written, and then I saw Iron Man 3 and I scrapped almost the whole chapter and rewrote it in a few days. Go see the movie. Just for the extra scene. You'll laugh. Honest. _

_FYI – this chapter contains very vague spoilers for the Iron Man 3 movie_

_Thanks for sticking with me, everyone! _

* * *

There was either a leak in S.H.I.E.L.D , or a civilian had been lucky enough to film the robot bug battle and its aftermath without being caught by S.H.I.E.L.D. Darcy was still trying to process that as she watched the shaky footage of her sitting with Hulk, calming him. It had been on YouTube before S.H.I.E.L.D found it and shut it down.

"Bound to happen, right?" she asked Coulson nervously. Seeing herself on a video that had been available to the whole world was a little disconcerting. She had wondered why Coulson wanted to debrief her after Big Green's 'play' session. It turned out that he actually wanted to show her this video, without involving Bruce.

"Unfortunate," the agent replied. "We were hoping to avoid your public involvement."

"Why?"

Coulson frowned a little. "This makes you a target of anyone who has an interest in the Hulk because you are able to control him. Someone will identify who you are from this video, and from there, they'll find out where you are." His weary countenance made Darcy want to tell him to go home and rest, but she also wanted to hear what he had to say.

"So this means what?" She nervously twirled a pen between her fingers as her eyes stayed glued to the shaky video. Big Green was completely besotted, that was easy to see. He looked at her the same way Bruce did.

"This means that whenever you go out, you have an escort. If you're with Dr. Banner, I'll keep the escort limited to one S.H.I.E.L.D agent who will shadow you. If you are not with Dr. Banner, you will have at least two agents with you, one visible. I want people to pause before they try to snatch you. I'll also have Barton and Romanoff give you some lessons. I want you to be able to get away from someone if they grab you. Some rudimentary self-defense also, perhaps." He tapped his chin thoughtfully.

He was dead serious, and that made Darcy a little afraid. Coulson wouldn't waste resources on a threat he didn't take seriously. People could actually be out to get her. Just because she was awesome at calming the Hulk.

Bruce had warned her, several times. But seeing the video of her that had been posted on the internet…that kind of drove it home for her. This wasn't just something she could blow off and not worry about, like she had with Thor. She'd casually thrown out at Bruce that being present at Thor's first arrival had made her a target, but that was only because of her proximity to Jane. This was being targeted because of what she could do.

"I don't intend for you to fall into unfriendly hands, Miss Lewis," Coulson reassured, seeing her expression. "I may have been out of commission for quite some time, but I'm very good at what I do."

She nodded a little jerkily. "I know. It's just weird, you know? Before, it was people that might want Jane and her research. Now it's me? That's just a little scary."

"Fear is not necessarily a bad thing, Miss Lewis. It will make you more alert." Coulson nodded his head. "It may save your life."

* * *

Over the next few months, Darcy didn't exactly forget that she was now a target of bad guys. It was always in the back of her head. But since she was always in safe company, with Bruce or the others, and they didn't leave the Tower that much, the immediacy of the threat faded from her mind. She had a new relationship with an awesome guy who also happened to be a superhero, and that occupied most of her thinking time.

It was a balancing act though. Big Green completely adored her, and had displayed some signs of jealousy after being bottled up for several weeks. He wanted to spend time with his 'Pretty', and he wasn't happy that he wasn't being allowed to. When he tried to bust out at a very awkward time, Darcy urged Bruce to allow Hulk more 'playtime'.

Bruce wasn't thrilled with the idea. "I've spent years trying to reduce the number of incidents, Darcy."

She frowned at him. "He's just another part of you, Bruce, and the more you try to repress him, the more he'll try to break free." She bit her lip and pulled out her best cute face. "Besides, can you blame him for wanting to spend more time with me?"

Bruce couldn't argue that. "I see your point," he conceded.

Darcy patted his arm reassuringly. "Better to keep him happy now, than to risk some type of temper tantrum during a battle." Then she just had to grin at him. "Besides, I _like_ Big Green."

She didn't really understand why Bruce couldn't stand his alter ego, but then again, she'd never seen him when he was truly out of control. He'd told her stories, as they spent more time together, of Hulk's beserker rages, destroying everything in his path. On one hand, Darcy could understand why. All Hulk knew was anger and rage. Whenever he appeared, people were trying to hurt him or Bruce. In his head, Bruce knew that. But he still felt that Hulk was an out of control monster bent on nothing more than destruction and killing. On the other hand, Darcy suspected that Bruce's inability to release his rage had helped lead to the creation of Hulk, and his continued suppression of it only perpetuated Hulk's rampages.

It helped to have Tony on her side. He constantly tested Bruce's boundaries. Tony was a firm supporter of using whatever talents a person possessed, and he pushed Bruce constantly to work on control of Hulk.

* * *

Darcy and Bruce were sleeping peacefully, after a wonderful date night where they'd walked hand in hand through the city. It had been peaceful and awesome, even with the S.H.I.E.L.D agent tagalong.

Darcy was curled into Bruce's side, enjoying his heat. As it got colder outside, she migrated closer and closer to him at any given time, since he kept her warm. "My own personal heater," she whispered quietly to him, running a hand through the hair on his chest.

He tucked his chin against the top of her head. "I'm good for something then."

She pinched his shoulder, with a grin. "Several things, as I remember it." She loved the little blush that colored his cheeks.

"Dr. Banner. Ms. Lewis."

Darcy blinked in surprise. "Yes Jarvis?"

"Mr. Stark requires assistance. He is in his workroom."

Darcy promised herself that she wouldn't be jealous of how quickly Bruce rolled out of bed. It was fast enough that her head bounced off the mattress before her own body reacted. The fact that Jarvis was asking for assistance and he sounded worried was…slightly terrifying. She rolled and hit the floor, reaching for her clothes which had been tossed haphazardly. Bruce, normally so deliberate in everything he did, was pulling on his own clothes hastily.

The workroom was several floors down, and the elevator was definitely traveling faster than normal. Darcy shared a worried look with Bruce, and noted the slightly guilty expression He had an idea of what was going on, she could see.

"Bruce?" she asked, with an eyebrow raise. "What's going on?"

He looked away, down at the floor. "Tony's been having some issues lately. Just some leftover things from the Chitauri battle. It was…he flew through a portal into an alien dimension. Even Tony Stark can't roll with just everything."

Darcy folded her arms across her chest and tapped a foot. "What's been going on, Bruce?"

He sighed. "He hasn't been sleeping, worse than usual. When he does sleep, he's having nightmares. I'm just guessing at that part right now, because Tony would never admit to that. He's…he's having trouble even talking about anything related to flying through the portal."

Darcy winced. "How did any of that happen without anyone noticing?" Then she thought about it. Tony was Tony, and it was hard to tell if he was having issues, or if he was just being Tony. "You know what? Never mind."

Finding Tony Stark on the floor in the corner of his work shop, knees drawn up to his chest, eyes wide and practically hyperventilating, was absolutely frightening. Since Bruce appeared to be a little freaked out by it, Darcy took charge. She approached the billionaire slowly, using the same soothing tone on him that she used to keep Bruce from Hulking out, and knelt down in front of him.

"Hey Tony. I think maybe it's time for you to get some sleep, don't you think?"

He blinked at her rapidly, rocking back and forth a little. "Can't sleep right now. Other things going on. Don't need to sleep." He kept blinking, eyes sliding away from hers to focus on nothing.

Bruce knelt down beside him, fingers snapping in front of his face. "Everyone needs sleep, Tony. Even you. This isn't healthy."

The billionaire's blinking eyes swiveled to focus on him. "Hey Brucie. You have bed head. Were you showing Kick-Ass your little Hulk?"

Darcy choked a little. "Oh my God Tony. That's ridiculous."

The corner of Stark's mouth quirked up into a grin. "He was, wasn't he? I'm sorry. I should keep my panic attacks limited to working hours from now on. Poor little Hulk was deprived for so many years, he has tons of time to make up for. Did you have to relearn how to use him, Brucie?"

Tony being obnoxious and intrusive was better than being in the middle of a full blown panic attack, Darcy decided. "We are not discussing this with you, Tony. Why don't we get you to bed?"

"Oooo…a threesome," the billionaire cooed, eyes a little glassy. "Do you cuddle afterward, Bruce? I bet you do. Hulk is a cuddler, I've seen him with Kick-Ass. Pepper will be jealous though. She doesn't want to share me. I guess it's not really a good idea. I don't want to upset Pepper."

Bruce slid one hand under Tony's elbow. "C'mon Tony. I have some nice, calming stuff that I can give you that should ensure you don't have any dreams. You need to sleep."

The billionaire rose unsteadily to his feet, swaying. He was filthy, Darcy saw, and probably hadn't showered in days. She moved in to support his other side and wrinkled her nose. Yep, hadn't showered recently.

"Tony – you reek," she told him as Bruce guided them toward the elevator.

Stark tittered. "It's honest, though. Honest human sweat and blood and tears. The Chitauri smelled wrong." He tittered again. "Well of course they did. They were freaking aliens. But they smelled like they weren't from here. Sometimes, I can still smell them, and it's…foreign. I mean, you know how people from different places smell differently, right? They always do, but they still smell human. There's something so fundamentally wrong with the way the Chitauri smelled. It just chokes you and you can taste it."

Darcy rubbed comforting circles on Tony's lower back as the memory choked him in reality. She shared a look with Bruce over Tony's hunched shoulders. His lips were pressed tightly together. Tony had been his constant since they met. The stabilizing (highly irritating) influence that helped Bruce begin to accept the other part of himself and allow him to live again. Always somewhat erratic, but fearless in his prodding, Tony was the main reason why Bruce was no longer running. To see him like this….

While Bruce went to get some 'calming stuff', Darcy bullied Tony into the bathroom in his penthouse rooms with strict orders to strip and shower. As she waited, wandering around the room where Hulk had used Loki as a rag doll, Jarvis assured her that the billionaire was indeed showering.

"Thank you for your assistance, Ms. Lewis," the AI told her. "Miss Potts has been at the Malibu home for quite some time, and Mr. Stark has deteriorated without her presence to steady him."

"I noticed, Jarvis. Maybe Tony should go to her. The others can handle things here. He needs some downtime."

"Agreed, Ms. Lewis."

She wandered around, appreciating the Loki holes in the floor, and just looking around at this place where her Big Green defeated a mad god. It was intoxicating just to think about, that Hulk had that much power. Yet he was a total cupcake around her.

There was a quiet displacement of air as Bruce joined her. He was staring at the floor in amazement. "He told me that he hadn't had those holes repaired. I thought he was joking." He appeared so young in that moment, in total disbelief that Tony was sort of paying homage to Hulk's badass skills by leaving the holes as they were.

Darcy wrapped an arm around his arm, leaning in to his warmth. "It reminds him of your decision to stop running. That's very important to him. Kind of like you're his adult child, or something."

Bruce's laugh was a gentle snort. "You got him to shower?"

"Yep," Darcy assured. "I told him that he didn't really want to get in his bed smelling like he did. Jarvis backed me up."

"Indeed Ms. Lewis," the AI agreed. "I simply reminded Mr. Stark that Miss Potts would not appreciate a less than fresh smell in the bedroom, when she returns to this place. I have submitted a flight plan to Malibu, ready to initiate when Mr. Stark wakes. His pilot is on standby."

Bruce nodded thoughtfully. "You're sending him to Pepper, Jarvis?"

"Yes, Dr. Banner. Miss Potts is a stabilizing influence. I believe she will be able to help calm Mr. Stark."

Darcy wasn't prepared for Tony Stark staggering out of his bathroom completely naked, and averted her eyes with a yelp. That brought Bruce's head whipping around, and he let out an almost pained sigh when he saw the billionaire trainwreck.

"I…uh…just let me help him into bed, okay?"

Darcy's hands were plastered over her eyes. "Please. Omigod. I did not want to see Tony's junk. I think my eyes are scarred for life."

"Brucie…" Tony cooed, voice edged with complete exhaustion. "Are you going to tuck me in?"

Bruce's half choked laugh made Darcy smile. "Uh…um…I'm gonna make sure you get to bed, Tony. No tucking. No touching. Not doing anything to upset Pepper, remember?"

Darcy's very evil mind supplied images from a naughty fangirl's dream. "Oh please you guys. Get this over with so Bruce and I can get out of here, okay? Tony…wow. Just…get some sleep, okay?"

"She's so nice," she overheard. "Why is she so nice? She scares me. She's a Hulk tamer. Brucie…don't let her go."

"Not planning on it, Tony. Here – take these. They'll help you relax, and keep the dreams away. Trust me."

"Are they legal?"

"Um…just take them, okay? They won't hurt you." She heard water sloshing.

"Brucie…you're such a rebel. S'kinda hot…"

Darcy waited a few seconds, and then cautiously lowered her hands to peek over them. Tony was out, arm flung over his eyes, collapsed on his bed. Bruce was pulling a blanket over him, with the same care he'd show a child, she imagined.

"He's right, you know," she called to Bruce.

He turned slowly, mouth quirking up adorably. "About what?"

Darcy curled her finger in a come on gesture. "You're hot, Bruce."

He rolled his eyes at her, but followed her from Tony's bedroom with one last, worried, look over his shoulder. Darcy was worried too, but Bruce had rather absently told Tony something, and she wasn't going to let him forget it.

"Not planning on letting me go?" she asked quietly as they entered the elevator.

Bruce ducked his head with a smile. "I didn't think you'd let me, even if I tried. But I don't want to try. You're…unique. You make me happy."

Darcy leaned into him. "Take me back to bed, Dr. Banner."

His eyes lightened toward green, the way they always did when he was aroused. "I can do that."

Tony apparently left without fanfare when he woke up. Darcy was only blearily aware of Bruce softly inquiring of Jarvis, and Jarvis's soft reply that Mr. Stark had departed for Malibu an hour earlier. It was too early to think of waking up completely, so Darcy mumbled a halfhearted protest, wrapped her arms around her shaggy scientist/hero, and went back to sleep.

* * *

Bruce was somewhat lost without his billionaire heckler. Darcy and Jane didn't say a word when he migrated to Jane's lab and worked on different things there. He was mostly quiet, but occasionally could be drawn into conversations with Jane about things that Darcy didn't even want to try to think about, because they made her brain hurt.

In their own way, everyone quietly missed Tony. It was mostly quiet on the Avengers front, so Coulson apparently took the opportunity to talk strategies with the remaining team members. Darcy was sometimes included in these sessions because of her unique Hulk taming abilities. She wondered, idly, if Coulson had mentioned anything to the other Avengers about her relatively new status as a target. No one appeared to be acting any different, so she guessed not. They had enough to worry about.

The first assemble called without Iron Man was awkward for everyone. Apple Pie actually forgot and was waiting impatiently for Tony to make an appearance. Clint had to lean over and whisper a reminder to him. Darcy thought the embarrassed blush looked adorable on Captain America.

She was in the covert ops van again, with Sitwell, Coulson, and another agent. Coulson took the opportunity to quietly ask her what she knew about Tony's struggles. Darcy was torn, but answered honestly. Coulson would help if he could. She knew that instinctively.

He also quizzed her about her relationship with Bruce. It was clever. She had to give him that. She answered several relatively personal questions before she started thinking about it. Then she frowned at him. "Not cool, Double Oh."

He offered a small little smile. Months had eased the gauntness in his face, and the dark circles were gone. He appeared healthy once again, although she noticed that the other agents still watched him carefully to make sure he wasn't overexerting. Phil Coulson, she had learned, was a legend in S.H.I.E.L.D. And rightfully so.

The battle was going well, even without Iron Man's presence. Thor and Hulk worked remarkably well together (until after the battle, at least). And Clint, Natasha and Steve had gotten very good at becoming their own fighting unit. Clint was typically always up on a building using his extraordinary eyesight to keep immediate tabs on the battle, and rain down arrows from above. Of course, this also made him an immediate target for any enemies that could fly, but Clint seemed used to this. It wasn't uncommon to see him jumping off of buildings, or between buildings, depending on the location.

Coulson liked what he was seeing. "We should be wrapping this up early," he told Darcy quietly.

Sitwell nodded. "It seems like major overkill to have the Avengers called out for this. It appears that the threat was exaggerated."

Darcy snorted. "Everyone wants the Avengers. The police are getting lazy."

Coulson nodded thoughtfully. "Agreed. This is definitely something that should have been handled by police."

The remainder of the laughable attack force turned to flee, signally the end of the battle. The Avengers did not pursue. Sitwell jumped to his feet and gestured to Darcy. "Hulk calming time," he told her.

Darcy followed him out of the van, heading toward Big Green, who was staring angrily after the fleeing perpetrators. "Hey Big Green," she called.

Hulk turned toward her, and the scene just erupted into gunfire. Darcy shrieked. It was one thing to know he was invulnerable to bullets, but quite another to see him, arm raised to partially shield him from the stinging assault of bullets. There seemed to be armed assailants popping up everywhere, and Hulk was their target.

He roared in fury, spittle flying from his mouth, and grabbed the nearest thing, which turned out to be a car. Darcy watched in amazement as he used the car like a shield, blocking the worst of the bullet storm. He also kept his body between the bullets and his teammates, since Steve, Natasha and Clint were not bullet proof.

Thor threw a different car at a group of gunmen, mowing them down, but there were more appearing. Darcy had to wonder where they had been hidden, and why they had chosen now to emerge. Sitwell was barking orders, and suddenly seemed to realize Darcy was standing there gawking.

"Get down, Lewis!" he ordered. "Something is wrong."

She was moving back toward the van when another wave of assailants appeared and swarmed Sitwell. He went down with a shout, leaving Darcy standing by herself, facing about ten goons wearing ninja-like body suits. With guns.

"Well shit," she murmured in a shaky voice, just before she felt a prick in her arm, and the world went dark.

* * *

_Sorry! I know it's a cliffhanger, but the next update will be posted before too long, promise!_

li


	17. Chapter 17

As promised – not too long between updates!

Bonus Hulk POV in this chapter!

* * *

Ugh. What freight train had hit her?

Darcy swam up out of a dark pit, head pounding, cottony mouth, everything hurting, the world dipping and turning around her. She pried her eyes open, sure by the way it felt that she had imbibed entirely too much alcohol and was collapsed in her bed. Then she had to blink and look around again.

She was in the back of some type of cargo van, sprawled on a dirty, stinky, stained mattress. Oh yuck. She didn't want to know what had caused the stains and really, really, hoped they weren't fresh. No wonder she felt like the world was dipping and turning around her. The van was in motion and from what she could feel, they were moving quite fast. That was probably smart on their part, since they'd just kidnapped Hulk's girlfriend.

Big Green would be going crazy. That thought (and strangely not the thought of being kidnapped) had Darcy's stomach twisting into knots. Bruce would blame himself and would try to break things off with her, for her own good. Or he would flee.

Bile rose in her throat. Darcy flipped up on her side and leaned over the edge of the disgusting mattress. Her stomach convulsed once, twice, and then she was puking. It burned the whole way out, making her eyes water. And then again, as her twisting stomach decided it didn't want anything in it.

When the stomach was emptied, she dry heaved for a little, but finally got it under control. Her mouth now felt like a garbage disposal and she was still queasy. Darcy slowly sat up, hands braced on the filthy mattress, head hanging, taking low shallow breaths. Okay, being drugged and kidnapped officially sucked.

She took stock of things, peering out from under her hair. There didn't seem to be anything in the back of the van except for the dirty mattress she was sitting on. There was no side door, and the windows in the rear doors were sealed over. The inside door handle had been removed. There was an inner wall between the cab and the cargo space, so she couldn't even go crazy on the driver and hope that the van would wreck. They had prepared for this, whoever they were.

She had left her bag in the covert ops van. That really sucked, because she'd feel a lot better with her taser in her hands.

The van lurched and bounced violently, throwing Darcy face first into the filthy mattress. She tried not to breathe as she propped herself up again. They needed to stop or she was going to keep puking.

Strangely, she wasn't worried about Hulk getting hurt, even though he'd been suffering through a hail of bullets when she last saw him. Hulk was indestructible. Or at least no one had found anything to hurt him yet. But she was very afraid of how he would react to her kidnapping. Coulson and Sitwell probably felt pretty shitty and stupid too. The whole battle thing had been a setup to draw out the Hulk tamer. Even S.H.I.E.L.D had easily fallen for it.

She was fuzzy headed still, and that was a little bit of a blessing because Darcy didn't want to think about what could happen to her. She had an active imagination, and she'd overheard enough from Clint and Natasha to know that she wouldn't be able to deal with anything that involved pain. If they wanted information, she'd blurt it out at the first hint of torture.

Her rogue mind started supplying vivid pictures of what could be done to her, and Darcy leaned over to puke again. The smell of the puke was enough to make her heave again. Ugh. This was miserable. She wanted to be rescued right now. Please.

As long as they were traveling, things were okay. Sure, they were probably getting further and further away from help, but at least no one was in the back with her…doing things to her.

Oh god. Darcy squeezed her eyes shut, wrapping her arms around herself and keening quietly while rocking back and forth. Tears ran from her eyes and dripped off her chin. She couldn't take this. Big Green needed to come busting through the back of the van right now. Right. Now. She stared expectantly at the doors, waiting, hoping…

It didn't work, and she broke into wracking sobs. Darcy curled up on the filthy stinking mattress and cried until she couldn't breathe. She knew, _knew_, that Big Green would rescue her. Whether that came before or after bad things happened…she didn't know.

Emotionally wrung out, Darcy drifted into a fitful sleep.

A shuddering jolt woke her abruptly. Darcy shrieked as she was thrown from the mattress, crashing into the wall of the van painfully. That hurt. She braced her hands against the wall, and straightened her legs to brace against the mattress, providing a temporary relief from bouncing helplessly around in the back of the van.

The van was being driven fast, recklessly, with no regard to its passenger. She idly wondered what was going wrong, and hoped it involved a big, green pursuer.

The tiny bit of rest, and the purge of tears, seemed to have rejuvenated her. After all, she had some lessons in self-defense from Hawkeye and the Black Widow. Even Coulson had provided some training so that she was able to defend herself. Maybe she wasn't a certifiable badass like they were, but if she got the chance, she might be able to break free of someone and run. Coulson had insisted on running as a requirement of her training. So he had turned her over to a high level S.H.I.E.L.D agent who was a sick and twisted individual, and they ran at least three times a week. In the beginning, Darcy had spent a lot of time bent over her knees, huffing. At first. But gradually, over the course of several months, she was able to knock out a mile with no problem. The most challenging part of that training had been the sprint drills. No one thought she would be running a marathon to get away, but she had to be fast and able to maintain that speed over a reasonable distance.

Darcy took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. She felt more in control now, like she really was the Hulk's girlfriend, and not some sniveling victim. She never wanted to be that, which was why she started carrying a taser.

Time seemed skewed, because surely she hadn't been a kidnap victim for that long, but since every breath was breathed in anticipation of what would happen next, it seemed like forever. The frantic drive wasn't making time pass any faster, either. It sucked that Tony wasn't around, because he was the only one really suited for pursuit. Thor's flying involved too much hammer work. The others were relegated to regular pursuit, unless they'd snagged one of the jet things. Then again, if they'd done that, the chase would already be over, and Darcy would be safe, trying to convince Bruce not to break up with her. And Hulk's methods of pursuit were a bit more…aggressive. Given the reckless, frantic feel to their trip, Hulk was definitely in pursuit.

Darcy couldn't wait until he caught up to them.

* * *

Stupid.

Hulk bored. Need more smash. Small pests. Not worth Hulk's time.

No metal man. Miss metal man.

Small pests run. Need more smash.

Pretty! Pretty here! Come for Hulk? Come for Banner? Pretty!

More small pests. Lots of small pests. Shoot Hulk. Team in danger.

Many pests shoot Hulk. Protect team. Not strong, like Hulk.

Smash pests. More fun.

Pretty? Pretty fall. Who? Who catch Pretty? No take Pretty! Hulk's!

Pretty! Team? Hulk smash! Pretty! Bring back Pretty! Team?

Rocket not stop Hulk. Sting. Not hurt. Smash little pests.

Pretty! Pretty in van. Drive away. No! Hulk's!

Hole. Hole beneath Hulk. Fall. Covered. Pretty!

Smash! Smash to get out. Get to Pretty! Jump? Too much covered. Smash more.

Pretty! Where Pretty? No see Pretty.

"Hey big guy. You okay?"

Spider pretty. Not hurt. "Pretty?"

"They took her. Cap is in pursuit."

"Where?"

"Don't know yet, big guy. Cap'll stay in touch."

Smash! Smash! SMASH!

"I know. We'll get her back. Hawkeye! You still have eyes on that van?"

Stick man come down. "Lost 'em, Nat. Even my eyes can only see so far. Cap's on their ass, though. How ya doing, Big Green?"

"Hulk SMASH!"

"Yeah, as soon Cap pins down a location. We won't lose her. Damn amateurs. They threw sheer numbers at us. And probably lost about half their men when you started throwing cars at them."

Where? Where Pretty?

"It's okay, big guy. Calm down a little, okay? Where you going? Coulson, do we have a direction? Big guy is going after his girl. It would be helpful to point him in the right direction."

Not-dead man angry. "We have a lock on Captain Roger's locator. Take this. It'll track him for you. Barton! Romanoff! Take the van."

"That's the best we got, Coulson? It's slow as shit."

"You're chasing another van, Barton."

"True."

"Mr. Hulk!"

Hmm?

Not-dead man scary smile. "They went that way with Darcy."

Hulk SMASH them. Take back Pretty.

* * *

Apparently, it had never occurred to Darcy's genius kidnappers that Hulk would come after them. Aggressively. As in 'you took my woman' aggressively. Judging from the panicked, high pitched shrieks, they weren't prepared to handle it. Well…Big Green could be intimidating most of the time.

She was practically being shaken apart in the back of the van, and just hoped that the wild chase wasn't hurting anyone. The pursuit had escalated. She heard gunfire, along with what sounded like a motorcycle engine, so could only assume that Clint, Natasha, or Steve was in immediate pursuit. But she'd also felt the shuddering mini-explosions of Big Green landing from his awesome jumps. He was close.

She was grinning with manic delight at the sounds of panic coming from the front of the van. Served them right. Hulk was going to rip them apart. She couldn't help but feel a bit smug about that. It wasn't a nice way to feel, but she didn't care. It hadn't been nice to kidnap her with the intention of using her against Hulk.

It would likely come to a destructive end. This van couldn't take this type of abuse for long before something broke beyond repair. Dying during her rescue wasn't an option, so Darcy tried to think of how she could minimize damage to herself if the van flipped, or drove into a Hulk, or had a tire blown out.

She looked around again, just to be sure she hadn't missed anything that could be used. Sadly, the only thing she saw was the gross mattress. It was old enough, and soft enough, to be used for cushioning. It was just the idea…yuck. She didn't want to touch it.

The van bounced about two feet into the air, and Darcy lost her bracing grip. She was tossed across the cargo hold and into the far wall. Ouch. Ouch Ouch. Fine. With a deep breath, she plopped herself onto one end of the floppy, gross mattress, and pulled at it until it folded in half with her in the center. She held on to both edges of the mattress, holding the folded top half down against her.

Just in time, as the van sloped down violently, and the protesting shriek of torn metal filled her ears. Their forward movement abruptly stopped. The folded mattress shot forward, colliding with the blocked off front of the van. Darcy barely managed to retain her grip on the edges but did, feeling a little squashed with the impact, but not shredded or broken.

With another shriek of protesting metal, the front half of the van was torn off. Darcy spilled out of her folded mattress onto the ground, right at Big Green's feet. He was practically frothing at the mouth, in pure rage mode. If she had been the focus of his anger, she would be peeing herself right now. Instead, his eyes fell upon her, and the snarl on his face eased into an expression of such relief that Darcy wanted to cry.

"Hey big guy," she greeted in a rusty voice.

He casually threw the front half of the van (with its screaming operators) over his shoulder. "Pretty."

"I am so glad to see you," she told him, and burst into tears of relief.

Hulk, it seemed, didn't know what to do with a crying woman. It made Darcy laugh at the same time she was crying. He stood over her with wide eyes, practically wringing his big hands in distress, looking from side to side. She took pity on him, and wrapped her arms around his tree trunk leg, holding on for dear life.

"Ms. Lewis?"

She raised her head from where it was buried against Hulk's leg. Apple Pie was standing close, sweaty, dirty, yet highly relieved. "Yes Captain?" She was proud that her voice only wavered a little.

"Are you all right?"

"A little banged up, Captain, but I'm okay."

He started forward. "Let's get you checked out by medical. They're en route."

The snarling growl from Hulk stopped him in his tracks. Darcy leaned back a little so she could look up. Big Green wasn't about to relinquish her to anyone right now. His fists were clenched so tightly together she was surprised his fingers weren't shattering, and his face was locked in a warning snarl.

"I think it can wait, Captain."

"Noted." He pivoted on one blue booted heel and went to check on the fate of the van's drivers.

Darcy leaned back in against her savior, still holding on to his leg ridiculously tightly. It grounded her. His blazing warmth let her know she was safe.

"Hurt?"

Darcy smiled against his leg, tears still leaking from her eyes, breath still chuffing. "I'm okay, big guy," she reassured in a watery voice. "Just a little emotional right now."

"Home," he told her, and scooped her up with one hand. Darcy was snuggled in against his chest moments later, and sighed in relief as she felt the wind rushing by them. They were jumping. Away. Away from the evil bad kidnappers who had probably been pulverized. She didn't care.

Tony apparently had put in an outside entrance to the Hulk-proof level, and Hulk knew where it was. Darcy would be impressed about that later, when she stopped shaking. The winter air was cold when jumping through it, even with her own personal Hulk heater. Well, and there was the whole being kidnapped thing. She was still trying to process that.

Once inside, it was blessedly warm. Big Green didn't let go of her, but flopped down on something and leaned back so she was snuggled into his chest. Darcy clung to him like a leech, letting his warmth seep into her. She practically purred when big green arms wrapped gently around her. Gradually, the shaking subsided, and the gentle rumble of Hulk's breathing lulled her to sleep.

* * *

She woke slowly. The first thing that registered to her confused brain was the smell. She stank. She smelled like that stupid mattress. Thoughts of the mattress led to thoughts of being kidnapped, which led to a slight panic attack.

Darcy was almost hyperventilating when two strong, bare arms wrapped around her. He didn't say anything, just squeezed her tightly. She appreciated that. She didn't want to talk about it right now.

Eventually, she raised her head to look around. They were still in the Hulk proof level. Bruce was sprawled on top of…some kind of giant bean bag? The lack of clothing told her that he hadn't moved since he had first flopped down on it, as Big Green. She was curled up on top of him, still completely clothed in her dirty, stinky clothes.

Bruce's eyes were a little haunted. "Are you okay?" he asked, voice a little hoarse. His hands were warm and comforting against her back.

Darcy nodded. "Mostly. Just…a little freaked still. I…I was imagining all kinds of things."

Bruce's eyes flashed green. "They weren't going to get the chance to hurt you."

"I noticed. How long? I was out for some of it."

His jaw clenched. "It was a couple of hours. Steve went after you right away. Hu-the Other Guy was pinned down by gunfire. Clint and Natasha stayed to help take out the gunmen, and when that was over, the Other Guy went after you."

Darcy exhaled shakily. She was thirsty, stinky, and starting to get hungry. "I need to shower," she told Bruce, sitting up, hands braced against his chest.

His hands didn't leave her back, and his eyes didn't leave her face. "That's a good idea. My rooms, or yours?"

She didn't want to be alone. She desperately did not want to be alone. "I honestly don't care, as long as you stay with me." Darcy's gaze was sharp as she looked down at him. "You are staying, aren't you?"

He glanced off to the side briefly, then focused on her again. "Tony would be very disappointed in me if I didn't." His hands slid around to her waist and squeezed. "This…never should have happened. It was careless. We should have pulled out as soon as we realized that we weren't really needed. But we didn't. So we learned a lesson, and so did S.H.I.E.L.D." A frown pulled at his mouth. "You missed Tony's public outburst. You remember that terrorist that's been on the news, the Mandarin? He blew up a building and Happy got hurt. Reporters got to Tony as he was coming out the hospital, and he challenged the guy. Tony's itching for a fight, I think."

She could deal with his Tony fixation. It helped keep him steady, even when Tony wasn't there. "Pepper needs to keep a closer eye on him." She scooted down Bruce's legs until her legs could reach the floor. He sat up as she moved further away, hands still at her waist. He was dealing better than she thought he would. "How did you find out about the Tony thing? You've been down here."

"Jarvis," Bruce answered, allowing her to pull him to his feet off the bean bag chair. "I woke a bit before you, and needed something to take my mind off things. So Jarvis played the news for me."

Darcy almost, almost, snorted in derision. "The news to take your mind off of things? Hmm…somehow, Bruce, I don't think that works." She had to take a moment to admire the view, because her mind needed to be taken off of things. "Did I ever tell you that I like this look on you?"

Since the remnants of his pants had slid off his legs when he stood up, Bruce was standing in front of her completely naked and a little sheepish. "Yes you have. Several times. C'mon. Let's get you into a shower." One of his hands fumbled out to take one of hers. "I won't leave you alone."

Darcy had the feeling that she was going to be stuck to him like glue for a while. Or vice versa.


End file.
